THURSDAY SHOW BLOG (11/3/2011)


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Today’s Anthem: BRET MICHAELS (WOOO!)

WHERE CAN YOU FIND THE SHOW THIS WEEK?

  • TONIGHT: WAR HAPPY HOUR AT THE HOTSHOTS IN ST. CHARLES FROM 5p-7p.  IF YOU NEED DIRECTIONS OF INFO CLICK HERE!

NEAT!

  • A group in South Korea say they’ve proven there’s a real connection between the length of your fingers and the size of your junk.  If the ring finger on your right hand is much shorter or much longer than the index finger onf your right hand…you’re well endowed.  But if your right ring finger and index finger are fairly close to size you have a small weenus.  NEAT!
  • Most popular day to get it on?  Saturday, Friday, Sunday, Wednesday, Monday, Thursday, and then Tuesday.  65% of people say they don’t care what day it is…when it’s go time…its go time.
  • People noises that people complain about most are loud music and construction.  Positive reaction from human noises?  Sounds of neighbors getting it on.  Too funny…and very neat!

  • GOOD NEWS FOR LESBIANS! A new company called Masque Sexual Flavors has a new product for those of us who want to make our partner feel good during foreplay.  It’s a dissolving tongue strip so you don’t have to battle the…ummm…taste! Reminds us of the Listernine ones that give you fresh breath! These strips are designed to BLOCK the taste of naughty parts and naughty juices (gross).  They have flavors like watermelon, strawberry and chocolate.  They are kind of pricey at $12 bucks a pop….but…it’s worth it if you are down for that action and need some help.
  • This is gross.  Like really gross.  There is a type of bacteria called C-Diff.  It infects your intestines, usually after antibiotics have wiped out the good bacteria in your digestive system, and it causes you to have severe diarrhea and painful bloating.  Sucks.  Well 33 year old Jerry Grant lives in Arizona got infected last year.  The only cure for this?  Fecal bacterio-therapy.  Yup – DOODIE TRANSPLANT! Jerry’s wife is donating the poop…which docs will squeeze into his rectum.  Disgusting.
  • A 27 year old Australian model who threw a tampon at a McDonalds drive-thru worker back in October has been sentenced to community service.  She had gone through the drive thru at 3AM and when she got her food she yelled: “Oh, what’s in my fries?!” When the looker went to take a look…the chick to a wet tampon and dabbed it at his hand.  The employee ran the to the sink to wash his hands and the chick threw the tampon at him which missed and “splattered” on a fridge.  The chick is whining now that the fallout from this whole prank has ruined her modeling career.
  • A women in West Virgina got into a fight with her lesbian girlfriend.  The girlfriend got out…and started walking home.  On her way home – she found a hearse at a funeral home with the engine running.  She took it – and headed home.  Well – there was a dead body in the back.  She’s got two charges now since cops caught her.  Thefts and misplacement of a dead body.  SUCKS!

  • Yesterday the Cubs new President Theo Epstein made his first big move, bouncing manager Mike Quade. Of course, everyone in Chicago was hoping that they would bring in Cubs hero Ryne Sandberg…..but that’s not happening. Epstien says he’s looking at people who have coached or managed at the MAJOR league level…..Sandberg hasn’t, so he’s out…..at least in Chicago……BUT the Cardinals got permission from Ryne’s current employer, the Philadelphia Phillies….he’s a minor league coach for them. So he’ll be in the mix….interviewing for the job here with the Cards, along with Terry Francona, Jose Oquendo, Chris Maloney (who manages the Cards Triple-A team) Bobby Valentine and former players Mike Matheny and Joe McEwing. 
  • Maybe you heard…..the Dodgers are for sale……..Mark Cuban’s name is back in the mix as well as former Dodger Owner Peter O’Malley.  Another group of investors is made up of former Dodger players like Steve Garvey and Orel Hershiser.  Right out of left field comes a surprise potential buyer…Donald Trump said that he is considering making a bid for the team…..which will be sold for somewhere between 800 million and $1.4 BILLION!
  • Finally – former NASCAR driver Jeremy Mayfield – who hasn’t raced since he failed a drug test back in 09…..was arrested yesterday. The cops found a TON of stuff in his house…..like meth, about $100,000 worth of stolen property and around 40 different guns.

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  • In Georgia, Authorities say a dog that was hit by a car after it was fed LSD in the Atlanta suburb of Snellville has been euthanized. Police say the dog, Oscar, was given LSD in the form of a gummy worm laced with the drug. Snellville police were sent to a home after neighbors reported a couple of people running down the street naked. Police said that when officers arrived, the man was wearing only socks and the woman was topless as they explained that they’d given Oscar LSD and he was missing. Authorities say the dog was struck by a car on a nearby street. Police said the couple was taken to Eastside Medical Center.

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  • Lohan was sentenced to 30 days in jail yesterday.  The judge says that she could face up to 270 more days if she doesn’t follow her strict program.  Even though she hasn’t even started the sentence she got it rescheduled to 11/9.  Reason being?  They need to reshoot her Playboy spread.  Some people say she will spend 6 days into jail and other reports may say she may just need to check in….and then check out.
  • The most popular video game of all time?!?!?!  ANGRY BIRDS…No ish!  Crazy!
  • Kim Kardashian says that she is disappointed in us for believing that the marriage was a hoax.  She says she did have second thoughts, but she honestly thought she was in love.  Neat! Dr. Drew says that this marriage is insulting to gay people who are fighting to get married.  UH OH! BIG NEWS! Kim is no longer following Kris Humphries on Twitter.
  • Kelly Osborne had to tell her parents that her ex fiance cheated on her….with a tranny.  THAT SUCKS!

CRAPPY BIRTHDAYS:

–DOLPH LUNDGREN – 54
–Phil Simms – 56
–Adam Ant – 57
–Kathy Kinney – 57
–Dennis Miller – 58
–Kate Capshaw – 58
–Roseanne – 59
–Larry Holmes – 62
–SHADOE STEVENS! – 64

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  • Julia Taylor -33 – today’s birthday bitch has shown off the goods in 114 fine films including:
    • Hell is Where The Party Is
    • The Uranus Experiment
    • Euro Angels Vol 11: Pink Tunnels
    • All Sex Casino
    • Black Bastard
    • The Anal Babes of Budapest

SEXY TIME FUN FACTS: LESBIAN STORIES! WOOOOHOOOO!

  • A new study by researchers in Boise State show that women’s sexual preferences are not black and white.  In fact, they found that in a group of straight women 60% were sexually attracted to other women and 45% had kissed a women.  50% of those women have even had fantasies about the same sex!
  • Lesbians are the most loyal partner.  A survey was done from 1975 & 2000 and compared the results.  Only 8% of lesbians have cheated on their spouses.  The heterosexual women are the ones most slutting it up.  The reason that more folks are being monogamous? The fear of HIV and AIDS and STD’s.
LESBIAN CALLERS

CONTESTANT #1 – Andy

QUESTION: TV TRIVIA: What was the favorite food of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

HIS ANSWER: Pizza (THAT WAS CORRECT)

HERE’S THE PHONE NUMBER: NO PHONE NUMBER

CONTESTANT #2 – Jason

QUESTION: WILD CARD: Who is the current governor of Missouri?

HIS ANSWER: Jay Nixon

HERE’S THE PHONE NUMBER: NO PHONE NUMBER

About war1057

Woody and Rizzuto: Insensitivity Training For A Politically Correct World. Class is in session Mon-Fri 6am-10am (central). Stream live: http://1057thepoint.com
This entry was posted in Comedy, Epic, Funny, Radio. Bookmark the permalink.

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