JUST A HEADLINE: A 25 year old employee of a tree timming company was killed when a 4 foot, 70 pound branch fell 40 feet and hit him as he was working at the Sky Farm Nudist Club in New Jersey….actual headline: “Man Killed By Wood At Nudist Camp”
52-year-old Henry Wolf filed a lawsuit against BMW in San Francisco last week . . . because he claims riding their motorcycle has left him in a state of arousal for the past 20 MONTHS. It’s not that he loves the bike that much. It’s because a four-hour ride on his 1993 model cycle compressed nerves in his groin and left him with a case of priapism. Priapism is the condition they always warn you about in those commercials for Viagra or Cialis . . . you know: A state of arousal that last for more than four hours. But in Henry’s case, it’s lasted for nearly TWO YEARS. Henry’s suing for more than $25,000 for lost wages, medical expenses, and damages, because the problem has left him impotent. But BMW says Henry wasn’t using the original seat that came with the motorcycle. Henry’s also suing the company that made the seat.
A high school sophomore supposedly cheated on homework. He was kicked out of his honors English class, and his father doesn’t deny the cheating occurred. But that’s not where it ends; that’s where it starts. A dad is suing California’s Sequoia Union High School District in response to his son’s demotion to regular English. Honors class members kept journals and four students apparently shared entries, copying them from one another despite an academic honesty pledge they signed informing them cheating was grounds for removal from the class. The mother of the student in question also signed the pledge. Berghouse claims his son’s removal violates due process and the punishment is too severe. He also asserts the school is in violation of its own plagiarism policy, which provides for dismissal after the second offense.
Emily Herx, a former English teacher at St. Vincent de Paul School in Fort Wayne, Indiana, is suing the school and the Archdiocese of Fort Wayne-South Bend after she was fired due to receiving in vitro treatments. Herx says that she lost her job in 2011 after the school’s priest, Msgr. John Kuzmich, learned that she had begun treatments with a fertility doctor. Kuzmich told her that she was a “grave, immoral sinner” and that it would have been better if she had not discussed her fertility treatments because they could create a “scandal.” According to the complaint, Herx was told that some things are “better left between the individual and God.”
WHO FRIGGIN CARES: Occupy Wall Street protesters are planning demonstrations across the country today…May Day…which is traditionally recognized as International Worker’s Day, hoping it will mark a spring resurgence of the movement. IN addition to calls for a general strike from work, school, banking, and shopping, organizers are also calling for more open immigration laws, expanded labor rights and cheaper financing for higer education….Really…Are we still doing this?!