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Today’s Anthem: HENDRIX!
WE TALKED ABOUT JACKED UP STONE TODAY ON THE SHOW…DO YOU REMEMBER HIM? WE SURE AS HELL DO…
WHAT MADE RIZ LAUGH TODAY?! Check the 9AM PODCAST….((I HAVE A ROBOT VAGINA…))
THIS ALLLLLWAYS GETS RIZZ TO LAUGH:
WE ALL THOUGHT THAT OSAMA BIN LADEN’S CODE NAME WAS “GERONIMO”…BUT THAT WAS JUST THE CODE FOR HIM BEING FOUND. HIS ACTUAL SEAL CODE NAME? CRANK SHAFT! THAT’S AWESOME!
1. The Pig Farmer
2. Artificial Hip-sters
3. Bottom Bitch (The Mayor endorses)
Here is today’s DISCOUNT NEWS. Remember – these stories may be a few days old…but if you haven’t heard it – it’s news to you!
- Back on June 9th – a dude in New York was eating a piece of left over pizza….and he tasted something that wasn’t pizza. It was a BRIGHT BLUE BANDAGE WITH DRIED BLOOD ON THE GAUZE PART! GOO! This dude tried to keep things private – but they stopped returning his calls and his emails…so he went to the media. A pizza Hut company spokesman said they are looking into the incident.
- In crime news, two tractor trailer trucks filled with $150,000 worth of nacho cheese and frozen turkey were stolen at a gas station in Florida. Police eventually tracked them down to a travel plaza in Texas where they were found stripped of all their electronics…HOWEVER – all the turkey and nacho cheese were left in tact.
- Last weekend in Texas a woman was found murdered and dismembered. She had two sons she was raising alone and they are DEF not going back to their dad. This dude basically rapped and recorded a confession to the murdering of this women. It’s really really really bad! Wow…like terrible.
- A 20 year old dude in England was a hardcore gamer…he loved Halo. His folks said he would stand in front of the TV for like 12 hours at a time. And during one of these sessions…he complained he didn’t feel good…stood up…passed out…and died.
- The Cardinals lost to the Brewers in Milwaukee last night 6-2. The two teams play again tonight – first pitch is scheduled for 7:10pm. Yesterday – here in STL, a 100 pound 2 foot by 4 foot piece of metal fell off of Busch Stadium. No one has said how it happened; just that it was a decorative piece that was on the outside of the stadium. Building officials are looking into the damage and testing the structures.
- Yesterday – Randy Moss announced his retirement. His agent said that he had received some offers from NFL teams but in the end decided to retire. A couple NFL analysts are saying that we could see a team pick him up later in the season, but as of now – Moss retires tied for second on the all time touchdown list.
- Another blow in the case of the San Francisco Giants fan who was beaten into a coma on Opening Day. A key witness who was scheduled to testify…died over the weekend after he had an allergic reaction after eating a salad that had nuts in it. However – another witness has said that the two men who jumped the fan – repeatedly hit him even though he was knocked out cold.
- And finally – Chris Chelios, Keith Tkachuk, and Gary Suter were all selected for this years U.S Hockey Hall of Fame.
- The Kings of Leon have canceled the rest of their U.S Tour because of the lead singers “exhaustion, fatigue, and voice problems.”
- Remember the oak tree and the end of The Shawshank Redemption? Well – a wind storm has severely damaged the tree and the owners don’t know if they are going to save it or cut it down.
- You gotta check out this article about Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt. It’s so funny. It pretty much rips them apart. Check out the full article clicking HERE.
- Check out the top 10 paid actors of 2011….CLICK HERE.
–“Letterman” – Ricky Gervais (“Spy Kids: All the Time in the World in 4D”) and “So You Think You Can Dance” host Cat Deeley. Music Guest: Explosions in the Sky.
–“Conan” – Olivia Wilde (“Cowboys & Aliens” and “The Change-Up”) and Shaquille O’Neal (“Inside the NBA”). Music Guest: Seether.
–“The Tonight Show” – Katie Holmes and your 2011 Wimbledon Champion Novak Djokovic. Music Guest: Mat Kearney.
–“Jimmy Kimmel” – Hank Azaria (“The Smurfs”) and Jim Sturgess (“One Day”). Music Guest: Gavin DeGraw.
–“Craig Ferguson” – Kristen Bell (“Gossip Girl”), Eddie Izzard (“United States of Tara”) and Jean Reno.
–“Jimmy Fallon” – Dianna Agron (“Glee: The 3D Concert Movie”) and Danny McBride (“30 Minutes or Less”). Music Guest: Sergio Mendes.
–“Carson Daly” – Dave Zirin (author of “Bad Sports”), and writer Dan Harmon (“Community”). Music Guest: Mini Mansions. (REPEAT)
–“Lopez Tonight” – Tom Felton (“Rise of the Planet of the Apes”), plus comedians Kathy Griffin and Lavell Crawford. Music Guest: 2Cellos.
–Sam Worthington – 35
–Hallie Eisenberg – 19
–Edward Furlong – 34
–Jacinda Barrett – 39
–Kevin Smith – 41
–Mary-Louise Parker – 47
–Butch Patrick – 58
–Max Wright – 68
–Wes Craven – 72
–Peter O’Toole – 79
Gen Padova – 30 – today’s birthday girl has looser slots than the Casino Queen in 199 fine films including:
- Swallow The Leader
- Honey We Blew Up Your Vagina
- Bathroom Bitches
- Toss My Salad Vol 1-7
- American Gunk
- I Was Tight Yesterday Vol 3
- Face Sprayers Vol 2
- Donkey Punch
- Mouth Meat 2
- Inseminated By 2 Black Men
+ There was an episode of Mythbusters that proved you couldn’t explode a porta-potty from lighting a cigarette….wells it actually happened to a dude in Australia. Seriously. Check out the Mythbusters video by clicking HERE.
+ This dude got his house broken into and the robber smeared peanut butter and jelly all over the place. On the floors, the furniture AND EVEN THE DUDE’S DOG!
+ A dude tripped over his cat and stabbed himself in the chest. SUCKS!
+ A woman was drunk at home…made her come outside…and then arrested her for public intoxication. Well – after they shoved her in the drunk tank…they found out she was a STROKE VICTIM!
+ THIS IS AWESOME!
+ A dude was working at Ground Zero and ended up with cancer for toxic debris and got a $10,000 reward. But after legal expenses and liens…he received a check…for $0.
+ A man in Arizona was jogging with his friend and a truck came hauling ass down the street and the passenger threw something out the window and hit him right in the nuts….what did they throw? A PADLOCK! OOFAH!
+ A dude tried to donate blood and plasma but was turned away because he “seemed like he was gay.” One problem: the dude wasn’t gay….THAT SUCKS!
Police responding to a report of a naked man outdoors in South Philadelphia made a gruesome discovery – a house full of dozens of hoarded animals from an alligator to a tarantula, some alive but most dead. Authorities who entered the “filthy, horrible” row house found 25 animals including an iguana, chickens, domesticated rats, turtles, dogs and a cat, a spokeswoman for the Pennsylvania SPCA said on Wednesday.
GOTT GAME WITH STEVE MANBALLS MASTERS!
CHECK THE 9AM PODCAST FOR GOTTGAME WITH MASTERS. Check out his website by clicking HERE.
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