FRIDAY SHOW BLOG (7/29/2011)

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NINJA STICKER C/O WOODY AND RIZZUTO
401 S. 18th St
St. Louis, MO 63103

DONNIE’S WEEK IN RAGE VIDEO :



Hey there it’s Lux again. Although it’s really early I have such a good time being here! I’m so lucky they invite me to fill in! Hope today is as much fun as yesterday! I know,I know I shit rainbows and sunshine…glass half full kinda gal. With a lil hard work and concentration, I’ll screw up less than yesterday haha! Thanks for being so patient with a fill in Ninja!

OH AND IF YOU WANT TO HELP ME GO OVER THE EDGE OF LUMIERE PLACE PLEASE DONATE TO MY PAGE FOR SPECIAL OLYMPICS,I NEED YOUR HELP! WWW.SOMO.ORG/LUX

Today’s Anthem: Thom West

Fruit Box Challenge Winner(And off the table FOREVER): Wind Beneath My Wings-Bette Midler

2. She’s like the Wind-Swayze


3.Hello-Lionel Ritchie

4.Dancing Queen -Abba

5. Everything I do-Bryan Adams

6. MMM Bop-Hansen

7.We Are The World USA for AFRICA

8. Tip Toe Through The Tulips-Tiny Tim

9.It’s Raining Men-Weather Girls

10. Do You Really Want to Hurt Me- Culture Club

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Here is today’s DISCOUNT NEWS. Remember – these stories may be a few days old…but if you haven’t heard it – it’s news to you!

-Police in Arizona arrest guy for allegedly killing his fiance and living with her corpse. After getting a tip from the guys father the police found the woman dead and in advanced stages of decomp….EW!

-Casey Anthony wants over 1.5 million dollars for her first tv interview. Should this chick make money over being accused of killing her child. Bidding wars begin over this chick,arg!

-How HOOSHE do you have to be to get kicked out of Walmart! This woman got kicked out of a Walmart for wearing a string bikini! She was embarrasses and horrified that they kicked her out and that she will never shop there again….we say yes please! Walmart employee said she had been verbally abusing customers as well.

According to a man in Colorado, a leafy green Jesus has grown on a telephone pole near his home. Take a look what do you think? Police warn those heading to see the diety that they should not climb up to him as they could get hit with 765,000 volts of divine intervention.

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-Cards lost to the Astro’s last night 5-3
-Cubs in town tonight,Edwin Jackson getting his first start. First Pitch is at 715pm

-Former New York Yankee’s pitcher Hideki Irabu was found dead,ruled a suicide. He was supposed to be a big deal when they brought him over from Japan in 1997 and was a mega fail.

-Chad Ochocinco is now a New England Patriot, the Bengals will get two draft picks for him. Other players that got released yesterday are Vince Young by the Titans, Nate Clements by the 49ers and Jake Delhomme by the Browns.

-Finally this video surfaced of Troy Polamalu….Click here to view, don’t worry it’s fake!


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-Yesterday Lead Singer of Disturbed has tweeted saying a “indefinate hiatus” is whats up for the band. YIKES! No good for Disturbed fans.

If you want to see the Top 30 music video’s of all time as chosen by Time Magazine check out the list here

-Betty White says no to marine who wants to take her to ball,she said no 😦 she is busy. Linda Hamilton from the “Terminator” movies is stepping in to go with Sergeant Ray Lewis.PS We will no longer be talking about these youtub video celeb date requests.

-Enrique Iglesias says, “I have the smallest penis in the world, I’m serious!” For some bizarre reason he brought three guys onstage then sat down on a bench with them and started quizzing them about sex. He asked them what age they lost their virginity at, then told them he waited till he was 25 because he didn’t want to pay for it like his friends did with hookers. But then back pedaled and said he actually lost it at 17, and said that he lasted a a mighty 10 seconds. The guys also lifted their shirts to compare chest and drank shots of whisky. WEIRDO.

-Woman wins the ultimate death pool. An ipod touch is the prize! Four people actually got the date correct but only the first winner will receive the prize! Click Here to check out the site!

-Cowboys and Aliens(PG 13)- Daniel Craig,Harrison Ford, and Olivia Wilde.

-The Smurfs (PG)- Neil Patrick Harris

-Crazy Stupid Love(PG-13) Steve Carell,Ryan Gossling, Julianne Moore,Emma Stone, Marisa Tomei, and Kevin Bacon

Weekend TV Reminders:
The Tonight Show/Leno: Gillian Anderson,Aziz Ansari, Kelly Rowland
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon- Brian Williams
Sunday:
Breaking Bad on AMC
True Blood,Curb Your Enthusiasm and Entourage on HBO

CRAPPY BIRTHDAYS:
Arnold Schwarzenegger-64
J.K. Rowling-46
Wesley Snipes-49
Wil Wheaton(Gordie in StandBy Me)-39
Mark Cuban(Owner of the Dallas Mavericks)-53
Jaime Pressly-34
Rico Rodriguez II-13
Hilary Swank-37
Tom Green-40
Vivica A Fox-47
Lisa Kudrow-48
B.J. Novak-32
Dean Cain-45
Laurence Fishburne-50
Martina McBride(Country Superstar)-45
Geddy Lee(RUSH’s singer)-58
Delta Burke-55
M.Shadows-30

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-65 yr old woman faces trial for Truck Nutz/Bull ball. She was cited with an over $400 ticket/fine for this offense. HAHA!

FRIDAY FAIL STORIES


-Old WOman in Colorado lost her car keys in a parking lot at the grocery store. She got a note saying her keys had been found but she had to pay $50. Woman calls the cops,cops pull a sting,extortionist up’s price
-Dude pays his dude friend in cash and pain pills to shoot him up in order to get sympathy from his ex girlfriendto get her back. He gets shot in the arm,ends up both parties getting charged with felonies and the ex-girlfriend doesn’t even visit him in the hospital!
-A man in australia who was wanted for breaking and entering locked himself in a 4th story apartment when the cops caught up to him. The cops broke in only to hear him groaning from outside the window he had jumped out in order to escape. Well he didn’t escape, he got himself wedged between a retaining wall and a fence,puncturing his lung and breaking a rib. Escape Fail!
-Last Week this dude in florida finds his ladies gas cap open,so he decides to suck the gas out with an electric leaf blower. A spark from the leaf blower ignites the gas and blows up the car.
-Ninja Fail-13 year old boy in Virginia and a couple of friends we’re pretending to be Ninja’s and playing in the back yard. The boy put a sharpened bamboo stick down the back of his shirt like a sword. The stick slid around to his side and when he jumped and landed it impailed him through the neck….view photo below! Ninja Fail!
-Two 62 yr old Nudists are hurt on Jet ski’s. The woman had gashes and bruises and the man had two broken bones and a cut on his head. Naked JetSki Fail!
-Mom Fail- a woman in Calirofnia was standing in front of her mobile home when she found waht she thought was a novelty lighter shaped like a gun. She picked it up,put a cigarette in her mouth and pulled the trigger to light it and nothing happened. So she pulled it a second time and BANG it fired. So it wasn’t a lighter in fact it was a gun. The bullet hit the ground and ricocheted off the ground and hit her daughter. No charges have been filed. Fake Lighter/Gun Fail.

Normal By the Numbers-How do you Match up with the Average Guy

1.Do you care what people think of your car? Rizz says YES. 54% know people judge them by their car and want to impress them. Woody doesn’t care.
2. Do you get manicures/pedicures? WAR says NO!
3. What is the ultimate man drink? 35% beer, then Whisky,  and lastly Scotch.
4. How many suits do you own?Woody owns 1 Rizz owns 2 Average man has 1-3 Suits
5.How many pairs of shoes? Average man has 4-8 pair of shoes
6. What part of a mans body is a woman most attracted too? 38% of men think abs
7. Do you work out? 13% don’t work out
8. Is it ok for a man to cry? 4% say real man never cry
9.  Would you say that you’ve ever been sexually harrassed? 78% say NO 16% say they have but it didn’t bother them and only 1% reposted taking action.
10. If you could get away with it would you punch your boss in the face?31% say yes, 48% say they’d punch a co-worker
11. What do you consider a status symbol? 37% say a family,29% say a high profile career, 23% say a hot wife, 7% said a great house and 1% said a membership to an exclusive club.

DEAD TO REEL or COMPLETLY RETARTED:

1. The average household can save 1,100 gallons of water a year by peeing in the shower. DEAD TO REEL
2. The Smallest cell in the human body is a womans eg, about half the size of other cells. COMPLETLY RETARTED
3.Reddbull gor it’s name because it’s made with some of the same stimulants that are used at rodeos to get bulls to kick,snort, and look angry. COMPLETLY RETARTED
4. Green bean casserole was originally used to feed farm animals. COMPLETLY RETARTED
5. Taking Viagra the night before a flight makes jet lag worse. COMPLETLY RETARTED

About war1057

Woody and Rizzuto: Insensitivity Training For A Politically Correct World. Class is in session Mon-Fri 6am-10am (central). Stream live: http://1057thepoint.com
This entry was posted in Comedy, Epic, Funny, Radio. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to FRIDAY SHOW BLOG (7/29/2011)

  1. John says:

    13% of men don’t work out… really? I’d realistically put that number around 50%.

  2. The Henk says:

    Lux, great job! I love that you kept some of the songs in the pod casts too. Now if we can get Patrico to do the same…

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