The St Patrick’s Center Dine or Donate event had to be canceled because the Downtown Hooters was going to participate in this event.  The UBER-CATHOLIC people went crazy because Hooters was involved and didn’t mirror the Catholic faith.   Woody says that..if you don’t want to donate..don’t.  If you don’t want to accept the donation..then don’t.  But it’s Hooters. Who cares?

Today’s Anthem: Sir Thomas Tiberus West

Ginger Lee – a porn star that has ties with Congressman Anthony Wiener – now has representation from none other than….GLORIA ALLRED!  OH COME ON!  WHAT DOES THIS HOOKER NEED A LAWYER FOR?!




Here is today’s DISCOUNT NEWS. Remember – these stories may be a few days old…but if you haven’t heard it – it’s news to you!

  • Yesterday, cops in Jeffco arrested a dude – who is a convicted CHILD KILLER – for enticement of a child after he apparently made sexually suggestive comments to a young girl online.  Now – this guy from High Ridge (his hooshe name is Searl Lee Dunn) is 65 and back in 1978 he beat and burned his girlfriends 2 year old son killing him!  He was supposed to face 150 years in prison to which he only served 19% of the sentence.  Then – he got out – and gets charged with child molestation after fondling an 11 year old girl, exposing himself, and JOing.  Dudes still on the streets after all that…and NOW…this story.  UNREAL!
  • A couple years back a dude in Florida killed his 83 year old dad by smothering him with a couch cushion.  He admitted to it but said he didn’t know what he was doing because he was….DRINKING RED BULL. That’s insane.  But the craziest thing is the judge bought it and found him not guilty because of mental illness.  Justice NOT served. 
  • A 55 year old Japanese dude was arrested for having 3 young girls spit and video taping it.  Cops found this guy because they claim he tapes them to satisfy their sexual desires and NOT a “scientific research program” like he claims.  He’s approached around 4,000 girls and got spit from around 500 of them.  Cops found 26 videos at this guys house.  Dude could spend a year in prison and face a fine of $12,000 bucks.
  • The Cardinals got their asses kicked by the Nationals last night.  Final score was 10-0.  The team looks to break their 5 game win-less slump tonight in Washington.  First pitch is 6:05PM.
  • The Boston Bruins won game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals 4-0.  Boston goalie Tim Thomas was named the Playoff MVP.  In Vancouver…they took the loss pretty well….with rioting, violence, and setting things on fire while flipping over cars. 
  • How’s this for a slap in the face.  Dallas Mavericks guard DeShawn Stevenson, the dude who wore the “How’s My Dirk Taste” shirt…was arrested Tuesday night for public intoxication.  Cops got a call to head to an apartment complex and found him so hammered he had no idea where he was.  Cops took him to jail and he was released after posting a $475.00 dollar bond.
  • Speaking of the Mavericks….How was Dirk Nowitzki’s Dallas Mavericks NBA championship celebrated in his home country?  A German newspaper ran the headline, quote, “Nowitzki defeats the ghetto basketball”, and pointed out that he’s the first white MVP since Larry Bird.  
  • Remember David Tyree?  He’s the dude who made that amazing catch in Super Bowl 42 when the Giants beat the Patriots.  Well – Tyree pissed off the gay after doing an interview with an Anti-Gay Marriage group.  When asked about gay marriage he said, QUOTE “This will be the beginning of our country sliding toward….it’s a strong word….but anarchy” Tyree adds, quote, “How can marriage be marriage for thousands of years and now all the sudden because a minority, an influential minority, has a push or an agenda . . . and totally reshapes something that was not founded in our country.”


  • Jaleel White – Steve Mother Effin Urkel – was interviewed the other day and he talked about how he “matured” quicker then his character did.  He said he was getting notes on: “His bulging sack.”  HAHAHA!  Too funny!  He looks totally different though.
  • Two men were arrested who were planning on killing Joss Stone.  They were arrested with a bodybag, rope, and swords.  Apparently they had blueprints but cops are saying this isn’t 100% true.
  • Charlie Sheen WILL NOT be getting his $100,000,000 dollar lawsuit heard in court.  It will go in arbitration just like Chuck Lorre wanted.
  • There have been some rumors that Metallica is working on some sort of secret project….and apparently it’s true.  The project is that they are working with Lou Reed….WHAT?! Neat! Click here for the release.
  • Kevin Costner, Russel Crowe, Amy Adams and Diane Lane will now be in the NEW Superman movie.
  • Reese Witherspoon owns two miniature donkeys name Honky and Tonky….and apparently they are annoying the CRAP out of their neighbors.  They won’t her to get rid of the asses.

David Letterman: Samuel L. Jackson, Texas Ranger Josh Hamilton, Jennifer Hudson ((HERE IS THE CLIP TO THE GO THE EFF TO SLEEP AUDIO AGAIN))
Jay Leno: Larry David, Pitbull with Ne-Yo
Jimmy Kimmel: Cedric the Entertainer, Ray Kurzweil
Craig Ferguson: Diane Lane, Karen Gillan (R 4/22/11)
Jimmy Fallon: A demonstration of Battlefield 3, Keith Olbermann, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Battles
Carson Daly: Jason Eisener, Shane Smith, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club (R 5/3/11)
Conan O’Brien: Ryan Reynolds, Simon Pegg, Kyle Kinane
Lopez Tonight: Padma Lakshmi, Lucy Punch,

Laurie Metcalf is 56
John Cho is 39
Phil Mickelson is 41
The Ultimate Warrior is 52

Dana DeArmond – 32 – Today’s bday girl has shown off more crack than the Liberty Bell in 261 fine films:

– Don’t Tell My Wife I’m Banging My Secretary
– Eff Me Like You Hate Me 2
– Gapes Crusaders
– Masturbation Nation Vols 6 & 11
– 2 Big Two Black For Her White Crack
– Flat Out F’ing
– Ass For Days 2
– Good Will Effing
– Satan’s Whore
– Anal Is My Middle Name

In Wisconsin – cops were called out where two brother Jonathan and Jared got into a violent fight over a bottle of shampoo.  Shocking – they still live with their mom.  Jonathan went in to Jared’s room and grabbed the bottle of shampoo…and that’s when it got fuzzy.  The two started battling it out with each other.  When cops got there – one of the boys was yelling at their mom on the front yard.  Both the brothers had scratches and cuts on their body and both were arrested.  Violent fights over shampoo? 100% hooshe worthy!

Check out the 8AM podcast for our SEXY TIME FUN FACTS – LESBIAN STORIES!


Today’s dbag of the day is 20 year old Christopher Fitzpatrick and his girlfriend from Pennsylvania. Jennifer started going into labor over Memorial Day weekend.  Well – they couldn’t afford another child because they already had FIVE of them.  He said, “Have this effin baby….I just want to get rid of it.”  The baby is born…no one touches it…they just leave it in the CAR where it was birthed.   Chris dropped off his sister and his girlfriend at a hospital and then he drove to a landscaping company he worked for.  And he picked up a cinder block and dropped it on the babies skull TWICE and killed their child.  The sister ended up telling the family…and he finally admitted to it.  Well – Chris and his girlfriend were arrested and are charged with criminal homicide.  UNBELIEVABLE!

CONTESTANT #1 – Justin


QUESTION: Who took over Conan’s LATE SHOW when he went to the Tonight Show


HERE’S THE PHONE NUMBER: 573- 259-6496



QUESTION: What was the name of the Colonel on the board game CLUE?

ANSWER: Colonel Mustard



About war1057

Woody and Rizzuto: Insensitivity Training For A Politically Correct World. Class is in session Mon-Fri 6am-10am (central). Stream live:
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