Today’s Anthem: Mike Eli from the Eli Young Band – dude…..mega fails!

Holiday Christmas party recap – it was a good time. Some smoking hot sales chick made out with one of Promo guys.    Patrico didn’t show but he’s on crutches…what do you expect?  Rizz won some booze which was nice.  But…that all didn’t matter because this morning Rizz’s car was broken into.  FAIL!

Here is today’s DISCOUNT NEWS. Remember – these stories may be a few days old…but if you haven’t heard it – it’s news to you!

  • An instructor at Kennesaw State University was arrested the other day for quite a different approach to his teaching lesson.  Raymond Taylor decided that the best way to teach his BUSINESS class was to get butt naked and expose himself to a class full of students.  After a member of the class reported the incident the school immediately had Taylor arrested and said that he will NOT be teaching at the University in the future.
  • The FBI is telling folks that they need to be careful when buying the latest Barbie this holiday season.  If you see on your daughters Christmas list, “Barbie Video Girl” – you may want to think twice before buying this toy.  It comes with a small video camera built into it’s necklace that records video up to 30 minutes downloadable to the computer.  Officials are saying that some mega pervs could buy this just as a fun gift – and put it in the young girls’ rooms to record child pornography.  Of course Mattel is saying that no reports have been made of the doll being used in that way…but – just a thought…keep it in mind when buying the “perfect gift.”
  • In Berkley California….there could be holding a hearing against Bradley Manning – a dude who broke all the stuff to WikiLeaks – wait…holding a hearing?  They actually are thinking of making this dude a HERO. Are you KIDDING?!
  • There is a statue that was made of Panda crap that sold for like a ton of money.  Are you kidding?!
  • So there have been a couple of shark attacks in Egypt over the past few weeks and some residents are saying that it’s the Jewish community throwing deadly sharks into the water to slowly take out the population.  Now – reports were coming out that the waters weren’t safe after 5 people died in a span of a week due to attacks – but officials in Egypt say that the deadly shark has been caught.  When asked about the alleged plot of an deliberate attack – Israeli officials said that it’s so ludicrous that they didn’t even want to comment.
  • A school district is considering to allow businesses to buy advertising space on the lockers of the kids
  • Now yearbook photos are going to be able to be doctored so if you have a pimple on picture day…you can get rid of it.  But it’ll cost ya!  Haha!  What a stupid ass idea.
  • A teacher was trying to get pencils and pens banned from the classroom.  She would provide the materials because she was worried that kids were going to try and make weapons out of the pens and pencils.  Are you kidding me?!

  • So a couple of rumors going around the MLB right now.  It looks like OF Carl Crawford will sign with the Boston Red Sox while rival New York Yankees have officially offered P Cliff Lee a $140 million dollar contract.  Neither of the two have agreed to contracts but sources close to both teams say that an announcement could be made early this morning. As for the Cardinals – after yesterday they said they won’t be looking for a back up to Yadi as soon as they thought….
  • Tonight in the NFL, Peyton Manning and the Colts will take on Whoever they can find to put behind center and the Tennessee Titans.  Big game for the Colts lets see if Manning can bounce back after he’s thrown 11 interceptions in the past 3 games!  Game is on the NFL Network. Kick off scheduled for 7:20PM.
  • In some college football news – Urban Meyer announced yesterday that his last game on the Florida Gators sideline will be in the January 1st Outback Bowl against Penn State.  Dude says it’s time to spend more time with his family and be a better father.  Meyer was coach of the gators in both 2006 and 2008 when they won the National Championship.  Now – this is just rumor…but some people are saying a Tebow/Meyer reunion in Denver could be happening.
  • Mizzou Basketball beat Vanderbilt last night.  They currently are ranked 15th in the AP poll and 11th in the ESPN Coaches Poll.
  • And finally…..The Blues are back on the Ice tonight. They take on the Columbus Blue Jackets at the ScottTrade. Puck drops at 7PM.


  • UPDATE: SeaWorld is denying claims that they are using cow vaginas to stimulate killer whales.  A rep said: “If Mr. Lee’s information we are not surprised that it is wrong.”
  • Head to Google and search for it to check out the Christina Aguilera “nude” photos that are circulating. They are kind of hot.  We find out she likes the wood floors and has giant foreals knockers.
  • Devon James is back in the news…why?  She is claiming the Tiger Woods paid her to NOT releases this alleged never to be existing sex tap.  Who knows.  She’s a nightmare.
  • Katy Perry is changing her last name to Brandt.
  • Pete Samprass had some tennis trophies stolen.


David Letterman
Bill O’Reilly, Phosphorescent
Jay Leno: Halle Berry, Billy Gardell, Natasha Bedingfield
Jimmy Kimmel: John Krasinski, Rosemarie DeWitt, Crystal Castles
Craig Ferguson: Lucy Liu, Jody Williams
Jimmy Fallon: Robert Plant
Carson Daly: Henry Rollins, Andrew Zuckerman, Two Door Cinema Club
Conan O’Brien: Sarah Silverman, Dr. Michio Kaku, She & Him
Lopez Tonight: Steve Harvey, the 88

Actor Kirk Douglas is 94
Actor Dick Van Patten is 82.
Actor-writer Buck Henry is 80.
Actress Judi Dench is 76.
Actor Beau Bridges is 69.
Football player-turned-actor Dick Butkus is 68.
Actor John Malkovich is 57.
Singer Donny Osmond is 53.
Actress Felicity Huffman is 48.
Singer-guitarist Jakob Dylan of The Wallflowers is 41.
Actress Allison Smith is 41.
Former American Idol judge Kara DioGuardi is 40.
Drummer Tre Cool of Green Day is 38.
Actor Jesse Metcalfe is 32.

Kimbery Kyle – 42  – rained on more than Al Roker during hurricane season storm coverage in 85 fine films including:
– Creme De La Face
– Escape From Uranus
– Ass Venturna: Crack Detective
– Anal Princess
– Temple Of Poon
– Hookline and Sphincter

From Wisconsin – a dude was sitting on the toilet while he was mega high and mega drunk. His name is Dustin J. Sipple. Cops paid him a little visit after he shot a shotgun shell through the floor in his apartment complex while he was taking a duece.  Cops arrested him and he’s being charged with a ton of things including drug and gun charges.

QUESTION: The Griswold’s in the National Lampoon movies lived in what City??


What TV star did 500,000 people show up to sing at the Berlin Wall? 


– Girl hooked up with a bride while she was the Maid of Honor
– Girl was offered to her friends fiance as a marriage present
– Girl hooked up with her best friend in her mother’s van
– Girl hooked up with her female boss at the company holiday party!


+ A recent study has shown that 0% of families that have two lesbian parents show signs of violence and abuse.  Results were pulled from a VERY small study group but…seems about right.
+  Last week, Lisa Howe was employed as the women’s soccer coach at Belmont University.  Well that was until she resigned.  Why?  She says she was pressured into leaving after telling school administrators that she and her same-sex partner were going to have a baby.  A player on the team said that Howe asked officials from the school if she could tell her team and was ignored.  Finally – she just went ahead and told them. That’s when the Athletic Director said that she violated university policy about sexual orientation.  He calls it similar to the “Don’t Ask – Don’t Tell Policy.” Well the faculty, staff, and students are now all standing behind Howe and demanding that she be rehired and for a change in the school’s policy.


– His mom sold his daughters to a crack dealer
– A dude went to high school with siblings that had a kid together ((WINNER))
– A guy got 3 DUI’s and built a bar in his front yard to avoid getting any more tickets.
– A girl’s friend’s sister is together with her mothers uncle…((what?))

About war1057

Woody and Rizzuto: Insensitivity Training For A Politically Correct World. Class is in session Mon-Fri 6am-10am (central). Stream live:
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