MONDAY SHOW BLOG-Lux edition XO (11/22/2010)

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Hellllloooo Ninjas! It’s Lux and I’m gonna try my best to fill Patrico’s very big….er shoes. He went to Florida for the weekend and is driving back as we speak, because he’s gotta be at tonight’s MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL at HotShots. I’ve been working since 12am so I’m gonna power through.  If I “Patrico” the blog or podcast well I’m sorry and I’ll fix it ASAP! Now on with the show….

DONNIES WEEK IN RAGE RECAP:

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NINJA STICKER C/O WOODY AND RIZZUTO
401 S. 18th St
St. Louis, MO 63103

 

 Today’s Anthem:

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Here is today’s DISCOUNT NEWS. Remember – these stories may be a few days old…but if you haven’t heard it – it’s news to you!

*NEW NEWS: Rizzuto announced that St. Louis is the #1 Most Dangerous City in the United States! Very Prestigious award, good work..(pause,pause,pause) NOT. The Mayor here in STL wants us to know that crime is actually down 7%, however that still puts us at #1. Anyone else not surprised? I mean did you see that episode of Gangland(History Channel) about the STL gangs??

*A 37 yr old woman was arrested in Idaho for pretending to be a doctor so she could feel up women in bars! Broad would then give them her “professional” opinion and the number to an actual plastic surgery clinic. Turns out the fake doctor lady is a post-op tranny. She is being charged with practicing medicine without a license. She/he could face up to five years in prison.

*Dude in crappy drag sneaks into the women’s locker room at UC Berkley to snap pics on his camera phone,and gets caught! Turns out he doesn’t even go to the school.  Ew… UC Berkley is nothing but liberal,hippie chicks….oh wait I’m sort of a liberal hippie chick.  Oh well dude’s a creepster….nice wig creep-o.

*Study finds people get less aggressive when they see meat. So to skip the family feud please make sure that everyone has a good view of the Turkey. Pita say’s clearly eating meat is “horrible violence” however the view of meat makes us think of the physiological effects of meat…like drowsiness. WTF? I like looking at turkey-I’ll test this out and get back to you!

*High school in VA bans “F”, If a student fails they get an incomplete and if a student cheats they have to retake the test….until the parents threw their weight around and stuff went right back to normal…..sorry kiddies this is the real world.

*Educator  who actually gives a crap…  principal in upstate NY goes to students house to get kid out of bed to get him to school although his heart was in the right place he is now facing trespassing charges as the students parents were not home.

*I don’t watch much TV but on BET there is this show called “106 and Park”. This dance group from Florida was invited to be on the show so they piled into a van to make the 1,000 mile trip to NYC. Traffic caused them to get stuck going through the London Tunnel. The 8 person dance group got out of the van leaving only the driver and starting running on foot. Here’s where this becomes a FAIL STORY…the dancer’s were already in costume which was a Camouflage  get up. Port Authority police and the FBI_NYC joint Terrorism Task force started chasing them,closing the Lincoln Tunnel for 45 minutes. Guess who didn’t get to appear on the show? FAIL!

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*Tonights Monday Night Football game is Broncos in San Diego to play the Chargers. Join Rizz,Patrico and myself for a Monday Night Football party at the FENTON HosShots starting at 7:30p. We’ll be chillin watching the game. Food and drink specials,duh….. oh and prizes!!
*Jimmie Johnson won his 5th Nascar title in a row yesterday. Rizzuto F-ed up the first round of sports-texters determined he “Patrico’d” the sports,haha
*Blues beat the 3 to 2 and it was awesome! Next game is wednesday against the Predators.
*Mizzou shut out Iowa state on Saturday night 14-0…M-I-Z….Z-O-U

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AMA’s we’re last night an Bieber went 4 for 4,At 16yrs old he is the youngest person to win Artist of the Year. Favorite Alternative Band= MUSE….. View complete list of Winners

Wesley Snipes doin time for tax evasion. Two yrs ago when he was sentanced they allowed him to be free while he appealed the conviction. That bird has flown.He’s goin to the big house!

Since it’s the biggest show in the world Rizz felt that he needed to announce that Fox has announced that American Idol is moving to Wednesdays and Thursdays starting on January 19th….if you care,we really don’t.

Harry Potter made $125 Million came out on top this weekend. Making it the fifth biggest opening day of all time was the 61.2 million it pulled in on Friday alone.

This weekend’s movies:

1.Harry Potter

2. Megamind

3.Unstoppable

4.Due Date

5. The Next Three Day’s

Daniel Day Lewis will be playing Abraham Lincoln in a new flick by Stephen Spielberg, we predict bitching over the British actor portraying an American President. People love to bitch!

Dancing with the Stars is being taken to seriously.Last week we talked about the weirdo that shot their TV because they didn’t like Bristol Palin’s dancing. Now it’s been announced that the FBI is checking out a suspicious package containing a white powder so far they think it’s talc powder however they are still running tests. TMZ says the package was sent to Bristol.

 


ON TV:

Monday Night Football…ESPN

“Dancing w. The Stars” and Skating w.The Stars”…ABC

 
LATE NIGHT TV:

“Letterman”-Natalie Portman and  musical guest Jessica Simpson

“Conan”-Christina Aguilara and Zachary Levi from “Chuck”

“Tonight Show”-Talor Swift and Dane Cook

“Jimmy Kimmel” Billy Bob Thorton and Musical Guest: Train

“Craig Ferguson”-Ben Stein

“Jimmy Fallon”-Nascar Champ Jimmy Johnson and chef Bobby Flay


CRAPPY BIRTHDAYS:
-Scarlett Johansson-26
-Karen O (singer for the Yeah Yeah Yeahs)-32
-Mark Ruffalo-43
-Jamie Lee Curtis-52
-Billie Jean King-67
-Terry Gilliam( “Monty Python” writer and animator)-70


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Today’s, Birthday Slut is RACHEL LOVE. She’s gobbled more than an entire turkey in over 90 films including:
Booby Patrol
Hooter Nation
(a movie called) Totally Unprofessional
Look at me,Whore!
Nice Rack 17
and who could forget her Oscar worthy performance in…The Bone Ranger
*Rachel Love is 37
 
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We took votes for the Headline Hooshe of the week from last week:
Nominee #1
Nominee #2
Woman does a dine and dash at Joe’s crab shack. When the police arrived at her house – she said she would be more than happy to get the money from her dresser drawer.  When she reached into the drawer she pulled out what cops said seemed to be a, “clear, rigid, feminine pleasure device.”  Cops say she held it over her head and came out them in a threatening manner.
Nominee #3
Truck dealership promises an AK-47 with every truck purchased. Customers get vouchers for the $400 for the AK-47,however if the customer chooses not to buy the gun the money is put towards the truck.  Most  shoppers choose the GUN.
Nominee#4 ***WINNER***
A man and a wife stole a motorized cart from Wal-mart and drove it to a strip club.  A cop had gotten calls about the two driving the thing on side of the highway.  Where did they go?  You’re right – the boobie palace….and cops waited for him to leave the joint and then arrested them both.  Oh weird – they were both HAMMERED!

Whats up Grandma? Today was a Thanksgiving Edition…check out the podcast for the answer!

Now…it’s time for a nap so I can kick it at Monday Night Football….looking forward to seeing you all at HotShot’s Fenton tonight!

xoxo

Lux

(p.s. if your awake between Midnight and 6am…tune in or friend me on http://www.facebook.com/Luxonpoint)

About war1057

Woody and Rizzuto: Insensitivity Training For A Politically Correct World. Class is in session Mon-Fri 6am-10am (central). Stream live: http://1057thepoint.com
This entry was posted in Comedy, Epic, Funny, Radio. Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to MONDAY SHOW BLOG-Lux edition XO (11/22/2010)

  1. agh says:

    where’s the 6am podcast?

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