FRIDAY SHOW BLOG (12/02/2011)

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Today’s Anthem: COACH HELPING ANTHEM

FRUITBOX CHALLENGE RECAP:

10. Sixpence None The Richer – Kiss Me
9. Aqua – Barbie Girl
8. Plain White T’s – Hey There Delilah
7. NSync – Bye Bye Bye
6. NSync – God Must Have Spent A Little More Time On You
5. Ricky Martin – Livin La Vida Loca
4. Justin Bieber – Baby
3. Glorida Gaynor – I Am What I Am
2. Elton John – Candle In The Wind
1. Owl City – Fireflies

FOOD NEWS:

  • Earlier this month – Congress lifted a ban on slaughtering horses for human consumption.  Apparently there isn’t any butchers in the country that specifically slaughter horses for meat consumption…but there will be soon! 
  • This is pretty swoot….Subway will be selling the cold cut trio and the meatball sub for 2 dollars for a six inch sub.  That’s pretty god damn awesome.  SUBWAY FOR EVERYONE!

JUST BECAUSE:

Check out this kid who hates Tom Brady

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  • Adam Corolla got all fired up about the Occupy Wall Street and the Pussification of America.  Check out the audio HERE…but just to let you know it’s NSFW…It’s filled with cursing. 
  • VH1 is counting down the Top 40 Winningiest Winner of 2011…and they actually revealed that Courtney Stodden is one of those winners.  Wait – are you effing serious?  We hate that bitch…what a tard.


CRAPPY BIRTHDAYS:
Britney Spears is 30
Aaron Rodgers is 28
Monica Seles is 38
Brendan Fraiser is 43
Lucy Lu is 43
Stone Phillips is 57
Anna Chlumsky is 31
Montell Jordan is 43
Julianne Moore is 51
Daryl Hannah is 51
Rick Mears is 60
Ozzy Osbourne is 63
Tyra Banks is 38
Jay Z is 42
Fred Armisen is 45
Marissa Tomei is 47
Jeff Bridges is 62
Wink Martindale is 77

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  • Gianna Lynn – 27 – Today’s birthday girl has spent more time on hardwood than Michael Jordan in 194 fine films including:
    • Asian Sex Objects
    • Slant Eye For The Straight Guy Vol 2
    • Slanted Holes Vol 3
    • Me Luv You Long Time Vol 9
    • Oh! Me So Horny Vol 4
    • Mr. Chews Asian Beaver Vol 4

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Kenneth Milosavich, a 55-year-old Colorado man was jailed Saturday after a woman allegedly caught him performing oral sex on her dog. According to Pueblo police, officers were dispatched to a woman’s home at around noon on Saturday after a woman called to complain that a man was in her backyard performing oral sex on her dog. Investigators say Milosavich performed oral sex on the female dog and then began pleasing himself in front of the dog. When police arrived on the scene, Milosavich had already fled to a nearby bar.  Officers tracked him to the bar where he was found to be in possession of crack cocaine. He was booked into the Pueblo jail on charges of animal cruelty, indecent exposure, possession of crack cocaine and drug possession. Court records indicate Milosavich was arrested on sex charges in 2004.

  • In Seattle an elderly man walked into a Sears store and gave an envelope addressed, “Sears manager,” to the customer service department.  When the manager opened it he found a note and $100 bucks.  The note said, “During the late 40′s I stole some money from the cash register.  I want to pay you back.   The manager says that they plan on using the money to help needy families for Christmas.
  • Check this out…HELLA people are shoplifting…One out of every 11 people walking into a store are shop lifting!  Retailers are expecting to lose around $119 BILLION DOLLARS!  3% are pros and 70% of shoplifters don’t PLAN on stealing something.  75% of shop lifters are adults.  35% are from some sort of an employee. Most common items ganked from stores?
    • Filet Mignon
    • Expensive Liquors
    • Small Electric Tools
    • iPhones
    • Gillette Mach 4 Razors
    • AXE Body Spray
    • POLO
    • Let’s Rock Elmo
    • Chanel No. 5
    • Nikes
WE ASKED YOU GUYS WHAT ARE SOME OF THE THINGS THAT YOU’VE STOLEN?!

  • Baseball fans rejoice….the Winter meetings start next week and today – single game all inclusive Cardinals tickets go on sale at 10AM.  2012 Ticket packs will go on sale NEXT Friday at 10…and you can get a 10-game Opening Day Pack for around $150. 
  • The Blues are back in action tonight as they head to Colorado to take on the Avalanche.  Puck drops at 8:00PM and you can see the game on Fox Sports Midwest.
  • We will chat more NFL with Ravey during the Beat A Woman segment but last night’s game between the Seahawks and the Eagles was pretty one sided – and not in the favor of Philly.  Marshawn Lynch and the Seahawks dominated the Eagles beating them 31-14.  Philly back up QB Vince Young?  The man who coined the term the “Dream Team?”  He threw four picks in the loss.
  • Yesterday the Redsox introduced Bobby Valentine as the teams new manager.  The 61 year old said that the talent on the team is a gift to anyone and he’s the receiver of the great gift.  He has coached the Mets, Rangers, and spent some time in Japan before turning to the broadcast booth.  Valentine replaces Terry Francona after the epic collapse of the team at the end of this past season.
  • And Finally – Penn State President Rodney Erickson said that they school will donate $1.5 million dollars in Big Ten bowl proceeds to two sex crime organizations instead of the money going back to the program.  The two advocacy groups who will get the funds are Pennsylvania Coalition Against Rape AND the National Sexual Violence Resource Center.

FRIDAY FAIL STORIES:

  • An 86 year old dude from Illinois was deep frying turkeys for an event at his local country club.  As he approached the fryer, he tripped, and he knocked into the fryer and spilled the fryer right onto his leg.  HE DEEP FRIED HIS OWN DAMN LEG! FAIL!
  • A man in Texas had to be rescued by firefighters this week after getting stuck in his chimney.  Officials say he locked his keys in the house and was trying to get in through the chimney while his wife and child waited outside.  His wife called 911 and firefighters lowered a rope down the chimney and pulled the man back up.  FAIL!
  • CHECK OUT THIS SANTA FAILURE AT THE MALL!
  • A guy in Tampa stole a 17 foot crab boat last Tuesday…then had to call 911 for help when it ran out of gas in the middle of sea.  He got rescued then arrested!  FAIL!
  • Earlier this week this dude in Oregon was at home when a squirrel ran up his left leg.  No word on how the squirrel got into his house – but the man had his rifle on him and decided to shoot it off his leg.  You can see where this is going.  He missed and shot himself in the foot.  
  • In Washington, a guy picked up this chick at a bar.  They had some drinks and then went to hook up.  After the sex was over – the chick said something along the lines of “I GOT AIDS!” The dude – then shot her in the head.  The woman – who survived – got a friend to drive her to the hospital and it turned out…she was just joking.  FAIL!
  • A 23 year old just set a world record for dirt jumping on a BMX bike.  HUZZAH! At a bar when he was celebrating..he tried to jump from the balcony into a pool.  He missed and landed on his head…AND DIED! FAIL!
  • A 17 year old in Orlando disappeared…and then later called his dad and said they people who kidnapped him were demanding $50,000.  The father did not pay.  2 days later the 17 year old and another guy were caught at a Budget Inn.  They made up the whole thing.  FAIL!
  • A guy in Florida broke into an apartment and trashed it.  He thought it was his ex-girlfriends…but it wasn’t.  FAIL!
  • In Connecticut, a candidate lost an election due to a typo on the ballot.  Turns out, they used the wrong middle initial when they printed his name, so his adult son actually got the most votes for the position.  The son does NOT want the job – but the state may swear him in anyway!  FAIL!
  • Last week this dude got a hotel room and called an escort service to have a prostitute sent over.  And then the hooker walked in – and he was shocked to see it was his 20 year old daughter.  AWKWARD!  The dad passed out and then later dad forgave the daughter – then told the wife – who forgave them both….FAIL!

BEAT A WOMAN – NFL WEEK 13
RAVEY (9-3) VS. TY

 THURSDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL
Eagles at Seahawks
                           ((RAVEY/PHILLY  TY PICKS SEATTLE)) TY ALREADY GETS THE POINT!

SUNDAY NIGHT GAME
Lions at Saints–                                ((BOTH PICK N.O))
Suh’s appeal hearing about his 2-Game Suspension is this afternoon

 RAVEY TOTAL POINTS: 61
TY TOTAL POINTS: 73

Titans at Bills                                     ((RAVEY PICKS BUF // TY PICKS TENN))
–The “No Fun League” fines Bills WR Stevie Johnson $10,000 for Fake Shooting himself in the leg as part of a Touchdown Celebration against the Jets

Bengals at Steelers                            ((BOTH PICK PITT))

 Broncos at Vikings                            ((BOTH PICK DEN))

Panthers at Buccaneers–                  ((BOTH PICK CAR))
–Bucs QB Josh Freeman struggling because he injured his thumb at the Gun Range

Packers at Giants                              ((BOTH PICK G.B))

MONDAY NIGHT GAME
Chargers at Jaguars–                        ((BOTH PICK S.D))
–Jacksonville fires Head Coach Jack Del Rio and the team is going to be sold

 LOCK OF THE WEEK
RAVEY: New England over the Colts
TY: Cowboys over the Cardinals

OTHER GAMES:
Rams at 49ers           
                        ((BOTH PICK S.F))
Raiders at Dolphins                           ((BOTH PICK OAK))
Chiefs at Bears                                  ((BOTH PICK CHI))
Falcons at Texans                              ((BOTH PICK ATL))
Jets at Redskins                                ((BOTH PICK NYJ))
Ravens at Browns                              ((BOTH PICK BAL))


About war1057

Woody and Rizzuto: Insensitivity Training For A Politically Correct World. Class is in session Mon-Fri 6am-10am (central). Stream live: http://1057thepoint.com
This entry was posted in Comedy, Epic, Funny, Radio. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to FRIDAY SHOW BLOG (12/02/2011)

  1. Dzurick says:

    Where can I find the chucky chucky cheese for my bday song?

  2. Matt says:

    where can you find that chuck e cheese birthday song?

  3. Jason says:

    OK come on guys…… u can’t play that Chuck E Cheese birthday song and NOT have it on here!

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