FRIDAY SHOW BLOG (1/21/2011)

Today’s Anthem: Scott Stapp is an ANGEL!

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Here is today’s DISCOUNT NEWS. Remember – these stories may be a few days old…but if you haven’t heard it – it’s news to you!

  • You might know the name Craig Cornett.  Well – he beat up a 75 year old man after they got into a car accident.  He punched him in the head and in the fist.  He hit him so hard and so much that he fell back and hit his head on the car door.  The old man didn’t even fight back.  Witnesses and surveillance video make it seem like he’s mega guilty. Check out his mugshot.
  • A dude from Canada is sleeping in his bed having a nice relaxing night.  When all of a sudden at 3:20AM on Saturday morning he was woken up and noticed a naked woman sliding into bed next to him.  The only problem – this was a woman he had never met before. Cops went to his apartment and found the woman still sleeping.  Was she drunk? YOU BET!  She was taken into to custody to sober up but the man did not wish to press charges.  Cops found out later she lived in the same building but on a different floor.
  • Cops in Utah say a 10 year old boy didn’t want to do his chores.  The boys mom argued with him over doing simple household chores.  Her and the boy shouted back and forth before she walked away from him.  It was when she turned her back that she was STABBED IN THE BACK WITH A PARING KNIFE. She was taken to the hospital for stitches and the boy was placed with other family members.  A prosecuting attorney will decide if the boy will be sent to juvenile or placed with family members permanently.
  • There was the biggest Mafia bust in the history of the country yesterday in 3 states around the New York City area.  Here are some notable names: Andrew Mush Russo, JoJo Corsco, Rock Rockafortier, Hootie Russo, Jello Buckholtz, Meatball, Burger Reynolds, Joey Bandana, Richard the Claw Fusco, Fat Denis, Bobby Glasses, Luigi Baby Shanks, Tony Bagels, Johnny Pizza, Lumpy, The Bull, and Vinny The Carwash.
    • Tony “Cold Ass” Patrico
    • Scott “Leatherchest” Rizzuto
    • Woody “Kneecaps” Fife
    • Want your Mafia name?  Click HERE.
  • Remember the broad in this video? Well – she is now SUING the mall for releasing the video online! Wahhhhh! It’s your own fault bitch.
    • Check out this stupid chick.  PAY ATTENTION!
  • So even though early reports are saying that 2011 shows signs of a pretty good rise when it comes to success of retail shops and other businesses – there are a couple of places you may want to stay clear from. In 2010 – many stores shut down because of their financial struggles.  Here are some more well known businesses that you may see the last of in 2011:
    • Blockbuster: In 2010 955 stores closed which is almost 27% of the total number of stores. They hope the edition of the kiosks (like Redbox) will revive the company
    • Liz Claiborne: In 2010 87 stores closed which is….ALL of them.  They are trying to make things work by selling their stuff on QVC and Jc Penny’s
    • Borders: In 2010 around 200 stores closed which is almost 30% of total stores.  Analysts say that this is a quickly sinking ship.
    • Quiznos: In 2010 around 1,000 stores closed which is right around 23% of the total number of stores.  Some of their failures have been it’s higher pricing compared to Subway but a glimmer of hope could be the small shops they are now incorporating into gas stations.
    • FYE: In 2010 around 99 stores closed which is just shy of 18% of the total number of stores.  Researchers say in the Age of iTunes – DVD and music sales are almost down 20% at FYE.
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  • Even though T.J Oshie scored his first goal since returning from a broken ankle – The Blues lost to the Redwings last night in overtime 4-3.  They next play the Bluejackets at the Scott Trade tomorrow night. Game is scheduled for 7PM.
  • And NFL Conference Championships this Sunday: In the NFC – The Packers head to Chicago to take on the Bears at 2PM – that game can be seen on Fox. And in the AFC, The Jets head to Pittsburgh and take on Woody’s Steelers…that game is at 5:30PM and can be seen on CBS.  Former Mizzou QB Brad Smith will be returning kicks for the Jets after suffering a groin injury that sat him out of last weeks game against the Patriots.
  • For the 25th Year In a Row, NFL Football Is America’s Most Popular Sport:
    • Calling baseball “America’s pastime” is getting to be patronizing at this point.  Because football passed it a long time ago . . . and that ain’t changing anytime soon. The Harris Poll just released their annual list of the most popular sports in the U.S., and for the 25th year in a row, NFL football was number one. When they started this poll in 1985, the margin was tiny.  Pro football got 24% of the votes for favorite sport . . . pro baseball got 23%.  In the most recent survey, in 2010, that margin was 31% for the NFL, 17% for MLB. Baseball still managed to beat out all of the other major U.S. sports.  College football came in third, at 12% . . . auto racing was fourth, at 7% . . . and pro basketball came in fifth, at 6%. Those are followed by hockey . . . men’s soccer . . . men’s college basketball . . . men’s golf . . . track and field . . . bowling . . . men’s tennis . . . boxing . . . horse racing . . . women’s tennis . . . and swimming. Four sports didn’t even get 1% of the vote:  women’s pro basketball, women’s soccer, women’s college basketball, and women’s golf. See…..NOBODY likes weak ass chick sports. For what it’s worth, mixed martial arts isn’t included in this survey.
  • And finally – One quick MLB note – the Yankees and Andruw Jones agree on a 1-year contract for this upcoming season.

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  • The Parents Television Council says that new MTV Show is breaking Child Pornography Laws.  Are you serious?  Ummm…PTC…They are…ACTING!  WTF.  Come on now! Supposedly the next episode is about a kid with a never ending boner. Oh on a side note – Taco Bell pulled all their advertisements from running during the show.
  • Fox denied 2 ads for the Superbowl.  One was from JesusHatesObama.com and the other from AshleyMadison.
  • Check out this movie called RUBBER.  Here is the trailer:

  • So – here is something good from Creed making music.  This kid was walking home from school and saw him face to face with a pack of wolves.  Well – his parents told him not to run but to make a ton of noise.  So – the dude found “Overcome” in his phone….and played it.  The wolves effin ran.  Great success…the hardest song you have? Really?  Come on kid.  Get with it.
  • George Lucas does NOT believe the world is going to end in 2012.  He says: “I spoke with George,” said Lucasfilm rep Lynne Hale in an e-mail to Wired. “He was not serious when he talked about the end of the world in 2012, but he is an adamant believer that the world is flat, that Stonehenge was built by aliens, and that the sun revolves around the Earth. These are among the many subjects he commonly discusses at length with Elvis, who he’s going to digitally insert into Indy 5 along with a roster of famous dead actors.”
LATE NIGHT TV:
David Letterman: Nathan Lane, Mike Palascak, Esperanza Spalding
Jay Leno: Kathie Lee Gifford, Hoda Kotb, Andrew Garfield, Hayes Carll
Jimmy Kimmel: Terry Bradshaw, Jim Sturgess, K.T. Tunstall
Craig Ferguson: Jeff Bridges
Jimmy Fallon: David Duchovny, Greta Gerwig, Lidia Bastianich
Carson Daly: Ron Perlman, Robert Hall, Janelle Monae (R 9/23/10)

CRAPPY BIRTHDAYS:
Singer Richie Havens is 70.
Singer Mac Davis is 69.
Actress Jill Eikenberry is 64.
Singer-songwriter Billy Ocean is 61.
McGuyver is 67
Actor Robby Benson is 55.
Actress Geena Davis is 55.
Actress Charlotte Ross (NYPD Blue) is 43.
Singer Cat Power is 39.
DJ Chris Kilmore of Incubus is 38.
Singer Emma Bunton (Baby Spice) of the Spice Girls is 35.
Singer Nokio of Dru Hill is 32.

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Gina Ryder – 34  – this hooker for hire has been split more than a quart of firewood
– Worlds Luckiest Black Man
– Say Aloha to my A-Hola
– Bald Beaver Blast
– Wet Spots 2
– Fast Times At Deepcrack High
– Slit Happens
– Gina Ryder A.K.A Filthy Whore
– Hoochie Got A Coochie
– San Francisco 69ers vs. the Green Bay Ass Packers

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A man in Poland was pulled over for being mega crunked.  He was 3 times over the legal limit and had brought his pet goat with him in the back seat.  The reason?  He was escorting him to meet him up with a female goat…Needless to say he was arrested and charged with DUI.

CHECK OUT THIS CRAZY NUTTY BITCH…WTF?!

FRIDAY FAIL STORIES

– A man tried to attack a hooker he just nailed with a hammer. Well – she grabbed the hammer and bashed his face in.
– Two dudes broke into a office building and went in to the elevator to get more “loot.”  When the elevator got stuck they had to call the cops on themselves
– A woman was floating down a river on an inflatable sex doll rafting trip.  She got stuck – and then had to call the cops to come save her

– A woman left her credit card at a bank she robbed.  Then she wrote the note on the back of her prescription.  Then when cops went to her house – she was outside because she locked her keys in the house.  Idiot.
– A dude was EXTREME….he decided to ride a trashcan down a hill..and failed…and hit his head on a tree and died! FAIL!


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– A man saw a power line fall in his back yard and went to go check it out…he got electrocuted and died instantly.   Shocked by this his daughter yelled for her mom…the mom ran outside to check on the husband..and when she touched him..she was electrocuted and SHE died instantly.  But were not done yet.  When the 21 year old son saw both parents motionless in the backyard..he ran out to check on the two and HE was shocked and instantly killed as well.

DEAD TO REAL OR COMPLETELY RETARDED:
About 1 in 5,000 babies are born without rectal openings – Dead to Real
– Redheads are more likely to be left handed – Dead to Real
– In Japan – the show Jersey Shore is called, “Seaside Idiots” – Completely Retarded
– Average person swallows 5 times an hour – Completely Retarded
– Average person farts more than 12 times a day – dead to real
– Using an old lawnmower for an hour produces more pollution than driving a car for a year – Dead to Real
– More gas is spilled by people filling lawn mower than there was in Exxon spill. – Dead to Real
– Less than %5 of AOL users still use dial up – Completely Retarded

About war1057

Woody and Rizzuto: Insensitivity Training For A Politically Correct World. Class is in session Mon-Fri 6am-10am (central). Stream live: http://1057thepoint.com
This entry was posted in Comedy, Epic, Funny, Radio. Bookmark the permalink.

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