NINJA STICKER C/O WOODY AND RIZZUTO
401 S. 18th St
St. Louis, MO 63103
IT’S FRIDAY…AND IT’S TIME TO FORGIVE….TAKE THIS GUY’S ADVICE…HE’S TELLING EVERYONE…F YOU!
Tomorrow – the world will end at 5PM. According to some a-hole online. He claims that he created a formula through Bible verses…and found that the tomorrow is it. WRAP IT UP!
WHAT HAPPENS IF ZOMBIE’S ATTACK TOMORROW?! IT IS THE END OF THE WORLD…I DON’T GET IT! I’M SO SCARED….THANK GOD THE CDC RELEASED A GUIDE FOR WHAT YOU SHOULD DO. CLICK HERE TO CHECK IT OUT.
A woman was pulled off the train – a 15 hour Amtrak journey – after she was talking on her cell phone SO LOUD that she was disturbing people on the train. That’s hella annoying. TAKE THE TEST TO SEE IF YOU ARE ANNOYING? CHECK OUT THE QUIZ RIGHT HERE….
Today’s Anthem: Scott Stapp
Here is today’s DISCOUNT NEWS. Remember – these stories may be a few days old…but if you haven’t heard it – it’s news to you!
- So – the woman who went on to Good Morning America and was talking about giving her daughter botox and waxing treatments is in the news again. Why? Because she got PAID by the Sun and made up the whole damn thing. She is out and about and saying that she was paid and the whole thing was scripted. Well – it all started because CFS took her daughter to the doctor and found out that she didn’t have ANY botox. THIS CHICK IS STILL BATISH’ CRAZY!
- Chuck and Terri Cerda from Las Vegas were the recipients of a brand new home courtesy of ABC’s Extreme Makeover: Home Edition back in March of 2009. In the episode, the couple claimed their 6 and 8 year old daughter suffered from combined immunodeficiency disease. So, the show built them a specially equipped mansion including a gourmet kitchen, an elevator, solar-heated in-ground pool, and a high-quality air filtration system so the girls didn’t have to wear surgical masks to avoid getting sick. Well – just a few months in, the couple couldn’t afford the bill so they sold the house and moved to Oregon. When they moved, they couldn’t find a doctor to diagnose their kids with the disease that she claimed they had…she was so set on having them diagnosed – one doctor even reported her to child welfare services. That’s when all the ish hit the fan. SIX DIFFERENT doctors testified that the kids weren’t really sick, and were being FORCED medicine that they didn’t even need. Courts in Oregon took the kids away but found that their father was a good parent – despite his crazy ass wife – and allowed the kids back to their parents. After the chaos settled down in Oregon – the couple moved BACK to Vegas and still claim their kids are sick. Even though the custody case is over in Oregon, the couple’s attorney says he still believes there may be more legal issues coming. ABC and the producers of Extreme Makeover were unable to comment.
- This dude from Maryland – he calls 911 and reports an illness….The ambulance comes and takes him to the ER. When they can’t diagnose him – they release him. And he walks….right down the road to his dealer. He did this 16 times. And got caught on the 17th.
- WHO FRIGGIN CARES: HALEY REINHARDT WAS VOTED OFF ON AMERICAN IDOL….
- The Cardinals got their forth straight win as they beat the Astros last night 4-2. With the win, Kyle McClellan becomes the first pitcher in the NL with 6 wins. Tonight, the Cards are in Kansas City for inter-league action against the Royals.
- The Bruins beat Tampa last night 2-0 to go up 2 games to one in the Eastern Conference finals. Tonight, it’s game three between the Canucks and the Sharks. Vancouver currently is up 2-0 in that series.
- Kind of out of nowhere…apparently the Atlanta Thrashers could be on the move. Reports coming out of the NHL that say the team could be heading to Winnipeg. No done deals have been made – but it’s look pretty positive….if you are from Canada.
- Last night – the Thunder evened up their series with the Dallas Mavericks in the Western Conference Finals. No games tonight but those same two teams play tomorrow. On Sunday – Game 3 of the Eastern Conference Finals between the Bulls and Heat. That series is tied at 1 game a piece.
- One of Lance Armstrong’s former teammates has told reporters that he actually SAW Lance Armstrong using performance enhancing drugs during his 1999 Tour De France run. To which Lance replied: “20+ year career. 500 drug controls worldwide, in and out of competition. Never fails a test. I rest my case.”
- Finally – the Denver Broncos, and the Tampa Bay Bucs have BOTH turned down to be on HBO’s Hard Knocks.
- Mistress #3 came out. Apparently Arnold was banging some other broad named GiGi back in the 70’s. Then, back in 1989…he was plugging her again. Well anyway, yesterday – Gloria Allred represents GiGi. WTF is she getting involved for? What a hooker.
- You can get Playboy on your phone/digitally now which is pretty awesome. Get it all digitally for about $60 bucks a year.
- 30 Seconds to Mars may be breaking up….just rumors.
- The CW is putting out a new show that seems really awesome. It’s called H8R (Hater). It’s a reality show where celebrities go against regular people that hate them.
David Letterman: Tracy Morgan, Jake Johannsen, the Airborne Toxic Event
Jay Leno: Kirstie Alley, Erik Rivera, Il Volo
Jimmy Kimmel: Khloe Kardashian Odom, “Science Bob” Pflugfelder
Craig Ferguson: Carrie Fisher, Edward Conlon
Jimmy Fallon: Jim Belushi, Jennifer Lawrence, Fleet Foxes
Carson Daly: Bill Carter, 4th and Forever, Frank Turner
WOODY’S SARCASTIC PICK OF THE WEEKEND: Saturday Night – My Cat From Hell on Animal Plant.
Busta Rhymes is 39
TOny Stewart is 40
Mindy Cohn is 45
Bronson Pinchot is 52
Cher is 65
Josh Hamilton is 30
Lisa Edelstein is 45
Judge Reinhold is 54
Mr T is 59
Al Franken is 60
Naomi Campbell is 41
Morrisey is 52
Briana Banks – 32 – today’s birthday hooker has been plugged more than Arnold Schwarzeneggers housekeepers in 254 fine films including:
- Briana Banks A.K.A Filthy Whore
- Up The Wahzoo
- Creme De La Face: The Rodney Show
- Fire In The Whole
- Party Mouth
- A Holes Volume 4
- Tinkle Time 3
- Down The Hatch
- Hanz and Franz’s American Anal Adventure Vol 2
FRIDAY FAIL STORIES
- A TSA agent went through a security checkpoint with a fake bomb for a routine test…one problem…no one told cops and the airport was evacuated and he was surrounded by cops.
-GOTTA LOVE THE FRIDAY SONG!