THURSDAY SHOW BLOG (6/30/2011)

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NINJA STICKER C/O WOODY AND RIZZUTO

401 S. 18th St
St. Louis, MO 63103

WOODY WAS ON THE JILLY’S NEWS COVERAGE ON KSDK. (RIZZ SAID HE LOOKS LIKE HE’S GOT A TOUCH OF THE DOWNS)

CHECK IT OUT


Woody mentioned something the other day about women giving the stink eye when you say you aren’t breast feeding your child.  Well – we got an email from a LACTIVIST!  GOO!  Check out the first thing during the 6AM podcast for the email.  Some people…we want facts lady!  Facts!

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Here is today’s DISCOUNT NEWS. Remember – these stories may be a few days old…but if you haven’t heard it – it’s news to you!

  • Don’t you hate it when a server takes your order at a restaurant and doesn’t write anything down? Restaurants are encouraging their employees to do this now!  They say the servers are forced to make eye contact and forced to pay more attention which improves service.  How about you just write it down & get it correct. That’s good service. All three of us hate that…we also hate the OVER FRIENDLY servers.
  • In Portland, a dude was caught taking a leak in a reservoir.  Well – in Portland… all of these reservoirs head straight to the residences.  So, what did they do?  They drained all of the 8 million gallons of water! Hippies are pissed!  The city says that the water company is doing this as a giant PR move.  Wait – Woody brought up a good point…this water goes straight to the faucet?! It’s not treated first?! WTF! SERIOUSLY?!
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  • Chris Carpenter pitched a complete game last night getting the 5-1 victory over the Orioles.  Colby Rasmus is still on fire…he hit a homer in his second straight game.  Tonight the two teams are at it again – first pitch scheduled for 6:05pm.
  • On a side note:  Cards fans can finally breathe out a sigh of relief…..The team released Ryan Franklin yesterday.  The Cards will pay out the remaining $3.25 million dollars they owe him and look to fill his position within the club.
  • So for quite sometime now we have been talking about the NFL Lockout…and it looks like ANOTHER league will be heading the same direction.  Tonight at midnight – the NBA collective bargaining agreement expires and all reports show that the league will be headed for a lockout.  According to some sources – the NBA is in MUCH worse shape than the NFL…and the upcoming NBA season is already in HUGE JEOPARDY.
  • And finally – former St. Louis Blue Paul Kariya announced his retirement yesterday.  Kariya last played in the 2009-2010 season before suffering another concussion and doctors said yesterday, he has permanent brain damage.

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  • The National Enquirer set up some hidden cameras – and busted Chris Hansen….not sleeping with kids…but banging a much younger woman.  He’s married by the way.  OOOOOO…camera’s catch everything. ((Check the 7AM Podcast for some funny ass Chris Hansen audio!)) WANT A CHRIS HANSEN SOUNDBOARD – CLICK HERE?
  • Lindsay Lohan was released from House Arrest yesterday just after 35 days. What a joke!
  • Check out the vandalism at the Ryan Dunn crash site.  CLICK HERE.

LATE NIGHT TV:
“Letterman”Julia Roberts (“Larry Crowne”).  Music Guest:  Cake.
“Conan”Tom Hanks (“Larry Crowne”) and BBQ champion Myron Mixon.
“The Tonight Show”Kirstie Alley (“Dancing with the Stars”) and comedian Erik Rivera.  Music Guest:  Italian teenage tenors Il Volo.  (REPEAT)
“Jimmy Kimmel”Shia LaBeouf (“Transformers: Dark of the Moon”) and Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers (“ESPY Awards”).  Music Guest:  311.
“Craig Ferguson”Henry Winkler (promoting his book “I’ve Never Met an Idiot on the River”) and astronaut Mike Massimino (“Known Universe”).
“Jimmy Fallon”Zoe Kravitz (“X-Men: First Class”), Glenn Close (“Damages”) and animal expert Jeff Musial.  Music Guest:  Joe Jackson.  (REPEAT)
“Carson Daly” – Music Guest:  Florence and the Machine.  (REPEAT)
“Lopez Tonight”Patrick Dempsey (“Transformers: Dark of the Moon”) and “The Marriage Ref” host Tom Papa.  Music Guest:  David Cook.

CRAPPY BIRTHDAYS:

–Michael Phelps – 26  (U.S. Olympic swimmer who loves the reefer . . . just LOVES IT!)

–Fantasia (a.k.a. Fantasia Barrino) – 27  (Your third American Idol.) 

–Matisyahu – 33  (Hasidic Jew-turned-reggae superstar.)

–Monica Potter – 40  (The poor man’s Julia Roberts.  She’s the cutie from “Along Came a Spider”, “Patch Adams”, “Saw” and the first couple of seasons of “Boston Legal”.)

–Phil Anselmo – 43  (Pantera’s lead singer.  Rest in peace Dimebag Darrell.)

–Mike Tyson – 45  (Tattooed rapist and THE star of “The Hangover” movies.) 

–Vincent D’Onofrio – 52  (“Law & Order:  Criminal Intent” superstar who was also Private Pyle in “Full Metal Jacket”.)

–David Alan Grier – 56  (Clown-ass.)  (–He WAS Karate Man, sidekick to Blankman!)

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Ivy Winters -21 –  todays birthday bitch has been screwed more than friends of Bernie Maldoff in 29 fine films including:
– My Creepy Uncle
– Couples Bang The Babysitter
– Mommy and Me
– My First Orgy
– He Can Score 4
– Squirt-o-mania Vol 12
– Magical Feet
– My Oldest Eff
– No Pill, No Condom, No Problem

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A guy in Brazil thought his wife was having an affair.  So – the dude picked up the pet poodle and smacked her in the head twice.  So hard that she had some minor injuries – but the dog died!  But cops can’t arrest him.  Why?  Because the women didn’t get seriously hurt and cops didn’t see him use the dog as a weapon.  Clearly – HEADLINE HOOSHE!
NEAT!
  • 1 OUT OF 8 GUYS WEAR THEIR UNDERWEAR AT LEAST TWICE BEFORE WASHING. NEAT!
  • THE TEN MOST COMMON IPHONE PASSCODES? 1234, 0000, 2580, 1111, 5555, 5683, 0852, 2222, 1212, 1998. NEAT!
  • THE KEY TO BEING RICH BY MIDDLE AGE IS TO PULL IN $200,000 A YEAR BY AGE 35.
  • THE AVERAGE MAN SPENDS OVER $40,000 ON A WOMAN FROM THE TIME HE MEETS HER UNTIL THEY GET MARRIED.
  • WOMEN STILL OUTNUMBER MEN BUT IT’S GETTING CLOSER.
  • THE COUNTRY IS GETTING OLDER
  • OLD AGE KEEPS THE NUMBER OF WOMEN HIGHER
  • BELIEVE IT OR NOT, THERE ARE MORE MEXICANS IN THIS COUNTRY THAN BEFORE
  • MAINE IS THE OLDEST STATE (PEOPLES AGE)…UTAH IS THE YOUNGEST
  • MARRIED HOUSEHOLDS ARE AT AN ALL-TIME LOW.
  • SIX QUOTES THAT AREN’T ACTUALLY IN THE BIBLE BUT PEOPLE THINK THEY ARE
    • God helps those who help themselves
    • This too shall pass
    • Spare the rod, spoil the child.
    • Satan tempted Eve to eat the forbidden apple
    • God works in mysterious ways
    • Cleanliness is next to godliness.

Check out the 8AM podcast for our SEXY TIME FUN FACTS –

WE HAD 2 FAIL STORIES INVOLVING BACHELOR PARTIES!  THIS LED US TO OUR SEXY TIME TOPIC….BACHELOR/BACHELORETTE PARTY STORIES!

WOODY ASKED WHAT IS THE WORST THING THAT YOU HAVE EVER SEEN HAPPEN AT THESE PARTIES?!




CONTESTANT #1 – Richard

CATEGORY: WILD CARD

QUESTION: What state is the Grand Canyon in?

ANSWER: ARIZONA (HE SAID NEVADA)

HERE’S THE PHONE NUMBER: 573-308-2448

CONTESTANT #2 – Andrew

CATEGORY: MOVIE TRIVIA

QUESTION: Who played the part of the Indians radio announcer in the movie Major League

ANSWER:  Bob Uecker (HE HAD NO IDEA)

HERE’S THE PHONE NUMBER: 314-378-7460

HERE IS THE PRESS YOUR LUCK FACEBOOK PAGE….CLICK HERE.

You might have already heard this..it happened last month but there has been a lot of coverage in the past few days.  There is a cop in NY named Mario Masic.  There was a woman who saw a cop handcuffing some guy and she started to tape him.  He wasn’t happy – he told her to stop video taping him.  He got pissed.  He let the dude he had in the handcuffs go and arrest HER!  He charged her with obstructing government business.  He said he felt THREATENED by her!  Wait – it’s 100% legal to video tape.  WTF! Here’s some updates: There was a rally to support her last week.  The cops responded by using rulers to measure how far each car was parked from the car and ticketed the people who were more than 12 inches away.  Just to be dicks.  WTF! 2nd UPDATE: She was released and will face no charges.

About war1057

Woody and Rizzuto: Insensitivity Training For A Politically Correct World. Class is in session Mon-Fri 6am-10am (central). Stream live: http://1057thepoint.com
This entry was posted in Comedy, Epic, Funny, Radio. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to THURSDAY SHOW BLOG (6/30/2011)

  1. Tim Selby says:

    You guys freakin rock. Sucks I work nights and can’t hear y’all live but I love your podcasts. Suck wood ninjas.

    Tim from St. Louis.

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