Today’s Anthem: TARD




1. Spiderman (Woody, Rizz, Patrico, & The Mayor all endorse!)

2. The Dirty Dog (MASTERS endorses)

3. Fugly Kid Joe

4. Mammie Gram

[audio ]

  • It’s a toss up on who’s side to be on here….check out this video..two women are arguing with a McDonald’s cashier, and one of them slapped him.  He slapped back, and then the two women pounced.  So the guy started beating both of these bitches with a metal rod.  The cops were called and he was arrested.  Turns out he was on parole and served ten years for manslaughter.  Two women were charged with disorderly conduct and one of them has a fractured skull.  Check out this video!
  • Schools in eastern Ohio are closed today, so that authorities can deal with a MASS BREAKOUT of exotic animals.  The owner of an animal preserve died, and somehow 48 animals got loose….including bears, lions, tigers, cheetahs, wolves, giraffes, and camels.  Cops and SWAT teams with night vision were hunting them down last night, and had killed half of them as of midnight.
  • The Occupy St. Louis protesters, are inviting people to come on down and watch game 1 of the World Series for free on the giant big screen.  The game will be shown WITHOUT commercials – in it’s place there will be the live stream of the other Occupy groups.  Neato!
  • A teacher in Massachusetts has decided that they will never celebrate Columbus Day and they must be careful with Thanksgiving because of their persecution of the people that were annihilated and kids will not be allowed to dress up for Halloween because of it’s connection of witchcraft. 
  • Speaking of Halloween – a survey showed that kids prefer mini candy bars than full size ones.  WHAT?! That makes ZERO sense! The third most popular thing to get? Lollipops.  And then stickers came next followed by money.  Least popular?  Toothbrushes, coupons, fruit, pencils, and cookies. 
  • WHO FRIGGIN CARES: Chaz Bono has survived yet another elimination. That’s awesome.  Or in all honesty…WHO FRIGGIN CARES?

  • The Cardinals and Rangers kick off the 2011 World Series tonight here in St. Louis.  The Cards will send Chris Carpenter to the mound to go against Texas’ C.J Wilson.  First pitch at Busch is scheduled for 7:05!
  • The Blues got shutout by the Kings last night 5-0 in L.A.  The team heads home on Friday for a Blues Student night game against the Hurricanes – then they head back out on the road for a Canadian road trip.  Game time on Friday is 7PM.
  • We reported this at the end of the show yesterday – but in case you missed it – Carson Palmer was officially traded to the Oakland Raiders yesterday for a 2012 first round draft pick and the possibility of a 2013 first round pick.  It’s still up in the air if Palmer will start this weekend – but if he doesn’t – the team has their bye next weekend and that would give him enough time to learn the new offense.
  • And finally – NBA players and owners met for an ungodly 16 hours yesterday and it went pretty well – so well – they are continuing talks today.  The two sides are still working on the issue for splitting revenues and salary cap.  The season was supposed to start on November 1st – but the first two weeks have already been canceled. 


  • Charlie Sheen’s new sitcom called Anger Management is still looking for a home.   Apparently Comedy Central, TV Land, USA, and FX are all rumored to have it.
  • Two And A Half Men – ratings are still dropping…but they still aren’t below the ratings that Men had last year.
  • Game 6 of the NLCS only seen by 5.9 million people.  Jersey Shore brought in more viewers…hell, even the show  Blue Bloods brought in more people. 
  • If you missed the Shia LaDouche fight – again…check it out HERE!

Evander Holyfield is 49
Ty Pennington is 47
Trey Parker is 42
John Lithgow is 66
Christ Kattan is 41
Michael Gambon is 71
Jon Favreau is 45

  • Victoria Lawson – 26 – Today’s bday bitch has turned more DP’s than Rafael Furcal in 63 fine films including:
    • It’s OK, She’s My Stepdaughter
    • Every Last Drop Vol 15
    • Innocent Until Proven Filthy
    • Daddy’s Little Whore Vol 3
    • Stretched Open Slimy Vagina


  • A Detroit-area man was arrested for allowing his 9-year-old daughter to drive him around while he was drunk. At 3 a.m., a man ambled into a gas station in suburban Detroit, and it was clear he had been drinking. Surveillance video showed the suspect telling a gas station clerk that he has a designated driver – a pint-size designated driver. The gas station surveillance camera caught the 9-year-old chauffeur alongside her drunk and dancing father as they headed back toward the big red van he uses for work. Someone else called 911 and said the girl was driving pretty well. When police pulled the van over they found a driver sitting on a booster seat who calmly explained her father had been drinking whiskey. “She actually engaged the uniformed officer and asked him why he was pulling her over, that she was driving pretty good,” Grant said.

  • Cops in Cali went to a Motel 6 to check out a report that a woman was running around naked.  When they showed up they found a woman in the bathtub…naked…scratching at her eyes so bad that it was almost out of its socket.  OOFAH!
  • Last weekend a chick in Chicago got into a fight…they started getting physical.  The woman grabbed a box of cupcakes and started throwing them at the husband one by one.  The guy called the cops and said he feared for his safety.  SHE GOT ARRESTED FOR DOMESTIC BATTERY!
  • Last week – a high school math teacher in France sprayed herself with a flammable substance and set herself on fire on the playground during recess.  Nobody is sure why she did it.  Another teacher said the incident described the woman as quote, “A human torch.”
  • A Vietnamese woman, sick and tired of her husbands cheating and physical abuse,  drugged him and cut off her husbands penis using a pair of scissors! She threw the dong out into a river before calling the cops and turning herself in.  BITCH BE TRIPPIN!
  • A woman in Washington was in court last week on a charge of domestic violence assault after she tried to decapitate her husband in his sleep with a POWER SAW! Cops who came to the house say they could hear the man screaming, “You tried to cut my head off, you’re going to jail.”  She was arrested and no word why she was trying to behead her husband. BBT!
  • Last week cops in Florida got a call about an argument at a bbq.  When the cops got to the house, they found a woman standing in the driveway only wearing her panties.  Was she drunk?  YUP! The cops were told that this other chick was thrown out of the party after she got angry because people were eating her BBQ ribs.  She started making a scene and when she was asked to leave, she kicked two holes in some drywall inside and threatened to beat everyone up.  She was arrested…BBT!

  • Anaheim Angels MLB player Howie Kendrick made headlines in the worst way today by refusing to autograph an eight-year-old boy’s baseball card. The incident happened last month while the Angels player was at home and a neighbor kid politely asked him to sign one of his cards. RadarOnline reports that Kendrick blatantly told him no, making the child cry. The boy’s mother, Shelly Meagher, told the news source that she and her family had been respectful to Howie Kendrick all season while he was living in their neighborhood. Her son approached Kendrick when he was in the process of moving. For whatever reason he wasn’t in the best of moods and told the boy, “It’s not going to happen.” The mom then said that the player said they were rude for even asking.  The wife then came out and said, “It’s rude you’re even still standing there.”


Mother Effin Poison – Every Rose Has It’s Thorn



About war1057

Woody and Rizzuto: Insensitivity Training For A Politically Correct World. Class is in session Mon-Fri 6am-10am (central). Stream live:
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