Today’s Anthem: Our Favorite Anthem Bitch is back…
Today’s Douchebag of the Day is a REAL LIFE CLAYTON BIGSBY from The Dave Chapelle Show. This dude lives in O’Fallon, IL…well lived there…but he’s in jail now. He sent a letter to the O’Fallon, IL Police Department saying, “Get All The Blacks out of O’Fallon or we will start to burn down the houses…” Here is a side note…he’s black. He’s currently undergoing mental evaluation in Federal custody. What an IDIOT!
- Instead of saying Easter Eggs….say Spring Spheres. I swear to God. Uh-oh…I mean I swear to a person of religious beliefs who oversees others. No joke about this though. A school made some girl called them Spring Sphere because “Easter Egg” could be offensive to someone.
- Here are some things that you shouldn’t even THINK about deducting:
- Landline Telephone
- Commuting Costs
- Your pet
- Plastic Surgery
- Dry Cleaning
- Time you spent Volunteering
- Over the counter medicine
- A woman in New York drowned her kids…and then killed herself yesterday. It was really disturbing. She drove herself and her 3 kids, 2, 5, and 11 months old off of a bridge and straight into the river. Her 10 year old son got out of the car before it went under. We all agree…bring this bitch back to life so we can fry her again. What a sick woman.
- Eight doubles for the team and a Grand Slam from Lance Berkman helped the Cardinals dominate the Diamondbacks and win the series against Arizona last night as they went on to win 15-5. The Cards are now 5-7 and head to L.A. to take on the Dodgers tonight. First pitch is scheduled for 9:10PM.
- The NBA has fined KOBE BRYANT $100,000 for calling a ref an effing faggot during Tuesday night’s game between the Lakers and the Spurs. It happened after he got hit with his fourth technical foul of the night. Kobe hit the bench . . . and you can clearly read his lips. Several gay groups went after Kobe, and demanded he be punished. So Kobe issued a SORT-OF apology.He said, quote, “What I said last night should not be taken literally. My actions were out of frustration during the heat of the game, period. The words expressed do NOT reflect my feelings towards the gay and lesbian communities and were NOT meant to offend anyone.” Kobe later said he hoped to meet with gay groups in order to, quote, “turn [the situation] into a positive and raise as much awareness as we can.” As for his fine, Kobe said, quote, “You gotta own up and just take responsibility for what it is.” But then he turned right around and said he’s APPEALING the fine . . . as a matter of, quote, “typical protocol.”
- NHL Playoff results from last night. The Redwings, Penguins, Capitals, Canucks and Predators all get wins. Tonight: action continues with The Bruins taking on the Canadians, The Flyers against the Sabres, and the Kings taking on the San Jose Sharks.
- BARRY BONDS was found guilty yesterday of only one of the four federal charges that were brought against him. The jury found him guilty of OBSTRUCTION OF JUSTICE but the failed to reach a decision on three perjury charges. There’s no word yet if or when he’ll be retried on those counts. As far as the obstruction of justice charge – Barry COULD receive up to 10 years in federal prison. But it’s more likely if he serves any time it will be 15 to 21 months. And there’s actually talk that he could serve whatever sentence he gets in home confinement.
- Remember the story we had yesterday about the fat chick who got denied seats to American Idol? (or at least she says so….) Well – she was on TV yesterday talking about it. She wasn’t sent to the BACK of the building…she was sent to the BACK OF THE SECTION. She says all she wants is an apology. She’s not going to get it…Idol still says that this whole story NEVER happened and that she was told in advance that the seats were split up.
- People Magazine put out the most beautiful people list…here is how it panned out: Jennifer Lopez got top billings…click HERE for the full list of folks
- The video of Gloria James slapping the valet came out….in which apparently she called him an effin n-word…..check it out here:
- Catherine Zeta Jones has bi-polar disorder. Really? Who would have thought this bitch would be crazy?! She suffers from something called Bi-Polar 2…which Woody says sounds a lot cooler than Bi-Polar I.
- Mick Foley will mow your lawn for charity. If you donate $5,000 he will mow it! Neato! Click here to check it out.
David Letterman: Seth Meyers, Carmelo Anthony, TV on the Radio
Jay Leno: Tyler Perry, Kendra Wilkinson, Bright Eyes
Jimmy Kimmel: Tom Arnold, Alison Brie, Francis & the Lights
Craig Ferguson: Kristen Bell, Jason Aldean
Jimmy Fallon: Kathy Bates, Chris Pratt, Lupe Fiasco (R 3/4/11)
Carson Daly: Florence & the Machine (R 3/18/11)
Conan O’Brien: Matthew Morrison, Alexis Bledel, Queens of the Stone Age
Lopez Tonight: Anne Hathaway, Anthony Anderson, Sum 41
Actor Bradford Dillman (Falcon Crest) is 81.
Country singer Loretta Lynn is 76.
Actress Julie Christie is 71.
MLB Gambler Pete Rose is 70.
Actor John Shea is 62.
Actor Brad Garrett is 51.
Actor Robert Carlyle is 50.
Actor Anthony Michael Hall is 43.
Actor Adrien Brody is 38.
Actor Antwon Tanner (One Tree Hill) is 36.
Actress Sarah Michelle Gellar is 34.
Actress Abigail Breslin is 15.
– Destination Tonsils
– Anal Buffet
– Gloryhole Confessions
– King of Coochie
– Buttwoman v. Slut Woman
– JO Material
– Praise The Load
– Face Invaders
– Legend of The Magic Taco
Check out the 8AM podcast for our SEXY TIME FUN FACTS – LESBIAN STORIES!
- 15% of women with no high school diploma said that they have batted for the other team
- The same type of stats go for women and oral sex with other women.
- 29% of women say they have NOT had a sexual experience until after college
CONTESTANT #1 – Josh
CATEGORY: Rock Trivia
QUESTION:Three Dollar Bill Yall, Significant Others, & Hotdog Flavored Water & The Chocolate Starfish
HERE’S THE PHONE NUMBER: He got it right!
CONTESTANT #2 – Kyle
CATEGORY: Cards Trivia
QUESTION: What Cardinal holds the record for most Home Runs hit in the OLD Busch Stadium
HIS ANSWER: Mark McGwire
THE ANSWER: Ray Lankford
HERE’S THE PHONE NUMBER: 636-627-7714
HERE IS THE PRESS YOUR LUCK FACEBOOK PAGE….CLICK HERE.