Today’s Anthem: CRACK HEAD ANTHEM FOR THE WIN!
WE WANT TO PUNCH THIS “C” IN THE FACE:
WELL…THE MOST EMAILED TOPIC OVER THE WEEKEND WAS THE REASON FOR WOODY BEING OFF ON FRIDAY…..THE ANSWER IS………..HE JUST TOOK A DAY OFF!
EVERYONE…RELAX….EVEN THE BEST NEED A DAY TO REST. HE’S BACK TODAY AND THE GANG IS TOGETHER AGAIN!
- Lambert Airport is now operating at 85%. It really got EFFED up by that storm.
- Some facts: Bridgeton got the worst damage. Bellefontaine, Maryland Heights, Ferguson and other North County areas got really messed up too. Craziness.
- File this under the pussification of America continues…..state officials in New York have decided that some games that are played at Summer Camp, or even by kids at home, are more likely to pose significant risk of injury. The games that are deemed too dangerous for summer camps per state guidelines are Wiffle Ball, kickball, dodgeball, freeze tag, Capture the Flag, Red Rover, and a game called Steal the Bacon which sounds delicious. The NY health department said these sports are too dangerous and any program that offers two or more organized rec activities, as long as they don’t include the dangerous ones, will be fine and meet the state standards. Some of the “games” that made the list of SAFE games….Frisbee, tug of war, and sack races….which all seem more dangerous then Wiffle Ball. Some parents who send their kids to summer camp were asked what they thought and it was pretty 50/50. Some parents loved it saying they didn’t want Little Flower to get hurt…but others said they rather have their kids go play then sit in a room with a video game system and a TV. ((WOODY SAY SOME BS PINATA THAT WAS A HIT FREE PINATA…WHAT A JOKE))
- A Home Depot greeter got bit in the nose when an old man was pushing it around in a shopping court. The man had to put the dog down and the woman had to have emergency plastic surgery. Why the hell is this dude bringing the dog into the Home Depot anyway?!
REMEMBER THIS DOG?!
CHECK OUT THIS WOMAN…SHE FEARS DOGS:
- Yadier Molina hit a 3 run home run yesterday, Cardinals beat the Reds…..3 to nothing….Albert left the game with tightness in his hamstring. No real news on how serious his injury is but – he’s probably fine. Cards are off today but are in Houston tomorrow night.
- Some crazy news involving Dolphins wide receiver Brandon Marshall over the weekend. Dude was hospitalized after he got stabbed in the stomach Friday night by his WIFE! She of course is saying it was self defense, but no one is believing that. Dude even tried to protect his wife by saying he fell on a broken vase. One problem – cops say a vase…but there was no blood or anything around it. There was however, blood on the walls, the floor, and there looked like there had been a fight. He also had cuts on his hands…She got arrested and he went to the ER. Dude had emergency surgery and is ok….but this isn’t the first time the two have gotten into it. Back in 09 Marshall was arrested for roughing his wife up, but charges were dropped. His wife still sits in jail under $75,000 bond.
- NBA playoff action continues tonight. The Spurs are in Memphis to take on the Grizzlies, Portland and Dallas take the court, and the Thunder try to win the series against Denver.
- In the NHL – some awesome games last night. Chicago has come back from losing the series three games to none to tie it up with their victory in overtime against Vancouver. The Predators have eliminated the Ducks…and Philly forces a game 7 against Buffalo after they beat Buffalo in OT. 2 games tonight…The Penguins try and eliminate the Lightning and then the Sharks try to do the same to the Kings.
- Remember Antone Dodson? Well he was the AutoTune Rapin’ Errbody Up In Here guy….well – he was NOW picked up for marijuana charges in Alabama.
- Flava Flav is getting out of the Fried Chicken business in Iowa…but he’s getting out of the biz because of shady financial business practices and some outdated potato salad. He plans on opening something called, Flava Flav’s House of Flava in Vegas. Neato!
- The Royal wedding is this week. It cost $45 million dollars to put this a-hole ceremony on. $32 million is just for security. Tax payers in England are the ones funding this nightmare.
- Paul Reisers Show….Canceled.
- Bret Michaels is now having a massive eye issue. He’s having a huge health crisis. Dude sucks at living right now.
LATE NIGHT TV:
David Letterman: Bill Maher, Cote de Pablo, Lupe Fiasco
Jay Leno: Christina Aguilera, Paul Reiser, Alison Krauss & Union Station featuring Jerry Douglas
Jimmy Kimmel: Martin Short, Kat Dennings, Alter Bridge
Craig Ferguson: Wanda Sykes, Kevin McKidd (R 3/10/11)
Jimmy Fallon: Daniel Radcliffe, Aly Michalka, Darius Rucker
Carson Daly: Emmy Rossum, Jeff Tremaine, Sarah Lee Guthrie & Johnny Irion (R 4/6/11)
Conan O’Brien: Nigel Marven, Gary Oldman, Drive-By Truckers (R 3/1/11)
Lopez Tonight: Justin Bieber, Diane Kruger, Jim Jeffries (R 2/15/11)
Actor Al Pacino is 71.
Actress Talia Shire is 65.
Actor Jeffrey DeMunn (The Green Mile) is 64.
Actor Hank Azaria (The Simpsons) is 47.
Actress Gina Torres (I Think I Love My Wife) is 42.
Actress Renee Zellweger is 42.
THEE Joe Buck is 42
Actor Jason Lee (My Name Is Earl, Almost Famous) is 41.
Actor Jason Wiles (Third Watch) is 41.
Actress Allisyn Ashley Arm (Sonny With A Chance) is 15.
Charlene Aspen -38 – today’s birthday whore has been blown out more than the windows at St. Louis Lambert airport in 154 fine films including:
- 71 Cheerleader Orgy
- Bj Adventures of Dr. Fellatio.
- Bumpin Donuts
- Sluts of the Nile
- Creme De La Face 35
- Deep Pink 2
- Los Putas De New York
TUESDAY :In Russia, a dude was hanging out with his friends getting drunk. They started talking about boxing. One guy said Tyson was the best. His buddies said the Klitschko brothers were the best. His friends said that the Tyson guy wasn’t being a true Russian. Well they started fighting…and the Tyson fan decided to stab it out with one of the guys. One guy took off and got away..but the other DIED! He was arrested for murder! TOTAL FOREIGN HOOSHE!
WEDNESDAY: There was a party going down when some hoosier threw a smoke bomb into the party. Well – it was a party that celebrated Adolf Hitler and The Start of The Civil War….The smoke bomb added just a little bit of a rainer on the party as people had to be evacuated and no suspects were seen fleeing the seen. The description given to cops was very vague. A birthday party for Hitler? That alone is MEGA HOOSHE!
THURSDAY: Cops busted a man for burglarizing a home and taking more than 100 frozen dinners. 47-year-old Glenn Byers loaded up a baby stroller belonging to the victim to transport 110 frozen TV dinners. Besides the stroller and frozen food, officers say Byers took a tote bag full of comic books, kids toys and a battery charger from a shed and carport outside the home. Byers told police he was going to give his friend the dinners to repay a debt he owed the friend. He also said he thought the location was abandoned.
FRIDAY: 23 year old Chuck R. Daniels was arrested and charged with urinating in public after he decided to relieve himself on a the car…of a state trooper. Now – Chuck was arrested earlier in the day and when he was released…he found the cop car…and decided it would be sweet pee revenge. Peeing on a cop car as retaliation? That’s 100% HOOSHE!
WINNER: THE NAZI BIRTHDAY PARTY WINS THE TITLE!
WHATS THE WEIRDEST THING YOU’VE SEEN THIS WEEKEND?: