MONDAY SHOW BLOG (7/18/2011)


Today’s Anthem: The Helping Coach Crooner!


Here is the swoot mash-up that Woody played today with Green Day and Queen:

  • A mailman in California felt threatened after a Chihuahua CIRCLED him three to four times.  He stopped delivering the neighborhood’s mail and said the people would have to get their mail at the post office until the woman got rid of the dog.  THE WOMAN DID GET RID OF IT! RING THE BELL ON THE MAILMAN! *DING*
  • Manorexia is on the rise….Experts are warning that the pressure to look like a male model is driving more men to develop dangerous eating disorders.  *DING*


Here is today’s DISCOUNT NEWS. Remember – these stories may be a few days old…but if you haven’t heard it – it’s news to you!

  • It’s hotter than hell here…it’s actually hotter than hell everywhere. We may enjoy ice cream to beat the heat…but they have a different way to cope.  DOG SOUP! The soup is made of boiled dog meat with vegetables and spices.  South Koreans believe it helps their bodies stay regulated and avoid over heating.  Now in Korea, dogs are bred for food.  Like we do cows here.  Prices of dog meat are actually cheaper than chicken in Korea…so that’s why it’s so popular….WHO THE HELL EATS SOUP TO BEAT THE HEAT?!
  • Apparently when the Chinese go to space they like to eat some pretty regular food.  Braised chicken, steamed fish, dog meat..the regulars.  Wait…WHAT?!  Yeah – they claim it’s the most nutritious thing n the world.  Gross!
    ****52% of you guys said you would try DOG MEAT?! WTF!****
  • There’s a new food debuting at this year’s California State Fair.  Usually when a state farm debuts food it’s awesome…because usually someone deep fries the crap out of something.  Well – not here.  In California they got a grilled cheese sandwich…WITH DRY MAGGOTS?! Besides this…they also sell deep fried scorpions and raccoon on a stick! GOO!
  • According to a new survey by Boboli – here is the status of pizza in the U.S today.  America’s favorite pizza topping is Pepperoni.  The next three are all veggies…mushrooms, onions, and peppers.  43% of Americans says the crust is the most important part of the pizza.  Only 22% say more topping the better. 
  • How does this sound?  We all talk about the sweet n savory.  We are TRUE advocates of that.  But how about this….GUMMY BEAR BRATWURST.  They actually mix real gummy bears with bratwurst meat.  Apparently people love them.  He claims he’s selling 50 to 70 pounds of these things in a week.  He also says he is the only person in the country selling them.
  • Casey Anthony was released from jail yesterday….right now she has $537.68 in her bank account and two heavily armed cops.  There were about 300 protesters outside…just yelling at her when she left.  She headed to her attorney’s office in Orlando.  She can’t go to her parents house…she screwed that one up big time.  According to PEOPLE magazine…she may think about a criminal justice degree.  Are you ISHING me?! But she’s not out scott free yet.  Prosecutors are suing her, a Texas nonprofit group is suing her, and a woman named Zenaida Gonzalez – the name of the fake nanny Casey claimed kidnapped Caylee – is suing her saying she has been harassed and unable to find work because of Anthony’s lies!
  • Last year a dude in Ohio had a bear who mauled and killed a guy.  Last August – a dude who took care of his animals…was killed while he was feeding him.  It was an accident.  Well – they now found the bears owner…in his bedroom…and the dude choked to death on a dildo. He had zippers, and masks, and clamps, and whips and all kinds of crap…dude was into some freaky ish.  Cops say that they are currently looking into the death but believe someone had to help him into all the crazy gear he was wearing.



  • The Cardinals lost to the Reds last night 3-1.  With the loss the team is now second in the NL Central…tied with….the Pirates.  Yes – the Pittsburgh Pirates.  The Cardinals are off tonight but take on the Mets in New York tomorrow night.
  • Japan beat the U.S. for their first World Cup title yesterday beating the US 3-1 on penalty kicks after coming from behind in the final minutes of extra time to tie the game 2-2.  This was Japan’s first appearance in the finals and they had lost to the U.S. in their first 25 meetings. This is a story you will hear for the next 4 years….why?…here is one headline I saw this morning….“Yesterday’s victory gives Japan something to cheer about as they continue to deal with the effects of the devastating March 11th earthquake and tsunami.”
  • Check it – Derek Jeter has topped the Harris Poll as America’s most popular athlete.  Falling out of the top 10 are: Brett Favre;  LeBron James; Drew Brees; and Dale Earnhardt Jr. Here’s the top 10:
    1. Derek Jeter

    2. Peyton Manning
    3. (tie) Kobe Bryant
    3. (tie) Michael Jordan ((Which is odd because dude has been out of the game for a LONG time now))
    5. Tiger Woods
    6. Tom Brady
    7. (tie) Albert Pujols
    7. (tie) Hines Ward
    9. Derrick Rose
    10. Aaron Rodgers


  • J-Lo and Marc Anthony have broke up…Apparently it’s because he has a terrible attitude. We think she may have some problem with HER….because she’s been divorced THREE TIMES!
  • Harry Potter is breaking all kinds of records with their latest movie.  Apparently it’s all about the Potter as it got the best one day and weekend opening figures in the history of the cinema.
  • Men of Certain Age….One of Woody’s favorite shows has been canceled.
  • Remember that 51 year old no named actor who named that 16 year old bitch?!  Wow!  They went on Good Morning America to defend their marriage…You can see the video clicking HERE.
  • Jerry Seinfeld has joined Twitter….click HERE to follow him.
  • Howie Mandel is developing a new show called Celebrity Stand-Up.  Apparently it’s celebrities who have no background in comedy. 


“Letterman” – U2 band members Bono and The Edge (Broadway’s “Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark”).  Plus:  a performance from “Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark”.

“Conan”Bryan Cranston (“Breaking Bad”) and comedian Chris Hardwick.  Music Guest:  Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros.

“The Tonight Show”“How I Met Your Mother’s” Neil Patrick Harris (“The Smurfs”) and Buddy Valastro (“Cake Boss”).  Music Guest:  Imelda May.

“Jimmy Kimmel”Roseanne Barr (“Roseanne’s Nuts”) and Aaron Paul (“Breaking Bad”).  Music Guest:  Viva Brother.

“Craig Ferguson”“30 Rock’s” Elizabeth Banks and comedian Rich Fulcher (“Funny or Die Presents…”).

“Jimmy Fallon”Mila Kunis (“Friends with Benefits”) and Engadget editor Joshua Topolsky.  Music Guest:  Wye Oak.  (Video)

“Carson Daly” – 15-year-old Liana Liberato, star of a movie called “Trust”, about a girl who meets her first boyfriend online, and he turns out to be an internet predator.  (–It’s directed by David Schwimmer.)  Music Guest:  Goldheart Assembly.  (REPEAT)

“Lopez Tonight”Piers Morgan.  Music Guest:  Jordan Knight.

–Chace Crawford – 26
–Ryan Cabrera – 29
–Kristen Bell – 31
–Jared Hess – 32
–Penny Hardaway – 40
–Puck – 43
–Vin Diesel – 44
–Jack Irons – 49
–Ricky Skaggs – 57
–Richard Branson – 61
–Steve Forbes – 64
–Martha Reeves – 70
–Joe Torre – 71
–Dion Di Mucci – 72
–John Glenn – 90
–Nelson Mandela – 93

Veronica Jet – 29 – today’s birthday whore bag has been scored on more than the U.S.A Women’s soccer team in 247 fine films including:
– Gov Lov: Elliot Splits Her Story
– Anaconda and Lil Mamas
– Who Let The Whores Out
-Anal Authority
– Fill Her Up
– Ass Farmer
– Black In the Crack
– Cheek Splitters
– Grip and Cram Johnson’s Arch Enemies Vol 2


TUESDAY:A woman from Ireland had died….from an infection….from a dog…that she was banging.  She met a dude on a bestiality website and he said that his German Shepard would bang her.  Well – when the action started…she had a severe anabolic shock reaction…and died instantly.  The man was charged with buggery and the woman…who passed…was a mother of 4.

WEDNESDAY:A Florida man with a soft spot for Casey Anthony allegedly dove off a pier to out swim police after a drunken fistfight over last week’s not-guilty verdict turned ugly. Robert Aydin Hakimoglu, 42, was arrested early Sunday morning after allegedly punching a woman in the face and then leaping into the Indian River Lagoon to escape arrest. After searching the lagoon for two hours, officers found Hakimoglu tucked in bed at his parents’ house. “We found him sleeping up in his bedroom,” cops said.  Forty two and living at home?  AWESOME! AND HOOSHE!

THURSDAYJustin Dale Little Jim (foreals name) broke into an adult video store who broke in and didn’t steal anything.  But he did decide to have grab a blow up sex doll and attempt to have sex with it…that’s right…ATTEMPT to have sex with it.  Weird correct?  He couldn’t perform but he was arrested.  Total HOOSHE!  LITTLE JIM?!  SERIOUSLY!FRIDAY: In Orlando, 28 year old Elvin Garcia passed out drunk inside his mobile home.  In the process, he left his 18 month old son unattended.  The kid…decided to grab a beer…head outside…sit on the front porch…and drink it.  A neighbor noticed the kid sitting on the porch getting crunked up and called 911.  Cops arrested the dude for child neglect.  Was the boy DRUNK?! Actually no…he didn’t drink that much.  The kids mom?  She’s in a mental hospital.  WTF!

FRIDAY: In Orlando, 28 year old Elvin Garcia passed out drunk inside his mobile home.  In the process, he left his 18 month old son unattended.  The kid…decided to grab a beer…head outside…sit on the front porch…and drink it.  A neighbor noticed the kid sitting on the porch getting crunked up and called 911.  Cops arrested the dude for child neglect.  Was the boy DRUNK?! Actually no…he didn’t drink that much.  The kids mom?  She’s in a mental hospital.  WTF!


The other day…witness say that a man got out of his car in the middle of traffic because he had to fart.  He stopped in the middle of the road, hopped out of his car and started running around the car, shouted, “I HAVE TO FART.” According to cops – he got back in the car and drove away…but he was caught later…What state?!  OHIO!

About war1057

Woody and Rizzuto: Insensitivity Training For A Politically Correct World. Class is in session Mon-Fri 6am-10am (central). Stream live:
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