So normally on Thursdays we only do BITCH BE TRIPPIN…but there have been some many dudes trippin out in the news that we are switching things up. Ladies…you get a free pass…for now. Because w/ today’s DISCOUNT NEWS, we bring to you, PRICKS BE TRIPPIN!
Ladies…enjoy this….you’re off the hook for now….Check out the audio from today’s PRICK BE TRIPPIN SEGMENT HERE:
It’s come to this: police in Georgia say a 21-year-old man allegedly high on bath salts ate his own feces. Matthew Hammond was arrested last week after his mother called authorities to say her son was “walking around out of his mind, armed with a knife,”.When police arrived at the home, Hammond charged at the squad car. “(He) banged on his windows a couple times and actually grabbed onto the latch of the door trying to open it, saying, ‘Come on, come on,’ as if he wanted to fight,” The officer pointed his gun at Hammond, who eventually dropped the knife and was arrested. Hammond later admitted he had smoked marijuana, drank alcohol and snorted “a lot” of bath salts. He also kept saying, “I put the ish on everything.” Which was kind of true…cops found he had doodie in his mouth. REAL LIFE DOODIE! SICK! He was charged with felony obstruction and disorderly conduct.
It’s a GODSEND that this guy is SO STUPID that he ended up off the streets. Last week, 22-year-old Cody Slaughter of Somerton, Arizona applied for a job with U.S. Customs and Border Protection. On the application, there’s a section where they ask if you have any possible past criminal activity to disclose. And Slaughter used that as an opportunity to confess to MOLESTING a young girl eight years ago . . . and to admit that he regularly has SEX with several different species of animals. Border Patrol tipped off the Yuma County Sheriff’s Office about the application. They got a search warrant for Slaughter’s home, and found several pieces of evidence to back up those confessions. Slaughter was arrested for one count of sexual conduct with a minor and three counts of bestiality.
A 29-year-old Brunswick man was taken into protective custody and hospitalized Friday night after Brunswick police found him in the bottom of a portable toilet on a disc golf course on River Road. Officers responded to Enman Disc Golf just before 6 p.m. for a report that a naked male was causing a disturbance on the golf course, Deputy Police Chief Marc Hagan said today. Initially, police could not locate the man, who witnesses said had been rolling in mud, tipping over trash cans and sitting in the disc goals.
We’ve said this before and we’ll say it again. For every couple that’s SAVED by “Fifty Shades of Grey” putting a spark of BONDAGE into their sex life . . . another couple is RUINED. Here’s one that was ruined. Back on June 25th, 31-year-old Raymond Hodgson of Carlisle, England got into a fight with his girlfriend of five years, Emma McCormick. Emma wouldn’t stop reading “Fifty Shades of Grey” . . . and Raymond thought it was pornographic and unrealistic. He went home . . . came back the next day . . . and angrily SQUIRTED HER IN THE FACE with steak sauce. He was arrested and charged with assault. Earlier this week, he pleaded guilty. His lawyer says, quote, “He regrets having done this, realizing how stupid it sounds. He didn’t realize [it] would be classified as an assault.” Raymond and Emma hadn’t really spoken since the incident, but have started talking to each other again.
It’s hard to believe any new father could have judgment THIS poor. But a 29-year-old man from Cottondale, Alabama REALLY does. On Sunday, the man found a prostitute online . . . the cops didn’t say where, but let’s assume it was Craigslist . . . and he arranged to meet her at a motel in Tuscaloosa, Alabama. But the guy couldn’t find someone to watch his nine-month-old baby boy . . . so, IDIOTICALLY, he BROUGHT HIS BABY to the motel to meet the prostitute. Before anything sexual happened, the man and the prostitute argued over payment. They’d apparently agreed to $100 but she wanted more. She called her PIMP who was outside . . . and he came in and actually SHOT at the man. The man grabbed his baby and locked himself in the bathroom. Thankfully, the baby wasn’t hurt . . . and the bullet just grazed the man’s skull. The man is most likely looking at child endangerment charges . . . and the baby is with Child Services.