Today’s Anthem: Jess McCartney really blows it up…bad.
EMAILS FROM THE PEOPLE:
A girl from SEMO was in a Mass Media class was talking about the show and she brought up Bitch Be Trippin’….the teacher was taken aback and the rest of the class stood up for us Ninjas! YEAH! Nice! SEMO LOVE! Thanks Jen!
Adam wanted to know whose job it is to buy the condoms? We say both…problem solved…everyone has them…no questions asked.
Sam put together their first real life Drive By Whoring….awesome! ((We don’t encourage this by the way…))
Check out this fat dude singing a nightmare….apparently Jen who emailed in lived with this nightmare….GROSS! Click HERE for this video….((Sorry Non-Facebookers….this is only on the Book))
CHECK OUT THIS VIDEO…I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING AT IT…
CUTE BABY RIGHT?….WATCH WHAT HAPPENS WHEN SOMEONE SLOWS THIS VIDEO DOWN 50%….CUTE BABY TURNS TO HOLY CRAP BABY!!!!
- DUMBASS CRIMINALS:
- January in 2004 – a dude was gunned downed…cops believed it was gang related…case went unsolved. But – now it’s SOLVED! ACCIDENTALLY. Why? One of the dudes tattoos was the exact scene of a crime scene where the murder had happened. What an idiot!
- Last week a dude in Delaware walked into a 711 and asked for 17 packs of ciggs. The idiot wrote a note he passed to the teller had ALL OF HIS INFORMATION ON IT! IDIOT!
- 3 dudes walked into a bank and stole a bunch of money and were never caught…however – one of the douchers bragged about it on Facebook…they all got caught once the dudes girlfriend ALSO posted on Facebook, “I’m Rich Bitch.” They were all busted…idiots
- 33 year old dude robbed a bank and slipped the teller the note…teller gives him $10,000 in cash. So the dude freaks out to get the teller note…he leaves the bank and then comes back to get the note as soon as cops show up. Busted…IDIOT!
- A man broke into a home while a woman and her young kids were still in the house. The man, who just so happened to be completely butt naked, walked in and began taking all of their photos off the walls. When the family confronted him, he announced himself as Jesus Christ. Cops showed up and took this dude to jail who tested positive for marijuana…and meth. He was charged with burglary, mischief, and indecent exposure.
- A BIG HUZZAH COMING OUT OF THE NFL……kinda. A federal judge has ordered the end of the NFL lockout and favored with the players yesterday. Of course – the NFL quickly filed an appeal, but as it stands right now…the players will return to work as soon as this morning. An NFL Spokesman said that players who show up to team facilities will be allowed in, BUT – coaches can still have zero contact with players, no contract talks may go down, AND…weight rooms must still remain locked. If the appeal is denied, NFL pretty much goes on as usual – but there is still some things that just aren’t clear as to what would go on. Regardless, the NFL draft will go as planned this Thursday night.
- The Cardinals are in Houston tonight to take on the Astros at 7:15pm. And for all of you Tony LaRussa haters…he’s for sure good at one thing…and that’s producing a pretty hot daughter. His daughter Bianca made the Oakland Raiders cheer leading squad and you can check her picture out on the blog…She’s pretty effin hot. CHECK OUT THE PIC!
- NHL Action last night. The Sharks eliminate the Kings with their win in OT and the Lightning force a game 7 against the Penguins with there 4-2 win. Tonight, Boston tries to eliminate Montreal, Game 7 between the Sabres and Flyers, and the Blackhawks attempt to come back from trailing their series 3-0 to beat the Canucks.
- And finally – Three games in the NBA last night – the Grizzles go up 3-1 against the Spurs, The Mavs are up 3-2 over Portland, and Denver avoided a sweep with their win over Oklahoma City…tonight…The Hawks try to win the series against Orlando, the Pacers look to avoid elimination against the Bulls and the Hornets take on the Lakers with their series tied at 2 games a piece.
- Donald Trump v. Robert DeNiro? Well the two are battling because DeNiro bashed Trump for saying something about Obama’s birth certificate. Trump called him, ‘not the brightest bulb on the planet…” So funny!
- Tracy Morgan finally speaking out about Charlie Sheen…he says: “He aint funny to me. It’s a trainwreck. I feel bad for his kids…” So…Woody’s friend who was doin’ the moderating on the Sheen tour…quit the tour yesterday. He’s still involved but he’s no longer doing the moderating thing with it. He even said, “Sheen is losing.”
David Letterman: Will Ferrell, the Twilight Singers
Jay Leno: Lindsay Lohan, Jillian Michaels, the Airborne Toxic Event
Jimmy Kimmel: Mark Ruffalo, Jamie Oliver, the latest “Dancing with the Stars” castoff, Robbie Robertson
Craig Ferguson: Larry King, Dr. Sanjay Gupta (R 3/29/11)
Jimmy Fallon: Matt Lauer, Miranda Cosgrove, Twisted Sister
Carson Daly: Sean Casey, Girl Talk, Interpol
Conan O’Brien: Justin Bieber, molecular mixologist Claire Smith, the Black Keys (R 2/14/11)
Lopez Tonight: Matthew McConaughey, Micky Ward, Ron Artest featuring George Lopez, Fat Joe, B Real, Lenny and Max from Aventura and Taz (R 3/23/11)
“Paul Blart: Mall Cop” star Kevin James is46
Actress Jordana Brewster is 31
“Smallville” star Tom Welling is 34
Slipknot drummer Joey Jordison is 36
Actress Carol Burnett is 78
India Summer – 36 – today’s porno whore has been plowed more than a farmers field 241
– Shorty Is Effin Your Mama
– Art School Dyke
– Diaries of a Wife Gone Black
– Bang My Step Mom Vol 2
– Destination Tonsils
– Blackzilla vs. Manaconda
– Screw My Wife Please: Knock her Socks Off
-Diesel Dongs 14
– I Wanna Backdoor An Indian
From Australia….cops pulled over a 55 year old woman…she blew a .05 on the breathalyzer…which is LEGAL drinking limit here…but not legal there…she gave the cops a very valid excuse….she got some new false teeth and just wanted to test them out by eating some KFC. Didn’t work…she was busted for her SECOND DUI and that means immediate license revoked! HOOSHE TASTIC!
A 61-year-old St. Louis man is being kept at a hospital for observation after allegedly attempting to run down several people in a Schnucks supermarket parking lot over the weekend. Cops said Josef Achtentuch slammed his car into a grocery store cart being pushed by a 47-year-old woman. The woman had an arm injury due to the cart being pulled away from her. Then this a-hole hit an 80-year-old man with his car and knocked him down. Achtentuch got out of his car and started throwing bricks at the elderly man, hoping to hit him in the head, police said. The victim was hit in his stomach, chest and thumb. The elderly man was rushed to a hospital to be treated for his injuries. THIS PSYCHO DOUCHE was charged with first-degree and third-degree assault.
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