ANTHEM: Patrico Mega-Fail
HERE IS THE SCREEN SHOT FROM THE DRIVE BY WHORING TODAY. CHECK OUT TODAY’S DBW DURING THE 9AM PODCAST! CLICK THE PICTURE TO MAXIMIZE IT!
MAYOR FRED AND THE CRAIGSLIST FREAK OF THE WEEK!
- Racism…there is an app for that. There is a new app for an iPhone called “Picture Effect Magic.” Well – it changes some pictures and adds different effects. There is seriously an option that is called, “54 Nigger Brown.” When you select it it makes the image a brownish tint. As of last night – the app has changed it to just “54 Brown.” He still hasn’t and Apple hasn’t responded to any questions about the app.
- This story is UNREAL. A dude was kicked off a flight on Sunday Night for “disruptive behavior.” What did he do? He said the “F-WORD”…twice. The flight was delayed and he muttered the word to himself (not yelling at anyone). It was literally a “What the eff…this is effin ridiculous” moment. A flight attendant got so offended that she called the cops who threw them off the plane.
- In Mexico – a dude was on the run from being charged with defrauding a government health agency. How? He got a SEX CHANGE! Check out this picture – pretty believable.
- A dude called cops to the scene when he accidentally hit a dog in his truck. When they showed up – he was unstable on his feet and failed the field sobriety tests. Cops arrested him and threw him into the drunk tank. Well – he wasn’t drunk. Dude has CEREBRAL PALSY!!! He’s just filed a MULTI-MILLION DOLLAR lawsuit.
- Lance Berkman and Albert Pujols both homered last night to give the Cards a big 6-2 lead going into the 7th inning. Unfortunately…the Nationals decided that wasn’t going to be enough. After a huge 6 run inning, they come back and get the 8-6 win over the Cards. The two teams are back at it again tonight. First pitch is 6:05pm.
- This story is kind of crazy. Seven gang members who have a connection with Shaq – are now facing charges after they beat down some dude. Here’s the story. 7 dudes met this guy – held him at gun point, made him drive to his house, then pistol whipped him, stole his Rolex, and took about $1,500 cash. Why did they jump him? He claimed that he has a video of Shaq…having sex…with someone that WASN’T his wife. Apparently this guy is a former business partner of Shaq and said that Shaq used to bring broads back to HIS house and bang them. The 7 dudes were arrested and as of right now – Shaq is NOT a suspect in the case….we’ll see how it all pans out.
- Here’s some other NBA news….After the Dallas Mavericks won the NBA Championship Sunday night, Mavs owner MARK CUBAN spent about $110,000 partying at a Miami nightclub with the team. Most of that money was spent on a $90,000 bottle of champagne and a $20,000 tip.
- Finally – Game 7 of the NHL Finals tonight. The Bruins head to Vancouver to take on the Canucks. Puck drops at 7PM and the game is on NBC.
- Hugh Hefner was dumped this week! He was supposed to marry some 25 year old broad named Crystal….who bounced out of the Mansion because she wants to do something with her music career. TMZ reports that she dumped him because of her LOW ALLOWANCE of “a couple hundred bucks a week.”
- Natalie Portman gave birth to a kid yesterday.
- Soulja Boy is now claiming he was HACKED after a racist, homophobic rant came out on his Facebook page. This is just a little bit of what he had to say, ““I’m tired of white people doing us like this man!! They treat us so wrong!! F**k them.” Another rant said “I’m gonna keep talking sh*t to these white f*ggots until they unlike my page. f**king weirdo stalkers!”
- Cops arrested Amber Portwood because of an apparent suicide attempt. She had a rope around her neck and took a bunch of pills. She’s ok….but….she needs to try harder.
- Justin Timberlake smokes weed and he doesn’t care who knows about it.
- Check out this kid’s book. This is hilarious! Samuel L. Jackson narrates a child’s book called “Go The Eff To Sleep.” CLICK HERE FOR SOME FREE AUDIO DOWLOAD CLIPS!
LATE NIGHT TV:
David Letterman: Jim Carrey, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Todd Rundgren
Jay Leno: Blake Lively, Blake Shelton, Scotty McCreery
Jimmy Kimmel: Gordon Ramsay, Hanson
Craig Ferguson: Alfred Molina, Joe DeVito (R 4/21/11)
Jimmy Fallon: A demonstration of Uncharted 3, Cory Monteith, Larry the Cable Guy, Paul Williams
Carson Daly: Fred Armisen, David Seidler, Broken Bells (R 2/24/11)
Conan O’Brien: Tom Arnold, Mike Birbiglia, Redlight King
Lopez Tonight: Cee-Lo Green, J.J. Abrams, Brandon Scott Wolf
SARCASTIC PICK OF THE NIGHT: Premier of: Toddler & Tiaras!
Helen Hunt is 48
Neil Patrick Harris is 38
Ice Cube is 42
Leah Remini is 41
Tim Linecum is 27
Jim Belushi is 57
Courtney Cox is 47
Mary Carey -31 – Today’s bday girl ran for Governor of California and lost to Arnold Schwarzenegger. However – she’s finished first in most of the 92 fine films including:
– Grand Opening
– Dr I Loved My Daddy
– Boob Girls Sorority Girls
– Big Boob Bangeroo
– Busty Dildo Lovers 4
– Eager Beavers
– ATM Queen
– Celebrity Pornhab w/Dr. Screw
25 Travis Edwin Huffman a vicadin dealer was trying to work out a deal with one of his customers . He texted the customer and told him to meet him up at the Walmart. Well – he’s retarded and accidentally texted the local police station somehow. Well – when he got to Walmart the cops were there….but it’s not done there. The kids mom…Kimberly BUTTERBEAN Meadows claimed that the pills were HERS and she was just wanting him to sell them for her. Well – needless to say…they were both arrested! HOOSHE BEYOND HOOSHE!
iPOD CHALLENGE: WHO’S iPOD IS THIS SONG IN?!
WHO’S iPOD?! PATRICO
A 61 year old dude called 911 because he wife was having a heart attack. 911 started walking him through the steps to give her CPR when the phone went silent. When paramedics showed up – the dude was slumped over his wife…dead….from a heart attack. Medics tried to revive the wife…who was also dead!
BITCH BE TRIPPIN’: ((CHECK OUT THE 7AM PODCAST FOR CALLERS AND TEXTERS))
– Cops in Georgia are reminding people AGAIN that 911 calls that are not emergencies are CRIMES. A broad called to complain about a Chinese restaurant that wasn’t giving her proper service. Check out the audio on today’s 7AM Podcast.
– So last year this stupid bitch taught her 6 year old daughter how to pole dance. Well – she’s back at it again. For her daughters 7th birthday – she gave her a voucher for a BOOB JOB! She says that girl begged her for it and she is going to give it to her after she turns 16…the legal age to get a boob job. BBT!
– In a hotel in NYC last week a woman walked into a lobby wearing pink panties outside of her pants…AND she had a pistol sticking out of her pocket. Witnesses say the woman was wandering around speaking “gobbledygook.” Security took her down and grabbed the gun which wasn’t loaded.
– Last week a woman in Florida went into the grocery store and headed straight to the meat department. The manager saw her loading up a shopping cart before heading down one of the aisles. He then watched her fill up her purse with items and then went to check out. Well he stopped her at the door and found six full racks of ribs and two packages of oxtails. She was arrested.
– Dog lovers aren’t going to love this….A 14 year old gal from K.C. said that she was mad at the dog so she hit the Black Lab puppy with a shovel, poured gas on it, and then lit in on fire. Unbelievably the dog survived. It has 3rd degree burns on 40% of its body and lost both of it’s ears. The girl? Arrested. The dog’s owner? ALSO ARRESTED…WHY?! Because this dumb bitch waited a day before taking it to the vet! BBT!
– A 32 year old broad from Milwaukee was arrested for drunk driving with not one, not two, but ELEVEN KIDS in her SUV. By the way…this was on a SATURDAY AFTERNOON! She rolled the SUV and 5 of the kids were hurt. BBT!
– REAL OR FAKE?! REGARDLESS…BITCH BE TRIPPIN!