Today’s Anthem: Yolanda jazzes it up!


Woody says that he is officially 1-0.  His wife is baby crazy and last night she said it was, “GO TIME!”  Well – Wood said no it wasn’t “GO TIME!” and he said he was way to busy…BOOM!  He says that when she said it was time…he lost the thrill.


1. Where’s Waldo?

2. Mad Max Beyond Thunderbone

3.  Master of Ceremonies

4. The Blue Man Group (The Mayor, Rizz,  Woody, Manballs & Patrico all endorse)

Arch West has died…Arch was the genius who created DORITOS.  He passed away at the age of 97 from heart surgery complications. When he gets buried – he wants the delicious chips to be sprinkled over the urn that he is going to be buried in.  Sad day for all of us DORITOS fans….


A 55-year-old Florida man was arrested Monday on a charge of aggravated assault after cops were told he tried to run down his son after the two were fighting over the son taking his sister to get a tattoo. According to the cops, Michael Turner became upset when his 17-year-old son returned to their home just after 6 p.m. Deputies said Turner then got into his car and drove at his son twice. Rundown over a tattoo?  Total hooshe!

  • Last week a dude in Texas was executed and his last meal request was OUTRAGEOUS! He got chicken fried steaks, bacon cheeseburgers, omelet, okra, bbq, fajitas, root beer, ice cream, and fudge.  Well – a state senator got word of this and wrote the Texas Department of Criminal Justice.  He called for them to end the special last meal policy IMMEDIATELY.  And – they agreed!  The justice system said: Effective immediately, no such accommodations will be made. 
  • This is awesome – for the 2nd time in three days – some a-hole tried to break into someone’s house and was shot and killed by the homeowner.  Police in North St. Louis said the home owner came home early yesterday morning to find a burglar in his home..and he capped his ass.  The homeowner wasn’t arrested.  The other incident happened last Friday in South St. Louis when a burglar was shot and killed by a man who was staying at the home while it was being renovated.  That dude wasn’t arrested either.
  • Starting next week a town in Alabama is launching an alternative sentencing program that will give people the choice of going to jail or going to church.  The could repay their debt to society by going to church every Sunday for a year – or the could go to jail.  The local branch of the ACLU thinks this is a TERRIBLE idea, and it violates the Constitution.  We asked out listeners: Do you like this idea?!


  • With the 4-2 loss to the Phillies – the Braves left it wide open for the Cards to gain a game and share the Wild Card with Atlanta.  All they needed to do was beat the team with the worst record in baseball.  And…in the 10th inning….the Astro’s bunted home the game winning run to give them the 5-4 lead.  So – the Cards are still 1.0 game back in the Wild Card race and with 2 games to go time is running out.  Cards play Houston again today…first pitch is at 7:05.
  • In the AL Wild Card…With the Red Sox losing – Boston has now officially let a 9 game Wild Card lead completely disappear as the Tampa Bay Rays tied up the race last night with a win.  Both teams have two games left and if they end the season with a tie a 1 game playoff will be played in Tampa on Thursday to decide the Wild Card winner.
  • Another real quick MLB note: Ozzie Guillen was released as the manager of the Chicago White Sox yesterday.  All rumors point to him becoming the Florida Marlins manager for the 2012 season but no word for Florida if that will happen.  In a COMPLETELY UNRELATED NOTE (sarcasm)….Florida Marlins manager Jack McKeon said yesterday that he will not return to manage the team next year.
  • A beat up Tony Romo led the Dallas Cowboys to a MNF win over the Redskins last night.  Oddly enough even though the Cowboys won 18-16…not one single touchdown was scored by Dallas.  Their kicker Dan Bailey put away 6 field goals on the way to the win. 
  • Finally – the Blues are back in action tonight against Wild for a preseason game in Minnesota.  The team announced yesterday that there is no time table for Perron’s return…but he is back with the team and working on coming back to the ice as soon as possible.


  • Bristol Palin was at a bar with a camera crew that was filming for her new reality show.  Bristol was on the mechanical bull…and apparently got heckled.  Some dude yelled: “Did you ride Levi like that?  Your mother is a whore.” She then started bashing on this dude because he was a homosexual.  She even called his “other” his wife.  He went on to call her mom the devil and say she was white ‘effin’ trash. 
  • A woman has posted an angry message on some website.  She claims that she has a little special something left over from Jesse James.  Apparently Jesse gave her a STD.  Check the full post here.
  • CD’s released of note: Wilco, Switchfoot, & Carolina Liar!

Gwyneth Paltrow is 39
Lil Wayne is 29
Avril Lavigne is 27
Meat Loaf is 64
Stephan Jenkins is 47
Wilford Brimley is 77

PhotobucketCytherea – 30 – Today’s birthday girl has been scored on more than the Atlanta Braves in the month of September in 325 fine films including:
– Cytheria AKA Filthy Whore
– Tails From The Toilet
– Double Teams Vol 6
– I’ve Never Done That Before Vol 14
– Semen Demons
– The Bigger The Blacker The Better
– Interracial Anal Invaders
– Creamy Faces
– Flirtin And Squirtin Vols 1 & 2
– Anal Surprise Party


  • The creator of the City Museum was operating a bulldozer the other day and unfortunately the machine overturned and it killed him.  SUCKS!
  • A dude was 15 years old and his mom abandoned him.  She took his younger brother and left him behind.  Fast forward 32 years old – Ken hasn’t had any contact with his mom and now the mom is asking for $750 bucks a month!  AND SHE MAY GET IT! We are talking about CANADA here but the Canadian Family Relations Act says adult children are responsible for legally supporting their parent who are dependent on a child.  UNREAL!  His lawyers are fighting this nonsense…SUCKS!
  • An 8- year old man was enjoying a day at an exotic animal farm in Ohio when things went horribly wrong.  A giant kangaroo got loose and beat him for about 15 minutes.  SUCKS!
  • Just outside of Boston – a flat bed truck was carrying 400 pounds of tires lost one of them went fell off and went into oncoming traffic and smashed through the window of a 27 year old driver..he died.  SUCKS!
  • Two drug deals in the UK were in jail (one of which is named Richard Johnson) after they admitted they attacked a late paying customer by putting his wong in a hair straightening iron.  SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!
  • Cops in Florida are looking out for 5-8 cars….because someone hit an old man while he was crossing the street..one person stopped and the guy was OK…it was the 5-8 cars after THAT that killed him.  OOFAH!
  • A 36 year old dude picked up a hooker.  She said it would be $60 bucks for her to perform on him.  She tried to take more money.  So they started fighting.  Then – he began to taze the hooker.  Cops showed up and arrested both of them…but it gets worse…the hooker…was a DUDE!
  • Congrats to Ivan Mendel – he was crowned the dumpling eating champion in Ukraine.  He ate 10 dumplings in 30 seconds.  His jubilation was short lived…he collapsed and died of a heart attack!
  • A woman in Honduras flagged down a cab for a ride to the hospital.  When she got in and told the driver – she told him that she was in labor and in pain.  The driver – kicked the woman out of the car.  She called for an ambulance…she popped the kid right there alone on the sidewalk.  SUCKS!


CHECK THE 8AM PODCAST FOR GOTTGAME WITH MASTERS. Check out his website by clicking HERE.

Also – want to buy or sell used games?


About war1057

Woody and Rizzuto: Insensitivity Training For A Politically Correct World. Class is in session Mon-Fri 6am-10am (central). Stream live: http://1057thepoint.com
This entry was posted in Comedy, Epic, Funny, Radio. Bookmark the permalink.

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