TUESDAY SHOW BLOG (11/22/2011)

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Today’s Anthem: KAT DELUNA!

CHECK OUT THE PATRICO REMIX OF THE NATIONAL ANTHEM….SERIOUSLY…THIS IS MEGA COOL.  THANKS TO ADAM FROM THE BAY FOR CREATING THIS!

MAYOR FRED AND THE CRAIGSLIST FREAK OF THE YEAR SEMIS #3!

1. Dookie Howser (Rizzuto & Woody endorse)

2.  Justin Kidding

3.  Spiderman (Mayor Fred & Patrico endorse)

4. Romeo

5. Blue Man Group (Masters Endorses)

DOUCHEBAG #1

There was a Congressional SUPER COMMITTEE that got together and failed to find $1 worth of savings…Seriously…a SUPER committee that FAILS to find anything TO CUT FROM GOVERNMENT SPENDING FOR SAVING?  SUPER FAIL?! YES…YES INDEED.

CHECK OUT THIS DOUCHER #2….

Can you tell what this is?  Give it a second…

Yup – it’s a Buzz Lightyear action figure….hilarious!

We asked a couple things:

  1. Are the wings open in this x-ray?
  2. Was he trying to get to infinity or beyond?
  3. Did they send up the barrel of monkeys up there to retrieve him?
  4. They actually have a book of things shoved up the bum? Check HERE.

DOUCHER #3 – 911 CAN’T USE MY PHONE!

WHO IS THE BIGGEST DOUCHER OF THE DAY? THE SUPERFAIL SUPER COMMITTEE!

  • CREEPER NEWS: An 80 year old dude was having problems with his computer – when the shop hooked it up and started it – it started printing out everything that was in the print que – and it started printing out CHILD PORN!  Idiots!  Another kiddie porn doucher – some dude posted on Facebook his plans for a bomb attack….and they tracked him down to his house…found his computer…and then had child porn on his computer.  What an idiot!
  • CREEPER NEWS: In Oregon – cops got a 911 call after a dude was found joeing by the road.  Cops called the K9 unit – and found the mystery Joer…he was up in a tree naked wearing only in his tennis shoes.  He was busted – and taken to jail!
  • CREEPER NEWS: A 75 year old dude was a math teacher in Chicago.  Dude was also an ordained minister.  A student said it looked like this dude was Joeing behind a podium and he was confronted.  He admitted to it…and he was fired and arrested.  He also wrote a note that admitted to fantasizing about female students and diddled himself.  IDIOT!
  • PARENT OF THE YEAR NOMINEE: Marco Santos – his 2 year old walked in and said he needed a diaper change…so when the diaper fell apart..the dad grabbed a hot frying pan and burnt him in the penis, scrotum, and thighs.  The dad then tried to treat him with toothpaste – and waited three days to take him to the ER.  ARE YOU SERIOUS?! What a douche!
  • Holiday shopping season is upon us…here is a list from a group from teachers that want to know your a horrible parent if you buy:
    • Monster High Dolls from Matel (Skinny dolls)
    • Disney Fairies Tinkerbell Soundbook (Gender Issues)
    • I Am T Pain Microphone (You can meet predators online and it haults creativity)
  • There are also some people pissed off about the You & Me Dolls because they claim one of them says a swear word.  It sounds like it’s saying “Hey Crazy Bitch!.”  But apparently it’s just baby talk.

  • Last night the Patriots crushed the Chiefs 34-3 in Monday Night Football.  Tom Brady threw for 234 yards and 2 touchdowns.  Chiefs starter Tyler Palko…failed in his debut throwing for 236 but with 3 interceptions and no TDs.
  • The Blues are in action tonight against the Kings at the Scott Trade.  It’s an early start – puck drops at 6:30PM. T.J Oshie could return to the ice tonight…. And speaking of returns in hockey…Sidney Crosby played in his first game since last January because of a concussion and needless to say – he was right back on top.  He scored twice and had two assists in Pittsburgh’s win against the Islanders 5-0.
  • And finally – Detriot Tiger pitcher and AL Cy Young Winner Justin Verlander now can add the title of MVP on his rap sheet as well.  He is the first  starting pitcher to win the MVP in 25 years and beat out Boston’s Jacoby Ellsbury and Blue Jays outfielder Jose Bautista.
  • Mizzou competes in the finals of the CBE classic tonight after beating the bejesus out of Notre Dame last night.  Final was 87-58.  The 21st ranked tigers will play Cal tonight on ESPN2

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  • On Cracked.com – they put some celeb conspiracy theories that actually make sense. 
    • Kurt Cobain killed himself because he played the guitar left handed.
    • Michael Jackson’s voice never changed because he was chemically castrated.
    • Thomas Jefferson had a form of Autism.
    • Elvis died from constipation
    • Hitler had a fascination with human caca.
  • The Van Halen guys are getting together and putting out their first new album with David Lee Roth since 1984.
  • Wesley Snipes is in jail for tax fraud…and NOW…he’s also being sued by American Express.  Apparently he owes them a ton of money…and it’s funny because Willie Mays Hayes said in the Major League AMEX commercial, “Don’t Steal Home Without It!”
  • Wanna take out the boat that Natalie Woods died on?  You can contact the guy HERE if you want to rent out this boat!

CRAPPY BIRTHDAYS:
–SCARLETT JOHANSSON – 27 
–Mark Ruffalo – 44
–MARIEL HEMINGWAY – 50
–JAMIE LEE CURTIS – 53

–Steven Van Zandt – 61
–BILLIE JEAN KING! – 68

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  • Victoria Paris – 51 – today’s bday girl has does more gobbling than a Thanksgiving Turkey in 193 fine films including:
    • The Breast Things In Life Are Free
    • Who Reamed Rosey Rabbit
    • Beaver Juice
    • Snatched To The Future
    • Miracle of 69th Street
    • Ready, Willing, and Anal

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  • A 19-year-old West Lafayette man faces two felony charges after he allegedly beat his girlfriend senseless using a Shake Weight dumbbell. Police say that on Nov. 9, Jonathan T. Noe violated a previously established protective order and attacked his former girlfriend after returning to her apartment following a party. Authorities discovered the victim with her eyes swollen shut, at least four teeth knocked inward, and her mouth too swollen to speak. Police later found Noe sitting intoxicated on the couch at his apartment. Police charged Noe with felony counts of battery by means of a deadly weapon and strangulation. He also received a misdemeanor invasion of privacy charge.

THAT SUCKS STORIES:

  • A man in Belleville was killed last week when he was sucked into a wood chipper.  The 54 year old guy was working with a crew in front of a house when his clothes got caught on a limb as he was feeding it in.  THAT SUCKS!
  • A 64 year old man was walking down the street in Pennsylvania when someone threw a pumpkin from a moving car….he got a concussion…cops are looking into it! SUCKS!
  • A 79 year old from Miami was admitted to the hospital after saying he had stomach pains and shortness of breath.  he was prescribed Pepcid…a nurse grabbed a DIFFERENT DRUG and put a muscle relaxant – that is used to put people to death – and the dude died.  She did three things wrong…and the dude mega died.  SUCKS!
  • A woman in Australia was walking her dogs and a giant kangaroo jumped in front of her…One of the dogs chased it – and the woman tried to save the dog and the kangaroo beat the CRAP OUT OF HER…docs say its a miracle she survived.
  • A man in Virginia was waiting for his wife to drop off a DVD at Redbox….when she heard a pop…she ran back to the car and he accidentally shot himself when he was unbuckling his seatbelt.  He bled out and died!
  • A dude hit a deer when riding his motorcycle when on the highway in Texas….he was on the ground hurt and bleeding and someone pulled over to help…but they didn’t help…they grabbed the motorcycle and put it in their truck and drove off.  Cops found them and arrested them…the dude is in the hospital.
  • Two runners collapsed and died while running the Philly marathon…SUCKS!
  • A man in England was diagnosed with an aggressive form of stomach cancer.  Determined to live – the poor dude pushed through MANY rounds of chemo…he had surgery that removed 80% of his stomach.  Then he got worse news: HE NEVER HAD STOMACH CANCER AT ALL…IT WAS A MISTAKE! Because of all the chemo and surgery..he can never eat sitting down again!  SUCKS!

GOTT GAME WITH STEVE MANBALLS MASTERS!

CHECK THE 8AM PODCAST FOR GOTGAME WITH MASTERS. Check out his website by clicking HERE.

Also – want to buy or sell used games?

Visit GLYDE.COM.

ALSO BROUGHT TO YOU LOCALLY BY CPR (CELL PHONE REPAIR)…IF YOU NEED YOUR PHONE OR VIDEO GAME SYSTEM FIXED …THIS IS THE PLACE TO GO!  LOCATIONS AT MID RIVERS & OFF OLIVE.  CLICK HERE FOR THE LINK!

  • Check out this douche….he broke up with his girlfriend…and then sold her engagement ring to buy…THIS

About war1057

Woody and Rizzuto: Insensitivity Training For A Politically Correct World. Class is in session Mon-Fri 6am-10am (central). Stream live: http://1057thepoint.com
This entry was posted in Comedy, Epic, Funny, Radio. Bookmark the permalink.

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