TUESDAY SHOW BLOG (5/31/2011)

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Today’s Anthem: American Idol’s Pia Toscano

BIG RESPONSE TO THE GRILLIN SEGMENT LAST WEEK.  CHECK IT OUT IF YOU WANT SOME BAD ASS RECIPES AND SOME GREAT GRILLIN’ TIPS.  CHECK IT HERE!

Week In Rage Recap:

THE RETURN OF MAYOR FRED AND THE CRAIGSLIST FREAK OF THE WEEK!

1. Angry Johnny (Woody, Rizz, The Mayor, & Patrico Endorse)

2. Mother May I (Masters Endorses)

3.  Hairy Manilow

4. George Of The Jungle

[audio http://media.1057thepoint.com/Podcasts/1526/FREAKOFTHEWEEK5.31.mp3]

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Here is today’s DISCOUNT NEWS. Remember – these stories may be a few days old…but if you haven’t heard it – it’s news to you!

  • PARENT OF THE YEAR NOMINEE: A special Olympics coach was arrested last week after he repeatedly beat the crap out of his son….who has down syndrome…why?  Because he sucked at tennis.
  • Anthony Weiner and George Lepp are congressmen are in trouble.  Weiner posted his erect weiner on a picture on his Twitter….or so he claims it was hackers.  Lepp posted a full package of his donger on Twitter….and says his phone was in his pocket…must have taken a picture…and then must have posted it on Twitter….OH COME ON! 

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  • Albert Pujols homered in yesterday’s loss to the Giants 7-3.  The Giants hit a grand slam early that the Cards never could come back from.  The two teams meet again tonight at Busch.  First pitch is scheduled for 7:15PM.
  • We talked about this a few weeks back but Ohio State University football coach Jim Tressel has been through a lot of off the field drama this year.  From players trading memorabilia for tattoos and car dealerships giving players and their family discounts, the school has already got a bunch of fines and suspensions.  Well – yesterday Tressel announced his resignation as head coach.  Which shockingly comes just hours before Sports Illustrated released a story in which they claim the “six” players involved in the tattoo scandal…is more like 28.  Luke Fickle will be the team’s interim coach for this season.
  • The NBA playoffs start tonight.  It’s a rematch of the 2006 finals.  The Mavericks head to Miami for game 1.  In ’06 – Miami beat Dallas in 6….tip off tonight is scheduled for 7PM on ABC.
  • Tomorrow marks the start of the NHL Stanley Cup Finals.  Vancouver and Boston will meet in Vancouver.  Game one is at 7pm tomorrow on NBC.
  • TOTAL SPORTS FAIL: J.R Hildebrand was about to win his debut Indy 500 race.  The 23 year old was coming in hot around turn 4….and….instead of crossing the finish line – dude crushed the wall.  He ended up finishing second and Dan Wheldon won the race…but the video is hilarious and is a total Sports Fail.

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  • Jeff Connaway has died.  More than likely cause of death is going to be from abuse of prescription medicine.
  • Singer Sean Kingston is still in critical condition after he crashed his jet ski into a bridge.
  • Apparently Tupac has been discovered alive and well and hanging out in New Zealand.  And that’s all according to PBS.  Or – at least…that’s what HACKERS have posted online.
  • Moby says that today’s pop music is all manufactured but it shouldn’t even be considered music at all.  People says that he’s talking about Black Eyed Peas, Rhianna, Ke$ha and those hookers.
  • Adrianne Curry and Christopher Knight filed for divorce.  Shocking! Niecy Nash got married…so did Tony Romo.
  • Last week a dude in NYC called a CW network that runs Two & A Half Men repeats and called in a bomb threat.  Well needless to say – they traced the call and the dude got arrested.  IDIOT.  If you don’t want to watch the show…DON’T WATCH IT!

LATE NIGHT TV:
David Letterman: Kate Hudson, Rich Eisen, Emmylou Harris (R 4/27/11)
Jay Leno: Jennifer Lopez, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, BC Jean (R 5/9/11)
Jimmy Kimmel: Carson Daly, Flavor Flav, I See Stars
Craig Ferguson: Ray Romano, Dr. Lisa Masterson
Jimmy Fallon: Whoopi Goldberg, Elmo, Jennifer Hudson (R 5/3/11)
Carson Daly: Bill Hader, Stuart Gordon, the Morning Benders (R 3/22/11)
Conan O’Brien: Sarah Silverman, Biz Stone, Pete Holmes (R 3/21/11)
Lopez Tonight: Terence Howard, Lisa Lampanelli, Joey “Boo Boo” Rodriguez (R 4/6/11)

WOODY’S SARCASTIC PICK OF THE NIGHT: Love Handles on Lifetime.

CRAPPY BIRTHDAYS:
Clint Eastwood is 81
Colin Farell is35
Lea Thompson is 50
Phil Keoghan is 44
Darryl McDaniels is 47
Brooke Shields  is 46
Chris Elliot is 51
Tom Berenger is 62
Corey Hart is 49
Joe Namath is 68

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Misty Mendez – 36 – Today’s bday girl had been wrecked and abused more than a foreclosed home in 140 fine films including:
– This Is Your Mom Getting F’d In A Porno
– Big Boob Lesbian Cops Vols 1 & 2
– Tinkle Time
– Ass Aliens
– Hots Bods and Tail Pipe 14
– The Adv. Of A-hole Andy
– Negro In Miss Jones Vol 5
– Beverly Hills 9021-Ho
– Wet Panty Car Wash
– Love Chunks Vol 17
– Wanna See Me Pee?
– Pull My Hair and Call Me Stupid

THAT SUCKS!
– A trucker fell on a combressed air hose and he literally blew up like a balloon.  When people asked how he got the air out….they said he had to let it out naturally…dude literally blew up like a damn hot air blimp.  So funny!
– A couple were headed to a coin show.  Their car flipped and the coins they had…which was worth over a $1 million dollars….was sprayed all across the area.  SUCKS!
– A 24 year old woman in England suffers for a sleeping disorder.  Any emotionally trigger causes her to faint.  She claims she passes out almost 50 times a day.  She recently laughed at a joke and passed out.
– A man in England was doing some work at his house and a goose started chasing him.  The goose landed on his head – while he was driving at ATV – and he crashed into the tree causing a compound fracture.
– A doctor in Australia admitted he didn’t read a patients chart when he cut her open to remove her gall bladder…which was already gone.  Chick died a few days later!
– A girl bought some hand warmers (they look like little sandbags) and put them in her back pocket….and they caught on fire and set her ass on fire! She was in the hospital with burn damages.  SUCKS!

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TUESDAY: Cops in Florida said a man stole an 18 pack of Bud Light from a 7-Eleven because he had a special agenda.  They say the guy took the beer from the store and then threw it in his SWEET silver Dodge Neon.  Cops found them down the road…changing their tire…and confronted the guy about the stolen beer.  The man – who ended up being a 20 year old dude – said he stole it so he could “score some women.”  Cops arrested the man but he was unable to tell them where the stolen beer was.

WEDNESDAY: In Florida – A 75 year old man was playing his music real loud early in the morning.  That’s when the wife started arguing with him.  He “aggressively groped her butt” and she called the cops.  When cops got there he admitted to groping the booty but then said he didn’t know what her problem was. Cops said, “Sir….Do you know what time is it?  It’s 2AM….” He replied: “YEAH…PARTY TIME!”

THURSDAY: A man called the cops after someone kicked down his backdoor and robbed his house of his TV, cash, and a laptop.  So when the cops came out they did some looking around and they found something very interesting.  A complete meth lab inside of his backyard shed.   HOOSHE NOTE: Make sure you clean out the meth lab before you invite the cops into your home!  

FRIDAY: Cops were called out to the Trailer-Rama trailer park…and arrested a man who attacked his roommate with a machete after he was told to get out of the trailer they were living in.  The roommate tried to defend himself with some cinder blocks but still suffered some cuts.  Cops found the machete wielding a-hole hiding in some woods behind the trailer.

WINNER:  THE METH DUDE WHO WAS ROBBED….IDIOT!  FIRST OF ALL…”KICKED DOWN THE BACK DOOR”

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WOW…Just check out these DOUCHEBAG PARENTS!  HOLY CRAP!



GOTT GAME WITH STEVE MANBALLS MASTERS!:
CHECK THE 9AM PODCAST FOR GOTTGAME WITH MASTERS. Check out his website by clicking HERE.

Also – want to buy or sell used games?

Visit GLYDE.COM.

About war1057

Woody and Rizzuto: Insensitivity Training For A Politically Correct World. Class is in session Mon-Fri 6am-10am (central). Stream live: http://1057thepoint.com
This entry was posted in Comedy, Epic, Funny, Radio. Bookmark the permalink.

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