Today’s Anthem: DEMI LOVATO!



Apparently – according to a study done in Germany…my lady will be leaving me soon.  When a female looses a bunch of weight – it’s the first sign that she is about to dump her man.  Well – I say it’s bunk because A) It’s Germany, and B) We’re loosing weight together.

Check out these diets…it’s the 7 Craziest Diets in History:

  1. The Vinegar Diet – drinking vinegar
  2. The Chewing Diet – chewing 32 times and letting food trickle down your throat
  3. The Tape Work Diet – actually eating a tapeworm
  4. The Cigarette Diet – smoking is an appetite suppressant
  5. The Slimming Soap Diet – A soap that could WASH your fat away?!
  6. The Drinking Man’s Diet – It’s like Atkins but you drink hard liquor with every meal
  7. The Cotton Ball Diet – Eat a cotton ball before each meal!

  • Check out Simon Eroro…who works for the Papua New Guinea Post Courier…He was working on a story about a militant group who’ve been crossing into the country through Indonesia…he had to cross river and jungles.  They told him he couldn’t be let into the camp because he was uncircumcised.  HE LET THEM CIRCUMCISE HIM! USING A BAMBOO STICK TO HACK IT OFF! His story led to a major police investigation to protect border invasions and he got the Scoop of the Year award!  Rupert Murdoch was in attendance.  Neato!
  • A woman in Wisconsin was driving home with her cousin when they blew a tire and pulled over to the side of the road.  And neither of them knew how to fix it.  A dude driving by pulled over and helped them.  The girls drove off and about a quarter of a mile down they saw the man’s truck on the side of the road and the wife waving frantically.  They pulled over -the dude had a heart attack!  One of the chicks knows CPR and gave him CPR and kept the man alive! 
  • Never bring a BB Gun to a drug deal.  A man from Oregon got into some kind of confrontation with a drug dealer wound up pulling a gun.  The drug dealer realized it was a BB gun and punched the dude in the face.  The dude hit the ground and cops showed up…and he stood up and cops thought it was a real gun and tazed the crap out of him.  He was taken to jail.

  • File this under WHO DIDN’T SEE THIS COMING….Joe Paterno was FIRED last night in connection with everything going down with that sexual abuse case at Penn State.  Main reason he was fired?  The school says it is in their best interest…but everyone knows it’s because Paterno knew his former Defensive Coordinator raped a young boy back in 2002 – and never told police.  The former coordinator is facing 40 charges and Penn State is cleaning house…the school’s president, athletic director, and Paterno…all gone!  The most ridiculous thing about this…people RIOTED yesterday at Penn State because of the news.  One local news truck was actually over turned and people fell to their knees in the street and cried.  Assistant Coach Tom Bradley will interim the rest of the year.
  • This is crazy.  A catcher for the Washington Nationals named Wilson Ramos was kidnapped at gunpoint yesterday in Venezuela.  The 24 year old – who was a rookie last year – was thrown into an SUV by 4 dudes and the family says they have had no contact with the MLBer. We don’t have a whole lot on this story but this is the first time that an MLB player has ever been abducted – if we hear anything more…we’ll let you know. 
  • The Blues are in action tonight against the Toronto Maple Leafs at the Scott Trade.  Puck drops at 7:00PM and the game can be seen on Fox Sports Midwest.
  • And finally – the Raiders and Chargers meet tonight in the first Thursday night NFL game of the season.  The game is at 6:20 and can be seen on the NFL Network!


  • Eddie Murphy has quit as the host of the Oscars saying that the only way he wanted to do the show was with Brett Ratnor.  So he bounced.  Kinda cool.  No word on a replacement but it’s rumored Billy Crystal may come back and do it.  Also – Brian Glazer is the new producer of the show.  Neato!
  • Glee – the controversial sex episode with some gay sex – was the lowest rated episode of Glee this season.
  • Ashton Kutcher tweeted out his displeasure of the firing of Joe Paterno…he got blown up…and then said he didn’t have the full story and felt bad about the Tweet.
  • George Clooney said he had his first orgasm at age 7 when he climbed a rope.  Gross. He also thinks farts are hilarious.
  • David Hasslehoff is dating a girl and he is older than this chicks mom.
  • Bill Keane – creator of Family Circus – died on Tuesday. 

–Miranda Lambert – 28
–Eve – 33
–Warren G – 41
–Ellen Pompeo – 42
–Tracy Morgan – 43
–SINBAD! – 55
–Mackenzie Phillips – 52
–Russell Johnson – 87

  • Jack Hammer – 48 – this dude has laid more pipe from the local 562 in 387 fine films including:
    • Big Jack Hammer Nails The Booty
    • Circus of Torture
    • Midget Mania
    • Dale’s House of Anal
    • Toilet Tramps 1
    • Bongs and Thongs
    • Poop Chute Debutantes


  • A western Pennsylvania man has been cited for animal cruelty and other crimes because police say he tried to pick a fight with his grandmother’s 15-year-old dog. The suspect knocked on his grandmother’s door on Oct. 10.. When his grandmother let him in, Wooddell allegedly confronted the dog, which was lying on the floor, punched it, and fled. Wooddell had been staying at his grandmother’s home, but she told him he was not welcome there before the incident, the paper notes. Wooddell does not have a listed phone. A relative’s phone could not take incoming calls when The Associated Press tried to located Wooddell for comment Monday morning.Wooddell has been charged with cruelty to animals and disorderly conduct. He was released on $1,000 bond


  • You can catch an STD from the toilet! FALSE!
  • Men enjoy sex more than women: FALSE! Everyone loves sex…come on!
  • You can judge a man’s area by the size of the feet! FALSE!
  • Masturbation causes blindness: FALSE!
  • You can break your penis.  TRUE! You can’t break the “bone” but you can tear it.
  • Avg penis is 8 inches. WRONG! Average size is 6 inches
  • Green M&Ms make you horny.  REALLY?! FALSE!
  • Sting had tantric sex for eight hours straight! FALSE!
  • Hot tubs can prevent pregnancy! FALSE!
  • Inbreeding causes mutant babies.  FALSE!
  • Drinking Mountain Dew decreases sperm count! FALSE!
  • Blue Balls can be fatal.  FALSE!

IF YOU KNEW THAT NOONE ELSE WOULD FIND OUT…NO ONE WOULD EVER KNOW…WOULD YOU TRY OUT HAVING YOUR PROSTATE MILKED….62% of our listeners said they would and you HAVE to listen to the 8AM Podcast and check out this creepy ugly conversation!

CONTESTANT #1 – Conner



HERE’S THE PHONE NUMBER: NOPE – He got it right.

CONTESTANT #2 – Phillip

QUESTION: WAR TRIVIA: What city does Steve “Manballs” Masters call in from?

HIS ANSWER: Chicago — The correct answer is San Francisco


About war1057

Woody and Rizzuto: Insensitivity Training For A Politically Correct World. Class is in session Mon-Fri 6am-10am (central). Stream live:
This entry was posted in Comedy, Epic, Funny, Radio. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s