DONNIE’S WEEK IN RAGE VIDEO :
Check out this turd…He’s trying to video tape a tornado in Hempfield, PA. But he’s the worst camera man ever. You can’t see anything. At all. Check out this video. What an eff turd.
IT’S THAT KIND OF DAY TODAY…DAMN IT FEELS GOOD TO BE A GANGSTA.
Today’s Anthem: Scott Stapp serenades us sweetly!
- On Tuesday in D.C., – two planes just landed at an airport without clearance from the tower….why? Because…the Air Traffic Control guy fell asleep. Can someone say, “SO FIRED!” Want to play some games to act like an Air Traffic Controller? Iphone users download Traffic Control. If you have a Nintendo DS get Air Traffic Chaos
- Remember the Underwear Bomber? Well some more details have been released…why did this guy target Detroit? Why? It had the cheapest prices for a flight. Hahaha! Wtf! So funny!
- A woman thought her male masseuse was 100% gay. He would do some massaging of the boobs, butt, and inner thighs…..well…guess what. He’s not gay. And he’s 100% involved with someone and was just trying to grab some boob. He is “shocked” to hear of these charges.
- This bitch in Seattle was walking when a couple of dude tossing a Frisbee around accidentally HIT HER WITH THE FRISBEE IN THE LEG! She called 911! WHAT?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! SHE SAID SHE WAS ASSAULTED AND WAS BRUISING AND EXPERIENCED EXTREME PAIN!
- WHO FRIGGIN CARES?: March 25th – this is officially PECAN DAY…why? Because it was on this day that George Washington planted seeds for a pecan tree…..ummm….WHO FRIGGIN CARES?!
- The Sweet Sixteen kicked off last night with the defending champs making an exit. Arizona knocked off Number 1 seeded Duke and last years champs. Florida beat red hot BYU, UConn takes down San Diego State University, and 8 seed Butler ends Wisconsin’s run at a National Championship. Sweet Sixteen continues tonight with North Carolina taking on Marquette and Kansas vs. Richmond in the early games…and Ohio State vs. Kentucky and Florida State takes on VCU in the late games.
- The Blues shut out the Edmonton Oilers 4-0 last night. And in case you’re keeping score – the blues sit 12 points out of the last playoff spot with only 9 games remaining. The team is off today – and they take on the Wild in Minnesota on Saturday.
- Remember earlier this week the Cards and Nationals got in a bench clearing “brawl” during their Spring Training game? Well even though the games don’t mean anything, their actions do. The MLB announced that “several” players from both teams were fined but did not give out any names. Rumors are that for sure both managers, Cards pitcher Chris Carpenter, and Nats pitcher Livan Hernadez were just a few of those receiving fines.
- CNBC released the best selling MLB Jerseys of 2010 yesterday.
10. Tim Lincecum SF
9. Alex Rodriguez NYY
8. Dustin Pedroia BOS
7. Josh Hamilton TEX
6. Albert Pujols STL
5. Cliff Lee SEA/TEX/PHIL
4. Chase Utley PHIL
3. Roy Halladay PHIL
2. Joe Mauer MIN
1 Derek Jeter NYY
- Chris Brown has “apologized” for causing a scene at the Good Morning America set the other day. He claims that before the interview he only agreed to talk about the new album. Chris Brown fans are calling death threats against Robyn Roberts because she asked him a question about Rhianna. Get over here…
- The Founder of Napster – Sean Parker – may buy Warner Music Group. That’s the record label that Metallica is under. HAHAHA! What a ritard.
- A band has received money from a website and they are now called the BuyStock.Net Band. That’s hilarious. Are they any good?
- Jeremy Piven could be a replacement for 2 and A Half Men….don’t get excited…it’s just a rumor.
- George Lopez talked some crap on Kirstie Alley. Hmmmm….ok? It was actually kind of funny.
- Elizabeth Taylor said that James Dean was abused by his minister. That was her secret that she took to the grave.
David Letterman: Donald Trump, Vanessa Hudgens, Oh Land (R 3/2/11)
Jay Leno: Jennifer Hudson, William H. Macy
Jimmy Kimmel: Liv Tyler, Mark Cuban, Charlie Sheen, Brett Dennen (R 3/21/11)
Craig Ferguson: Topher Grace, Catherine Deneuve (R 3/8/11)
Jimmy Fallon: Billy Crudup, Martha Plimpton, Reggie Fils-Aime, Cut Copy
Carson Daly: LL Cool J, DJ Z-Trip, David Fricke, Stacey Wilhelm, Mona and the Knux
Danica Patrick is 29
Sarah Jessica Park is 46
Marcia Cross is 49
Haywood Nelson is 51
Elton John is 64
Aretha Franklin is 69
Keira Knightley is 26
Kenny Chesney is 43
Michael Imperioli is 45
Jennifer Grey is 51
Martin Short is 61
Steven Tyler is 63
Nacy Pelosi is 71
Diana Ross is 67
James Caan is 71
Leonard Nimoy is 80
Fergie is 36
Mariah Carey is 42
Quentin Tarantino is 48
Adrianna Nicole – 34 – This birthday hooker has had more people go up inside her than the Gateway Arch in 280 fine films including:
- Looks Like Fun
- Satan’s Whore
- Big Boobs Are Cool Vol. 1
- Diesel Dongs 10
- 3 Black Bros and 1 White Ho
- Suck It Bitch!
- Booty Annihilators Vol 4
- Open Up And Say Ahh
- Black By Injection
- Load Almighty
TODAYS HEADLINE HOOSHE COMES TO US FROM OCALA, FLORIDA where 92 year old Helen Staudinger just wanted a kiss from her 53 year old neighbor Dwight Bettner. Dwight said he thought his elderly neighbor had a crush on him, but in honesty, he would only go over there to do neighborly stuff like take out her trash. Well – here is when this whole thing gets REAL hoosier. Right around noon, Dwight got into an argument with Helen when she came to his house and refused to leave. She said, “I want a kiss before I leave.” Of course he said No and told her to leave and she did after he slammed the door in her face– but of course she was upset. Shortly after she left, bullets started raining down on Dwight’s house (sweet Mobile Home)). One actually flew through a window he was standing by. When he looked out the winder (window) he saw that his 92 year old neighbor had also shot up his BRAND NEW 2001 Mitsubishi 3000GT ((the last 3000 was made in ’99)) that he “loved so much.” The neighbor was arrested and Dwight says he’s looking to move.
FRIDAY FAIL STORIES
- A dude in Georgia wanted to break into Cop Cars…he asked two dudes to be lookouts. Those two dude…undercover cops. FAIL.
My Jeans by Jenna Rose
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