NINJA STICKER C/O WOODY AND RIZZUTO
401 S. 18th St
St. Louis, MO 63103
Today’s Anthem: Cop Crooner
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WANNA GET AMPED UP?! THIS SHOULD HELP!
ACTUALLY GOOD PEOPLE IN THE WORLD?!
Check this out…it happened in Utah where a guy on a motorcycle got hit by car and the bike caught on fire with the guy trapped underneath the car. So people standing around lifted the car off the man….crazy video. Check it out:
MIDGET PORNO DWARF EATEN BY BADGERS
A dwarf porno actor who looks just like chef Gordon Ramsey…was found dead and partially devoured in a badger den. He was 35 years old and was found in the den before they gassed it. Perhaps suicide? Someone who knew him was quoted as saying, “He was a little guy with big problems.”
1. The Terminator
2. Joe-y & The Pussycats
3. Undercover Brother
- Recently – a dude in China went to a spa where LIVE EELS were used to eat dead skin. Gross. Well, as this dude was getting his treatment…a small eel had gone into the end of his penis. He said he tried to grab it and pull it out – but the eels disappeared up his penis. Holy crap. Seriously, this makes me want to throw up. Surgeons took three hours to remove it and say the dude should make a full recovery.
- The 8 Beers that Americans No Longer Drink? Well – it technically should be “8 Beers That Americans No Longer LOVE..” Here is the list:
2. Michelob Light
3. Bud Select
4. Milwaukee’s Best
5. Old Milwaukee
6. Miller Genuine Draft
7. Milwaukee Best Light
- The San Bernardino Department of Public Health found that neighborhoods with more liquor stores often have crime rates. Not only that – but stories that have more cooler space devoted to single serve booze has more crime. Ya know…rockin’ 40′s.
- Parent of the Year Nominee: This German couple wanted to go to a concert but they couldn’t find a babysitter. And they brought their 8 month old kid with them. And….then put the infant in the TRUNK OF THEIR CAR! The mother is saying people are making this a much bigger deal then it really is.
- The Cards beat the Pirates last night 6-4, but so did the Braves & Brewers so no movement in either race….during last night game Albert had THREE errors. He’s only got 14 errors all season…but THREE of them from last night alone? Crazy! Speaking of crazy…Matt Holliday may now miss the rest of the season from a hand injury he got last night. He got hurt as he was swinging the bat in the on deck circle.
- Other MLB news…Yankees closer Mariano Rivera became the 2nd picture in history to reach 600 saves. He’s now only one game behind the all time record held by former MLB’er Trevor Hoffman. Another milestone set in the AL last night – Tim Wakefield recorded his 200th win as a pitcher. The Red Sox also gained a game over the Rays and now are 4 games up in the AL Wild Card.
- So all scandals aside, college students who play football and basketball – don’t get paid. They get scholarships – which are close – but they don’t get any money. But this year especially its one of the most talked about things. Should they get paid? Well Drexel University did a study that looked at average salaries of coaches, the average amount rookies in the NFL/NBA are getting paid – and figured it out. A football player in at a major school should make around $120,000 a year while a basketball player should make around $265,000 a year. Talk all you want, I don’t see college athletes getting paid anytime soon though.
A man in southern Mississippi is accused of trying to walk out of a D’Iberville grocery store without paying for food items he’d stuffed into his cargo shorts including live lobsters. Police Chief Wayne Payne says 35-year-old Nathan Mark Hardy was arrested Saturday after allegedly being caught stuffing food into his cargo shorts – two bags of jumbo shrimp, a pork loin and two live lobsters. Payne says Hardy, of Biloxi, tried to escape by throwing the pork loin at employees at the local Winn Dixie but fell while running away. He was arrested at the scene. The shoplifting charge is a misdemeanor, but Hardy remained jailed Wednesday in the Harrison County jail with no bond pending a hearing on a probation violation.
- Kate Gosselin is a smug ass bitch. She’s trying to find what to do after her show got canceled. Her ex husband tried to give her advice and get a real job – but she says she wants to give her kids the best that they deserve and that reality TV is the way to get that. I seriously hope her next job is catching bullets with her teeth.
- The top 5 shows over the weekend? All NFL related. FOOTBALL IS BACK BITCHES!
- The Entourage Series Finale brought in $2.6 million dollars….it was the most watch episode ever.
WHOSE iPOD? PATRICO!
BITCH BE TRIPPIN:
- Last weekend a woman from Long Island called Southwest Airlines customer service line and told them she was going to BLOW UP A PLANE that was coming from Arizona. She wasn’t serious….but to her there was a good reason: Her mother and brother were gonna be on that flight. Why did she do it? She confessed, saying it was because she didn’t want to have her mother and brother flying on 9.11. BBT!
- A 24 year old woman from Fairview Heights turned herself in because she had an outstanding warrant for her arrest. When the police searched her purse for security reasons before taking her to jail they found heroin on her. IDIOT!
- A woman in Florida claimed to be a vampire has been charged with battery after policy say she violently bit a man in a wheelchair. He claims the woman came up to him and said: “I’m a vampire…I am going to eat you.”