MONDAY SHOW BLOG (1/24/2011)

Today’s Anthem:Hendrix Rocks It


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Here is today’s DISCOUNT NEWS. Remember – these stories may be a few days old…but if you haven’t heard it – it’s news to you!

  • Check out this idiot…he was arrested and was wearing the most appropriate t-shirt he possibly could. He was arrested because he had a meth lab in his home.
  • An 80 year old woman was fired from Home Depot because she says it was because she was old.  They fired her over 4 $0.06 screws.
  • A FIRST grader in a school was suspended for disrupting an assembly.  Why was he given the in school suspension?  Because the kid put up FINGER GUNS!  Really ? The school says zero tolerance means zero tolerance.  OH COME ON!
  • A dude applied for a job at Wendy’s…and then held it up.
  • 2 out of every 1,000 people wake up during surgery while they are put under. GOO!
  • Remember the meat thermometer stabbing a-hole we talked about last week?  Well he got 4o years in jail for his attempted murder.  You’re an idiot sir.
  • And finally – in Utah they are looking to pass a bill that will make it legal to kill your feral animals.  It will also make it legal to club, decapitate, or shoot feral animals with a bow and arrow.
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  • The Superbowl has been decided.  It will be the Steelers vs. The Packers
    • The Steelers beat the Jets 24-19
    • The Packers beat the Bears 21-14
  • The Blues lost to the Bluejackets 5-2 over the weekend.  They take on the Avalanche tonight in Colorado.  Game time is 8:30 on Fox Sports Midwest.
  • Mizzou Tigers beat Iowa State over 87-54 over the weekend and now take on the University of Texas Longhorns on Saturday.

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  • Want to know what movies use the “F Word” most?  Well we found the list.  Click here to view it.
  • Jack Lalanne died on Sunday.  He was 96 years old.
  • Keith Oberman and his show “Countdown” was suddenly just cancelled on Friday.  It was not made clear why or what happened, but Friday was his last show.
LATE NIGHT TV:
David Letterman: Seth Rogen, Beau Garrett, the Walkmen (R 1/6/11)
Jay Leno: Dana Carvey, Maggie Q, Lizz Wright
Jimmy Kimmel: Cory Monteith, Joan Rivers, the Script
Craig Ferguson: Valerie Bertinelli, Pau Gasol
Jimmy Fallon: Kevin Spacey, DJ Pauly D, Local Natives (R 1/4/11)
Carson Daly: Elisabeth Moss, Kim-Maree Penn, Menomena (R 9/28/10)
Conan O’Brien: Larry King, Shaun White, Iron & Wine
Lopez Tonight: Ashley Tisdale, Kevin Hart, Grace Potter & the Nocturnals


CRAPPY BIRTHDAYS:
Actor Ernest Borgnine is 94.
Singer Ray Stevens is 72.
Singer Aaron Neville is 70.
Singer Neil Diamond is 70.
Actor Michael Ontkean (Twin Peaks) is 65.
Comedian Yakov Smirnoff is 60.
Actress Nastassja Kinski is 52.
Actor Matthew Lillard is 41.
Actor Ed Helms is 36.
Actress Tatyana Ali (The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air) is 32.
Actress Mischa Barton (The O.C.) is 25.

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Castro Supreme – 35 – This he whore man slut has fondled more boobies than an infant in 51 fine films including:
– Diesel Dongs Vols 1, 2, 4, 5, & 9
– Latin Tiger|
– The Nuttcracker
– This Ain’t Good Times
– Used and Abused
– The Anaconda Bites Back

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This seems like something to fight over.  Two grown ass men got into a fight while arguing about whose school was better while they ate and drank at a Buffalo Wild Wings.  Kevin Page, who by the way is 36, thought that his Alma mater was better than another guy in the bar and made sure he knew it yelling and screaming it in the face of the other guy.  Then things escalated quickly: Kevin pushed a bar stool and flung it at the bar.  He then grabbed a 23 ounce glass mug and hit the other man in the face.  The other guy was treated for minor injuries and released but Kevin was charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon, battery in a public place (both which are felonies) and a misdemeanor of property damage.

A couple guys in Penn got a fight.  They were hammered and they were wrestling around.  One dude got hit in the head with a beer bottle.  The other guy fell and the beer bottle swinger maniac bit him in the nut sack!  WHAT?!  Seriously.  He was arrested for assault and the other dude had to head to the hospital.

There was a dude who had his sister sell crack to his girlfriend. Well he got mad and went to go tell his sister off. Well the argument turned into a fight and the fight led to him headbutting his sister and a knock out all out fight. The two were arrested. No word if there was drug charges given to the sister – but…I’ll tell ya this..Headbuttin and fightin cuz your sister sold your girlfriend drugs? HOOSHE!

A man in Poland was pulled over for being mega crunked.  He was 3 times over the legal limit and had brought his pet goat with him in the back seat.  The reason?  He was escorting him to meet him up with a female goat…Needless to say he was arrested and charged with DUI.

WINNER: STORY NUMBER 4 – THE GOAT’S WINGMAN


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A cop in Serbia was drinking and driving when he lost control of his vehicle and hit three girls walking in the street.  The girls were hurt and help was on the way.  When the ambulance arrived – it accidentally ran over one of the girls…killing her instantly.

WHATS UP GRANDMA?!
Hint #1 –
It’s metal
Hint #2 –
Riz has one, Patrico does not

WHAT IS IT?! A WEDDING RING!

About war1057

Woody and Rizzuto: Insensitivity Training For A Politically Correct World. Class is in session Mon-Fri 6am-10am (central). Stream live: http://1057thepoint.com
This entry was posted in Comedy, Epic, Funny, Radio. Bookmark the permalink.

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