FRIDAY SHOW BLOG (11/11/11)

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Today’s Anthem: DEMI LOVATO


HAPPY VETERANS DAY!  A BIG THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO SERVES SO WE CAN ACT LIKE A-HOLES ON THE RADIO!  CHECK OUT THIS PICTURE….THE THIRD DUDE FROM THE LEFT IS MY FUTURE FATHER IN LAW!  -PATRICO

WHERE CAN YOU FIND THE SHOW THIS WEEK?

NEAT!

  • Eating junk food before heading to bed can cause nightmares!  NEAT!
  • Home Remedies…..some work….others do not:
    • Chicken Soup for a cold….WORKS!
    • A Cucumber Compress to relieve headaches….WORKS!
    • Green Tea for bad breath….WORKS!
    • Hemorrhoid Cream for Puffy Eyes….Works….but…eventually makes things worse!
    • Sucking Venom From A Snake Bite….DOES NOT WORK…Infection here we come!
    • Peeing on a Jellyfish sting…FALSE..it actually could make it worse.

  • A rugby player has decided to tell everyone what happened after he suffered from a stroke….he now…is gay.  He claims after the stroke he fell in love with a a male actor and even quit his job as a banker and now is a hairdresser and lives with his 19 year old twink boyfriend.  WHAT?!
  • Another poor excuse…a mayor in New Mexico says that the $1 million dollar contract he signed to approve parking garages is null and void.  Why?  He was piss hammered drunk.  Regardless…we believe that if you sign a contract…a contract is just that…a contract.
  • The people at CareerBuilder.com did a survey and found the 1/3 of employers call in sick more often over the winter than any other time of year.  Check out some of these excuses:
    • 12 year old daughter stole his car
    • Bats had gotten into someones hair
    • Refrigerator fell on him
    • A dump truck accidentally dumped flour into her convertible
    • Deer bit him during hunting season
    • Employee at too much at a party
    • Employee got a cold from a puppy
    • Employee hurt his back chasing a beaver
    • Employee got his toe caught in a vent cover
    • An employee got a headache after going to too many garage sales
    • Employees brother got kidnap by drug cartel
    • Employee accidentally drank anti-freeze
    • A bucket holding water from a leak in the ceiling crashed and fell onto her. 

  • Last night the Blues fell to the Toronto Maple Leafs 3-2 at the Scott Trade. Their next game is on Saturday against the Tampa Bay Lightning.  Puck drops at 7PM. 
  • We’ll chat with Ravey and discuss NFL Week 10 more with the Beat A Woman Segment, but first last nights Thursday Night Game.  The Raiders beat the Chargers last night 24-17.  Carson Palmer threw for almost 299 yards and two touchdowns.  The Chargers tried to make a late comeback but, again, Golden Boy Phillip Rivers failed them and he was picked off in the end zone. 
  • Some NBA news…Players are considering a new offer from the NBA and the commissioner said he is done with talks and wants to start the 72 game season.  He said if the players don’t take this deal – the next one  will be on that they won’t like very much.  Players will meet today to see if they agree on the current deal.
  • And finally – not good news for Cards fans.  Reports are coming out that over the weekend Albert Pujols will be taking his talents to South Beach…at least for a meeting with the Marlins.  Numerous folks are saying that with new manager Ozzie Guillien and a payroll that could afford him – Marlins could make a huge push for Albert.  

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  • On Tuesday night, 21-year-old Erica Wilson of Rogersville, Tennessee and 32-year-old Jesse Brooks were arguing about their relationship status. Jesse had touched Erica suggestively and told her that he “wanted her.”  She told him that she “wanted a relationship and didn’t want to be a BOOTY CALL.” Ready for the TWIST?  Erica and Jesse are . . . wait for it . . . FIRST COUSINS.  Well done, Tennessee. Anyway, the fight over whether these two FIRST COUSINS would have relations during a booty call or relations as a couple got ugly. Jesse allegedly pushed over Erica . . . she grabbed a pair of scissors and STABBED HIM in the face, neck, arms, and back. When the cops came to break things up, both of them smelled of alcohol . . . and they admitted they’d been drinking “significant amounts” of Everclear GRAIN ALCOHOL.  Again, well done, Tennessee.

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  • Billy Crystal is now the official host of the Oscars this year after Eddie Murphy backed out.  Billy will host for the 9th time.  A Facebook campaign actually was made to get the Muppets to host the award show…but…that obviously went unnoticed. 
  • Brad Pitt actually made sense when talking about the Occupy situation.  He says that people are feeling screwed by the system but people really need to have answers and not just protest for no reason. 
  • Apparently Howard Stern is in talks to replace Piers Morgan on America’s Got Talent.  That would be FRIGGIN AMAZING! Howard wants $15 million dollars a year and would need the show to move to New York….

CRAPPY BIRTHDAYS:
Leo DiCapria is 37
Whoopi is 56
Jimmy Kimmel is 44
Sammy Sosa is 43
Calista Flockhart is 47
Gerard Butler is 42
Demi Moore is 49
Al Michaels is 67
Anne Hathaway is 29
Ryan Gosling is 31
Chris Noth is 57
Neil Young is 66
Tonya Harding is 41
Megan Mullally is 53
Wallace Shawn is 68
Rona Artest is 32

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  • Olivia Saint – 32 – Todays bday bitch has spread her legs wider than a 7-10 split in 299 fine films including:
    • The Anal Destruction of Livia Saint
    • Shave Me Down Vol 3
    • Fire In The Hole
    • The Art of Double Penetration
    • Rear Factor
    • Toss My Salad Vol 6
    • Caution Your Azz is In Danger
    • Bingo Bango Bunghole Vol 3

BEAT A WOMAN – NFL WEEK 10
RAVEY (8-1) VS. SEAN MOUNIHAN

St. Louis at Cleveland ((RAVEY PICKS STL// SEAN PICKS CLE))
Pittsburgh at Cinci ((BOTH PICK PITT))
Buffalo at Dallas ((RAVEY PICKS DAL // SEAN PICKS BUF))
Houston at Tampa ((BOTH PICK HOU))
Jacksonville at Indy ((RAVEY PICK JAX // SEAN PICKS INDY))

SUNDAY NIGHT GAME:

N.E at NY Jets ((BOTH PICK N.E.))    ((SEAN TOTAL POINTS: 42                 RAVEY TOTAL POINTS: 44))

MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL:

Minnesota at Green Bay ((BOTH PICK G.B.))

LOCK OF THE WEEK:

SEAN: Baltimore over Seattle ((BOTH PICK BAL))
RAVEY: Philly over Arizona ((BOTH PICK PHIL))

OTHER GAMES:

NY Giants at S.F ((Both Pick S.F))
Detroit at Chicago ((Both Pick CHI))
New Orleans at Atlanta ((Both Pick ATL))
Tennessee at Carolina ((Both Pick CAR))
Washington at Miami ((Both Pick MIA))
Denver at K.C. ((Both pick K.C.))


SOME QUICK THINGS ABOUT OCCUPY STL

  • A 53 year old protester at occupy New Orleans was found dead in his tent on Tuesday.  Apparently he had been dead for two days.
  • In San Diego – protesters vandalized two carts, one a coffee cart and another hot dog cart.  What happened?  For a month they were hooking up these people with free coffee and hot dogs and then decided they had to start charging.  They were spray painted and then covered in urine and blood.  Idiots!
  • You have to check out the audio during the 8AM podcast – a news report on someone pooping and peeing on a bank.  It’s awesome!
FAIL STORIES:
  • In Florida – a dude and his wife set up a threesome.  Downside – the wife and other broad didn’t let him participate. He flips.  He grabs a big screen TV and starts swinging it like a bat and then threw it at his wife.  Then punched the other girl in the face.  Shocking – they were all drunk.  FAIL!
  • A 31 year old dude from Arizona was trying to bail his buddy out of jail.  So how did he plan on getting the money?  Robbing some people…at the same apartment complex the buddy stole from.  FAIL!  What an idiot!  Both idiots are in jail. BAIL MONEY FAIL!
  • A guy tried to rob a hotel at gun point last Wednesday…one problem…it was hosting a Martial Arts tournament.  A couple of the martial arts folks managed to take care of this guy till the cops showed up.  FAIL!

  • A team of researches went to go and video tape items getting crushed by deep sea pressure….first thing crushed?  The underwater camera.  FAIL!
  • An aquarium in California picked up a great white shark off the coast to nurse it back to health and learn about it.  The shark appeared fine…and the electronic device attached to the shark monitored its movements…but then…suddenly…it died.  No word on how it died.  FAIL!
  • A 37 year old dude from Belleville had problem with his starter so he went under the ride to check it out..but forgot to put it in park and it rolled on top of him and killed him. FAIL!
  • A cleaning woman accidentally ruined a million dollar sculpture.  The $1.1 million piece was called When It Starts Dripping From The Ceiling….It had a bunch of slats and a stain on the floor and thought the ceiling was leaking on the ground…but it was art.  So the woman scrubbed it clean.  FAIL!
  • A dude in Croatia was at home and experimenting in a sex game.  He shoved a LIVE 4 1/2 anti aircraft shell up his b-hole.  And bad news…it got stuck.  Doctors had to delicately remove the shell from his fart box before anything could go wrong.  FAIL!

About war1057

Woody and Rizzuto: Insensitivity Training For A Politically Correct World. Class is in session Mon-Fri 6am-10am (central). Stream live: http://1057thepoint.com
This entry was posted in Comedy, Epic, Funny, Radio. Bookmark the permalink.

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