Today’s Anthem: The basketball chick BOMBS it…



– Rex & His Old Lady ((Riz endorses))

– The Booty Brotha

– The Halftime Ho

– The Soda Jerk ((MANBALLS, Woody, Mayor Fred, & Patrico endorse))


Check out this video…A Packers fan dad video taped his Bears fan daughter crying her eyes out:

Here is today’s DISCOUNT NEWS. Remember – these stories may be a few days old…but if you haven’t heard it – it’s news to you!

  • Does this kid deserve $3 million dollars?  A 15 year old is suing a golf course because he hit himself in the face with his own golf ball.  He says since the ball hit the awning (to prevent the kids from getting wet) and since THEY PUT IT UP…it’s their fault.
  • When your kids sent text messages like “gr8” instead of great…it’s actually making them better at ACTUAL spelling.  When a kid is figuring out how to abbreviate a word – it’s causing them to spell out the foreals spelling. Researchers are saying that text messaging is actually beneficial for spelling….really? Come on!
  • The birds are dealing drugs in Columbia.  A pigeon was caught trying to smuggle some pot into a jail.  Cops don’t think the bird was acting alone.
  • An owl was found hammered in Germany.  He drank two bottles of Schnapps.  He was hammered and crossing the street wobbling back and forth.
  • Actual headline: Fowl Play When Fight Cock Kills Owner.
  • That creepy a-hole kid who tried to kill Congresswoman Giffords has put in a not guilty plea.  HOW?! You did it – people saw you do it.  WTF. He’s going to plead insanity of some sort.  This dude should have just been shot on sight.  Ridiculous.
  • A 40 year old woman is going to jail for 10 years because she had sex with 2 boys around the age of 14.  She gave them weed and alcohol…and then coaxed them into the sack.  She got caught because the DAUGHTER walked in on the mom banging one of the kids and he went to Facebook and apologized.  Busted!
  • A guy who had muscular dystrophy was on Facebook and sent a message to people saying, “Help me…My house is on fire and I can’t get out”  2 of his friends called 911 and emergency vehicles showed up within 10 mins.
  • The Blues lost in Colorado last night as the Avalanche beat the 4-3.  They play again on Wednesday in Calgary against the Flames before the All-Star break.  As of right now – the Blues sit at 14th place in the Western Conference.
  • We talked about this a little bit yesterday – but people still giving Jay Cutler a ton of crap for not playing the majority of the second half of the NFC Championship game.  Coach Lovie Smith says that it was not Cutler’s decision, but it was decided by him and the medical staff that he wouldn’t be able to play.   Well yesterday he got an MRI and it showed he sprained his MCL.  Cutler refused to comment on the situation but people are saying when he found out about people around the league criticizing him, he started to tear up. Ohh Boo hoo!
  • Cincinnati Bengals QB Carson Palmer told team owners that he want OUT! Team owners told him, no chance. They say he’s a central part of their plan moving forward. Carson says that if he doesn’t get a trade, he’ll consider retiring. Suck on that Bengals fans……he’d rather RETIRE than play another game for your team!
  • So just a day after being eliminated from the playoffs Jet’s defensive star Antonio Cromartie has some very choice words for the NFL and the players’ union and the new collective bargaining agreement. He said, “To me, you need to stop bitching about it, if you wanna say you’re gonna get into a room and meet and greet, and say you’re gonna do what you need to do, then do it. Don’t just talk about it.” One of the main reasons he’s pissed is because he’s a free agent.  And instead of starting negotiations with his team, he’s being told that it’s gonna have to wait because of the CBA.  He goes on to say it’s difficult to sit back and watch this happen because, (QUOTE) “Especially when you don’t get no information about nothing from the union or the owners, So to tell you the truth they need to get their damn minds together and get this [expletive] done. Stop bitching about money. Us players, we want to go out and play football. It’s something we’ve been doing and we love it and enjoy it. It’s our livelihood.”
  • Another real quick note from the NFL…Peter King from Sports Illustrated predicts that the Steelers will win the Superbowl 33-27 over the Green Bay Packers.  But what’s even cooler about that prediction – is that he made it on September 10th of 2010.
  • And finally – just for fun – here is Mark Sanchez picking his nose…and wiping the booger on backup Jets QB Mark Brunell.  To be honest – it’s pretty gross.


  • The Queen of All Media had made a big to-do about how she’d reveal a family secret on Monday’s show. In 1963, when Oprah was 9, her mother put a child up for adoption and never told Oprah. That child had a father who was not Oprah’s dad. On Monday’s show, Oprah and Patricia were reunited with Lee. DNA tests confirmed the sisterhood. In searching for her birth mother, Patricia stumbled on the astounding truth. She then began the long work of contacting Oprah privately (“family business needs to be handled by family,” she said). Patricia has a daughter, Aquarius, and a son, Andre, giving Oprah a half-niece and -nephew. Sadly and ironically, Oprah had another half-sister named Patricia; she died in 2003.
  • Here is a list of the 2011 Oscars…NEAT.  Click HERE.
  • Here is what we really care about.  The 2011 Razzie nominations….SWOOT!  Click HERE!
  • The Big 4 is touring around the U.S.  No word on any dates yet.  Check it out on the Big 4’s website!
  • Tiffany & Debbie Gibson were on a talk show.  Tiffany said, “I was dating Johnathan Knight….and then he turned gay.” So basically she outed him.  He said he thought it was funny.
  • Ted Williams has checked out of rehab against medical advice.  He was there for only 12 days.
  • Both of NFL Sunday Championship Games were massive.  The Green Bay/Chi Town game was the most watched afternoon football game…EVER.  The Steelers/Jets game was the most watched AFC Championship game in history.
  • Check out these Doritos ads….2 gay themed ads:

David Letterman: Natalie Portman, Jay Pharaoh (R 11/22/10)
Jay Leno: Jason Statham, Melissa McCarthy, White Lies
Jimmy Kimmel: Anthony Hopkins, Hailee Steinfeld, Delta Spirit
Craig Ferguson: Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jon Lovitz, Erik Ekstrand & Mackan Edlund
Jimmy Fallon: Jim Carrey, Dr. Mehmet Oz, Ted Williams, Iron & Wine (R 1/6/11)
Carson Daly: Serj Tankian, Ben Weasel, Broken Bells (R 10/12/10)
Conan O’Brien: Patton Oswalt, Steven Ho, Wanda Jackson

Alicia Keys is 31
Nic Cage’s brother and director of 6 episodes of America’s Most Wanted Christopher Coppola is 38
Guitarist for Fine Young Canibals Andy Cox is 55

Auroa Jolie – 46 – this hooker for hire has taken more poundings than Mel Gibson’s baby mama in 99 fine films including:
– Que Culo Grande?
– Anal Whore Next Door Vol. 4
– Bubble Butt BBQ
– Culos Gigantes 2
– Gaped Crusaders Vol 3
– Throat Injections
– Grand Theft Anal 10
– Load Warriors
– Paste My Face
– Fat Black Juicy Anal Booty 4

When cops searched Jodi Haynes – they found drugs on her….in a very odd space.  These drugs were found stuffed inside of a bag of Flaming Hot Cheetos.  Delicious right? But that isn’t it.  The meth inside the delicious treat bag….was also found shoved….INSIDE HER VAGINA!  GOO!  Stuffin drugs in a chip bag in your vagine?  100% hooshe!  WOW!

A man got caught shoplifting when he was busted walking out of astore with his shoes in an empty shoe box and the high heels that he was ganking on his feet!  What a ritard!  What state?! PENNSYLVANIA!

This douchebag from the University of Colorado decided to pay his entire $14,000 dollar tuition in dollar bills and change.  That’s hilarious.  But why is it douchey?  Because the a-hole said he did it because he wanted to prove a point to the University on just how expensive college really is.  In shocking news…the University announced that schooling would now be free…wait…No they didn’t.  You’re a douchebag kid.  Just pay the money and move on.

– About 70 elephants got crunked up on some wine.  Well – 4 days of stampedes later 60 homes are destroyed and 3 people died
– A small deer was hit by a car and flew through the window of another car.  It hit the dad (cut his face) and the mom (scratches) and the daughter (broke her nose)
– A BBC nature guide kids show host was trampled by an elephant
– A mountain goat killed and mauled a hiker. 
– An elephant backed a trainer into the wall and crushed her into the wall.  She died from internal injuries.
– A couple thought a nice horse drawn carriage ride would be sweet.  They were taking pictures with the horse, and then the horse started biting her fingers.  And bit one of them off.  BTW – she’s a pianist.  THAT SUCKS!
– A woman on vacation in the Florida keys when a barracuda jumped out of the water, punctured her lung and through her into the water.
– A zoo keeper in Nebraska was attacked by a chimp and the chimps bit her fingers off…AT THE KNUCKLE!
– In Poland, a man was fox hunting and shot the fox and injured it.  The man went to go finish the job and the fox swung his paw at the gun and shot the guy in the leg.  THAT SUCKS!

CHECK THE 9AM PODCAST FOR GOTTGAME WITH MASTERS. Check out his website by clicking HERE.

Also – want to buy or sell used games?


About war1057

Woody and Rizzuto: Insensitivity Training For A Politically Correct World. Class is in session Mon-Fri 6am-10am (central). Stream live: http://1057thepoint.com
This entry was posted in Comedy, Epic, Funny, Radio. Bookmark the permalink.

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