There are two things that tick me off more than this ice and the terrible road conditions.  That’s the people that drive like it’s the Dayton 500 OR the people who drive like they are traveling on the ice at the Scott Trade. If you drive normal with just a little be more caution – you’ll be fine.  Take it easy.  Get where you are going – and if you slide in a ditch – at least turn it on the show and laugh your ass off.

Today’s Anthem: The Mr. James Hendrix

Here is today’s DISCOUNT NEWS. Remember – these stories may be a few days old…but if you haven’t heard it – it’s news to you!

  • A woman filed a lawsuit that would allow her to visit her dog after they got a divorce. Well – the husband wanted to end the visitation – and the courts have decided…..a pet is NOT a person and it is considered property.
  • The Swedes are crazy.  They are trying to pass a law that would make it legal to have incest.  Gross!
  • A woman was working at Wendy’s and couldn’t hear the chick ordering.  So she asked her to speak up.  So she was yelling – like not yelling at her…but yelling.  So the Wendy’s broad starts YELLING AT HER PISSED.  She then left the Wendy’s and ripped out her weave and punched the woman in the face.
  • The ACLU is saying that there is a right to curse at the right time.  People have been thrown in jail after cursing towards cops or by cops.  Well the ACLU now saying profanity is protected by obscenity is NOT.
  • The Center for Science and the Public Interest has sued McDonalds because the toys sold in Happy Meals are deceptive to children and America.
  • Free Store in Canada? People pay 2 bucks to drop off unwanted stuff and then the public can come in and grab whatever they want for free.  Last week – the owner found 2 dudes had kicked out the front door and were trying to STEAL FREE STUFF!  WTF?!
  • Police busted 2 dudes in Mississippi with stolen stuff in their truck.  The truck was impounded pending an investigation.  One of the investigator got suspicious when a dude was acting nervous.  So they set up kind of like a Baitcar scenario.  The two retards break into police garage and try and remove bags of weed from the side panels.
  • A dude in 5th grade stole $10,000 from his grandparents and started giving it away to all his friends.  WOULDN’T YOU JUST WANT TO KILL THIS KID?!


  • Well the Blues are good at something this year……too bad it’s losing. They lost to the Redwings last night, final score was 5 to 2. The Blues are back in town tonight. They take on the Kings at the Scott Trade. It’s another Point/Blues Student night……bring your student ID down to the Scottrade Center box office for a discounted ticket. All the info on Face off tonight is at 7PM……you can see the game on Fox Sports Midwest.
  • After trailing by almost 15 with less than 20 minutes to go – SLU rallied to beat Jacksonville last night 69-64.  Mizzou takes on Oral Roberts tonight…SEXY.
  • Another update from the NFL and the Jets “Tripgate” as they are calling it.  The Jet’s strength and conditioning coach who earlier this week they announced would be suspended for the rest of the season and fined $25,000 has had his suspension upped to suspended INDEFINITELY. It turns out that he ordered players to line up like that on the sideline.  Reports are that a couple players ratted him out saying they would hope someone would do the same if a guy had tried to trip them. Look for the announcement soon that this dude is SOOOOOO fired. There is an actual game tonight in the NFL.  San Francisco takes on San Diego.
  • Woody – even though it is 12 years away, I have your first Qatar World Cup update.  First – a little history of Qatar.  Apparently there are actual laws on the books making it illegal to be homosexual over there. But – don’t let that stop you from coming to the games in 2022.  The president of Qatar said they are more than welcome to come to the games however, “QUOTE I would refrain from any sexual activities.” He later went on to say he was kidding and hopes the 2022 games are open and free and as entertaining as possible ……In Qatar…..
  • And finally – Some sad news out of baseball.  Hall of Fame pitcher Bob Feller died from leukemia last night.  Feller pitched 18 seasons with the Indians and recorded a total of 266 wins! Bob Feller was 92 years old.

– Mark Zuckerberg was named the Time Person of the Year. Zuckerberg is the dude who created Facebook. Dude is worth $6 Billion dollars.  He’s 26 years old.  What an a-hole.
– The guy who plays Dexter – Michael C. Hall – it’s going to get creepy.  He is banging his costar and just divorced his other co-star.  It’s a whole Dexter Threesome.  What a cluster eff.
– Michael Vick cannot own a dog ever again.  But – he wants to own a pet.  He says having a pet in the household could help him.
– Lindsay Lohan is 100 days sober.


David Letterman: Matt Damon, Florence and the Machine
Jay Leno: Jason Segel, Adam Ferrara, Tanner Foust & Rutledge Wood, Katharine McPhee
Jimmy Kimmel: Jeff Bridges, Diddy
Craig Ferguson: Seth Green, Lena Dunham, Ruth Gerson
Jimmy Fallon: Paul Rudd, Jon Lovitz, Aloe Blacc
Carson Daly: Adam Carolla, Casey Pieretti, School of Seven Bells
Conan O’Brien: Mark Wahlberg, Charles Phoenix, Jenny and Johnny
Lopez Tonight: Justin Timberlake, Stephen Dorff, Ciara


Journalist Lesley Stahl (60 Minutes) is 69.
Singer-guitarist Billy Gibbons of ZZ Top is 61.
William Perry is 48
Actor Benjamin Bratt (Law and Order) is 47.
Singer Michael McCary of Boyz II Men is 39.
Flo-Rida is 31.

Sabrina Dawn – 39  – We’re not sure but it looks like she has an egg nog mustache is 83 fine films including:
– Tight Tushies
– Jungle Beaver
– Hunt for Pink October
– Behind You All The Way
– City Lickers
– Lay Lady Lady
– Grand Slam
– Grandma Does Dallas

Today’s headline hooshe comes to us from Mississippi where a dude was caught – naked in a cemetery.  And he gave the best answer to cops why he was nude in the graveyard.  He said he was trying to take photos of spirits.  He said he got naked because he believes skin is the best canvas to show spirits orbs of energy.  He said he was going to just take of his shirt but decided to get butt naked.  He was charged with vandalism and bonded himself out at $500 bucks!

ROCK TRIVIA: What country is the band Silverchair from?
ANSWER: Australia



#4 – Julie went on a date with her friends BF.  This guy was married – his wife was pregnant – and the friend (the mistress) was pregnant too!
#3 – Nikki’s neighbors had 5 kids and 9 nieces and nephews.  Well the niece is pregnant is with the Aunt’s stepsons baby.  Got it?  We don’t….
#2 – Kate’s neighbor wore Daisy Dukes, flip flops, and cut down a tree with a lawnmower.
#1 – Clayton’s friend married a guy who ended up hookin up with the BEST MAN!  MANACTION! ((WINNER))

A Kansas City lawyer has been disbarred for charging a SOLDIER #3,500 and hour, shouting profanities at clerks, brawling with a security officer and suggesting that the judge is a kid toucher.  What a joke!  One example: this dude actually called the court clerk an “f—ing bitch.” Hey douche…you are SOOOOOO fired.

Here are the 2011 Nominees for the AVN Awards.  Now – we asked you guys to help and we picked our favorites as to who should win. The actual awards show is in January so we will save these and update you when the real winners are announced!  So – THE NOMINEES ARE…… ((The listener, and our picks are bolded out))

Best Non-Sex Performance – Best acting performance by a male or female that does not include sex but could include nudity.

  • Spock Buckton, Delinquents
  • Ryan Driller, Awakening to Love
  • Rod Fontana, WKRP in Cincinnati: A XXX Parody (Rizz and Woody)
  • Dirty Fred, Malice in Lalaland
  • Teddy Zigzag, Sanatorium (Listener Pick)

Best Anal Release – Must have three total in the same series released and two released within the eligibility period.

  • Anal Acrobats 5 (Woody)
  • Anal Fanatic (Rizz)
  • Don’t Tell My Wife I Backdoored the Babysitter 2 (Listener Pick)
  • In Anal Sluts We Trust

Best Feature – A story-based title with a beginning, middle and end tied together by more than just a connecting device.

  • The Devil in Miss Jones: The Resurrection (Woody)
  • Open Invitation: A Real Swinger’s Party in San Francisco
  • Pornstar Superheroes
  • Rawhide 2: Dirty Deeds (Rizz/Listener Pick)

Best All-Girl Couples Sex Scene Best sex scene between two women.

  • Meow!
  • River Rock Women’s Prison (Woody and Rizz)
  • She’s My Man 7 (Patrico)
  • Strapped Dykes

Best Comedy – Title emphasizing a strong comedic element.

  • Couples Camp (Rizz)
  • Kayden & Rocco Make a Porno
  • Supertail and the Evil Wang (Listener Pick)
  • What Went Wrong (Woody)

Best Older Woman/Younger Girl Release Production featuring and marketing young girls (ages 18-21) with Older Women (ages 35-older)

  • Kittens vs. Cougars
  • Horny Black Mothers & Daughters 8 (Rizz)
  • I F’d You and Yo Mama 5 (Listener Pick)
  • If You Wanna F My Daughter You Gotta F Me First 8 (Woody)

Best Foot/Leg Fetish Release – Title that emphasizes foot and/or leg worship or sex acts with feet/legs.

  • Foot Fantasy Freaks
  • F These Feet (Rizz)
  • Magical Feet 8
  • Party of Feet 2 (Listener Pick)
  • Welcome to Footville 4 (Woody)

Best Interracial Series A release marketed as “Interracial” with interracial sex.

  • Diesel Dongs (Woody and Rizz)
  • Housewives Gone Black
  • I Hope That’s Not Yo Daughter (Listener Pick)
  • My New Black Stepdaddy
  • White Kong Dong

Best Solo Release Title featuring all single female masturbation scenes.

  • 2 Nasty Girls Masturbating Volume 16 (Woody and Rizz)
  • All by Myself 4
  • Alone at Last
  • Flying Solo 2
  • Self Service 2 (Listener Pick)

Best Specialty Release – Other Genre Best niche title of any type not specified in another category (i.e. midgets, stocking fetish, wrestling, bukkake, etc.)

  • Asses of Face Destruction 9
  • Ass Worship 4
  • Horny Hairy Girls 35 (Woody and Rizz)
  • Plump Friction (Listener Pick)

Best Specialty Series Must have three total in the same series released and two released within the eligibility period.

  • Buttman’s Stretch Class (Listener Pick)
  • Footsie Babes
  • Handicap Sex (Woody and Rizz)
  • Scale Bustin’ Babes

Best Actor – Best lead acting performance by a male that includes at least one sex scene.

  • Dale DaBone, Batman XXX: A Porn Parody (Woody)
  • Chad Diamond, This Ain’t Glee XXX
  • Tommy Gunn, Rawhide 2: Dirty Deeds (Listener Pick)
  • Mr. Marcus, Savanna’s Been Blackmaled 2 (Rizzuto)

Best Actress – Best lead acting performance by a female that includes at least one sex scene.

  • Kayden Kross, The Perfect Secretary: Training Day
  • India Summer, An Open Invitation: A Real Swinger’s Party in SF,
  • Jessica Drake, 3 Days in June (Rizz)
  • Andy San Dimas, This Ain’t Glee XXX (Woody/Listener Pick)

Clever Title of the Year – Recognizes creative titling, clever parody or just plain outrageous titling of an adult production. Not based on quality of production, simply marketing.

  • All Venus No Penis
  • The Devil Wears Nada
  • The Facesitter from Ipanema (Listener Pick)
  • My Ex-Girlfriend is a Dumb Whore (Rizz)
  • The Notorious P.I.G
  • The Squirt Locker (Woody and Donnie)

About war1057

Woody and Rizzuto: Insensitivity Training For A Politically Correct World. Class is in session Mon-Fri 6am-10am (central). Stream live:
This entry was posted in Comedy, Epic, Funny, Radio. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to THURSDAY SHOW BLOG (12/16/2010)

  1. chris says:

    Patrico 6am podcast is not working.

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