1. Lady CaCa (Woody, Rizz, Manballs and Patrico endorse)
2. A Bitch Named Revenge (Mayor Fred Endorses)
3. Mr. Clean
- In Florida – three employees had to be investigated for different reasons….needless to say…they were all fired.
- The thieving principal – she stole $14,000 worth of school furniture
- The randy teacher – a reading teacher had a sexual relationship with an 18 year old student
- The naked janitor – dude was caught naked in a storage area during school hours.
- Osama Bin Laden gave his employees more time off than you get. Dude gave married dudes SEVEN days paid vacation for ever three weeks worked. More wives = more vacation. It’s much better than ANY vacation package here. On average Americans get 18 vacations days and only used around 14 of them.
- The Cardinals had no problem finding offense yesterday as they beat the Orioles 6-2 in Baltimore. David Freese who had 2 hits and a run scored looks great in his return to the lineup. The two teams are back at it again today. First pitch scheduled for 6:05PM.
- The South Carolina Gamecocks won the 2011 College World Series last night with a 5-2 win last night. With their sweep in the best of 3 series over the Florida Gators it’s the team’s second straight College World Series win.
- Some hockey news – the Pittsburgh Penguins have offered 39 year old Jaromir Jagr a one year deal to join the team for next year. And they foreals want him to play. They say he’d be a perfect fit for the team and they want him to come back and play one more year so he then can retires as a Penguin. Jagr has been playing in the Russian hockey system for the past three years.
- And finally – Yesterday, the North Korean women’s World Cup soccer team lost to the U.S. two-to-nothing. That always happens with North Korean teams . . . they’re just not as athletic as the other evil countries. And as you’d expect, their coach went for a CRAZY EXCUSE to save face . . . and quite possibly, his life. He blamed the loss on LIGHTNING. It wasn’t raining in the stadium or anything. No . . . he says that when they were practicing a few weeks back, lightning struck and made five of his players too injured to properly train, practice, or perform. Possibly ever again.
- If there’s one question SHIA LABEOUF has been asked more than any other, it’s probably this: Why are you such a giant D-bag? Running a close second, though, would be this question: Did you ever have bone MEGAN FOX during the making of the “Transformers” movies? And finally, after all these years, Shia has answered that question: And the answer is YES. He dropped the bomb in an interview with “Details” magazine. Asked if he hit that, Shia NODDED, then said, quote, “Look, you’re on the set for six months, with someone who’s rooting to be attracted to you, and you’re rooting to be attracted to them.”
- KIRSTEN DUNST was partying in London the other night. And she made sure to wear panties. Yet she STILL showed off a little too much of that particular area while getting out of a car. It kind of slipped out the side.
- There’s an email going around that was written by a girl who allegedly had her toes sucked by QUENTIN TARANTINO while he pleasured himself. We’re not sure if it’s legit, but the story is that she wrote the message to several friends, and it ended up circulating to the point where some gossip sites got a hold of it. Basically, the broad went to a party, and Quentin started hitting on her. She didn’t really like him, but I guess she’s a FAME WHORE, because she started making out with him just for the heck of it. Then, even though she had no intention of letting him get into her pants, she went back to his house. There, he whipped out his hog. The chick was NOT impressed. In fact, she described it as, quote, “short, fat [and] nub-like” . . . as well as “horrific”. But it wasn’t coitus Quentin was after. Instead, he asked if he could SUCK HER TOES WHILE HE PLEASURED HIMSELF. Read the email HERE!
- THOM WEST OR DARTH VADER UNMASKED?
—“Letterman” – Patrick Dempsey (“Transformers: Dark of the Moon”). Music Guest: Country singer Marty Stuart.
—“Conan” – Liv Tyler (“The Ledge”), Mark-Paul Gosselaar (“Franklin & Bash”) and comedian Jon Dore.
—“The Tonight Show” – Larry David (“Curb Your Enthusiasm”) and Ashley Hebert (“The Bachelorette”). Music Guests: Pitbull with Ne-Yo. (REPEAT)
—“Jimmy Kimmel” – Kevin Nealon (“Weeds”) and Dave Salmoni (“Expedition Impossible”). Music Guest: Parachute.
—“Craig Ferguson” – Mary-Louise Parker (“Weeds”) and comedian Dom Irrera.
—“Jimmy Fallon” – Lucy Liu (“Kung Fu Panda 2″) and New York Giants star Justin Tuck. Music Guests: Wavy Gravy, David Crosby and Graham Nash. (REPEAT)
—“Carson Daly” – Blogger Kelly Oxford and photojournalist Timothy Allen. Music Guests: Sarah Lee Guthrie and Johnny Irion. (REPEAT)
—“Lopez Tonight” – Cedric the Entertainer (“Larry Crowne”) and comedian Steve Mehrens.
–Nicole Scherzinger – 33 (Gorgeous Hawaiian, Filipino, and Russian lead singer of The Pussycat Dolls, and “Dancing With the Stars” champion. Her mother was a professional hula dancer, you know.)
–Melora Hardin – 44 (Sexy Jan on “The Office”.)
–Sharon Lawrence – 50 (She used to be well-chested Assistant D.A. Sylvia Costas . . . Sipowicz’s sweet minx on “NYPD Blue”.)
–Dan Dierdorf – 62 (Lispy football announcer, formerly of “Monday Night Football”.)–Richard Lewis – 64 (Neurotic comedian.)
–GARY BUSEY! – 67 (Might only have one nostril. He used to love the Bolivian Marching Powder . . . just LOVE it. That was after he was a drummer for Kris Kristofferson and Willie Nelson.)
Kaitlyn Ashley – 40 – Today’s birthday girl has been torn a new one in 322 fine films including:-
– Anal Connection
– Anal Inquisition
– A Rear and Pleasant Danger
– Back To Anal Alley
– Anal Angels
– Anal Adventures of Max Hardcore
– Exit In The Rear
– Anal Innocence
– Anal Intruder
– Anal Maniacs
– Hotel Sodom Vol 9
– Certifiably Anal
– Anal Overtures
– Anal Rampage
– Ass Ventura Crack Detective
– Anal Talisman
– Anal Virgins Of America
– Anal Vision
– Backdoor Bradys
– Anally Yours
Say Aloha To My A-hola
In Florida, cops arrested Eugene Hickman after his grandson caught him trying to bang the 3 year old bulldog. The boy told his parents and the parents told the cops. When cops got there – he said it was his first time trying it and he PROMISED he’d never do it again….that didn’t matter. Cops still arrested him. The dog was taken to the vet. He’ll be OK.
iPOD CHALLENGE: WHO’S iPOD IS THIS SONG IN?!
WHO’S iPOD?! WOODY!
BITCH BE TRIPPIN': ((CHECK OUT THE 8AM PODCAST FOR CALLERS AND TEXTERS))
– Cops in Ohio pulled over a woman who was involved in a domestic dispute and when they tried to arrest her…she said she was breast feeding….and then whipped out her boob and sprayed them with breast milk right in the face! BITCH BE TRIPPIN!
– Firefighters and police in North Dakota had to rescue a woman after she drove into the floodwaters while trying to get to a bingo game…at a bar…while she was drunk. BBT
– A woman from Seattle was arrested after her boyfriend called 911 after she GRABBED HIM BY THE NUTS AND “SQUEEZED VERY HARD.” He had to go get emergency surgery to repair his junk! BBT!
– A bitch in England was on the jury for a major drug investigation case. But – she is in some trouble. Why? SHE EFFIN FRIENDED THE DEFENDANT ON FACEBOOK! IDIOT! BBT!