Today’s Anthem: Wow…it was BUTCHERED by some hooker. My god. It was really bad!
MAYOR FRED AND THE CRAIGSLIST FREAK OF THE WEEK:
— The Halftime Ho
– The Booty Brotha
– Rex & His Old Lady ((Riz endorses))
– The Soda Jerk ((MANBALLS, Woody, Mayor Fred, & Patrico endorse)) THIS WEEKS WINNER!!!!
Check out Lyndon B. Johnson ordering a pair of pants. He has specific instructions about his bunghole. Awesome. Someone made this into a cartoon. AWESOME!
- The President gave the State of the Union Address last night….here is what you need to know:
- President Obama was reaching out to both parties
- Shout out to Arizona shooting victims
- Economy talk
- Ended with “Our Union is Strong…”
- In North Carolina – a dude called 911 and requested a hooker. And it wasn’t the first time he did it. He was arrested because he was hammered and drugged up and called the emergency line to help him locate a hooker.
- A dude was looking for a stripper…cough…hooker. She told him that it would be $200 for a mouth party for an hour. He paid. He ended quickly. She bounced. He was pissed because he paid for an hour. So what did he do? He called 911! Cops said that they could arrest him but just said to get out of here and not worry about it. This a-hole got home..and is now SUING the hooker for $275 for her services and $1.8 million dollars in “suffering money.” ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!
- An abortion doctor is on trial after one of his patients died. A woman was over medicated and died. There were actual body parts of aborted fetus in jars and garbage bags lying around the office. This doctor would also deliver full term babies and then would use scissors to cut their spinal cords and kill the babies.
- Two women’s basketball teams were playing. The final score was 108-3. Yes. Thats the final. And now -the winning team is being called out for running up the score. The winning school has apologized for the harsh beating. And the pussification of America continues….
- The Blues will try to break their latest 3 game losing streak tonight in Calgary against the Flames. Face off is at 9pm on Fox Sports Midwest.
- In Chicago: A car salesman was fired after he refused to take off the Green Bay Packers he wore to work to celebrate the Packers win on Sunday. Well this dudes boss said, “If he loves his tie more than his job..he’s more than welcome to wear it……elsewhere…” and FIRED the guy. The manager of the dealership says he spent around $20,000 with the Bears on advertising, and didn’t want the tie to piss off any of the customers who were Bears fans. The salesman said he wore the tie in honor of his grandmother – who was a huge Packers fan. The dealership offered him his job back, but the dude already has another job lined up with the dealership across the street.
- Rex Ryan wants both Santonio Holmes AND Braylon Edwards back next season but the Jets head coach doesn’t know “how feasible it’s going to be” to re-sign both of them. If the Jets can’t pull it off, Terrell Owens and Chad Ochocinco said they would love to play for Rex and be Jets. It’s probably unlikely but that didn’t stop Ocho and T.O. from talking about it. Speaking of Ochocinco…he says he plans on changing his name BACK to Chad Johnson .
- Speaking of Santonio Holmes…….many people in the sports world are telling the Jets to think twice about signing Santonio to a long-term contract. After the Jets’ loss to the Steelers on Sunday night some of his true colors came out in when he threw offensive coordinator Brian Scottenheimer under the bus during an interview. Though it’s not gun chargers or bad behavior, it should be a warning signs to Jets management.
- Bears coach Lovie Smith will get a contract extension. It’s only a matter of when. The team says they love Lovie but wanted to wait until the season was over……but now that it is, they want to get it knocked out in the coming weeks. Lovie averaged $5 million on his last four-year extension, and in return led the Bears to three NFC North titles……
- Here are the 2011 Oscar nominations. Click HERE.
- The guy who created Glee is pissed that Kings of Leon turned down the show…
- Jersey Shore has picked a location for Season 4. It will be set in Italy. The Italian-American group is mega pissed that they are going over there.
- Rockstar Mayhem Tour is going to be headlined by Disturbed and Godsmack.
- Troy Aikman and his wife are divorcing after 10 years of marriage.
- Bret Michaels had successful heart surgery.
- The Big Four ((Metallica, Megadeth, Anthrax, and Slayer)) will be playing ONE day…and its in California.
David Letterman: Vince Vaughn, Mike Wolfe & Frank Fritz, Cage the Elephant (R 1/11/11)
Jay Leno: Annette Bening, Frank Caliendo, Amos Lee
Jimmy Kimmel: Amy Poehler, Martha Plimpton, Cold War Kids
Craig Ferguson: Betty White, Ellie Kemper
Jimmy Fallon: Steven Tyler, Chace Crawford, Two Door Cinema Club (R 1/18/11)
Carson Daly: Danny Boyle, Rob Zabrecky, Two Door Cinema Club (R 11/5/10)
Conan O’Brien: Jon Cryer, Nick Thune, Motorhead
Lopez Tonight: Jason Statham, Busy Philipps, Wiz Khalifa
Actor Scott Glenn is 72.
Actor David Strathairn is 62.
Singer Lucinda Williams is 58.
Guitarist Eddie Van Halen is 56.
Comedian Ellen DeGeneres is 53.
Wayne Gretzky is 50.
Gospel singer Kirk Franklin is 41.
Rizzuto is 32 years old
Deja Dare – 29 – Even though yes- it is Wednesday – for this hooker everyday is hump day as she starred in 138 fine films including:
– A Negro In Miss Jones
– Big Gulps 2
– Gerth Wind and Fire
– Asswhores From Planet Squirt
– Glazed and Confused
– I Was Tight Yesterday Vol 2
– Help I’m Horny!
– Donkey Punch!
– One in the Pink, One In The Stink!
– Beauty and The 14 Inch Beast
A grandpa was taking his grandson for a stroll. Grandpa was so hammered up that he passed out on the side of the road with the kid just chillin in the stroller. When cops showed up and found Gramps sleeping on the sidewalk – and in the stroller? A couple of frosty cold Keystone Lights. YUM! YUM! When he came to he told cops he was resting. They weren’t buying it…they charged him felony child neglect.
Last Wednesday it snowed like hell. Well three teenagers in Kansas City thought they would take this time to do a little robbing. They were taking advantage of motorist who got stuck in the snow. Only – one problem. These idiots ALSO got stuck in the snow. Cops found them stuck in a snowdrift early on Thursday. Inside the car were credit cards from the victims that they had hit up on Wednesday night.