TUESDAY SHOW BLOG (11/29/2011)

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Today’s Anthem: Lauren Alaina

WERE BACK!  FULL SHOW IS BACK AND READY TO ROCK!  WOODY AND RIZZ ARE BACK IN TODAY AND READY TO TALK ABOUT THE MOTHER EFFIN TURKEY HOLIDAY.  WOODY HAD A DEEP FRIED TURKEY, RIZZ HAD ONE TURKEY SOAKING IN WHITE WINE AND ONE TURKEY WRAPPED IN BACON….PATRICO…JUST ATE TURKEY. On a side note – the average American weighs 20 pounds more than people did in 1990.

WE ASKED OUR LISTENERS…WHAT DO YOU LIKE BETTER..

GREEN BEAN CASSEROLE OR SWEET POTATOES? WINNER: GREEN BEAN CASSEROLE (69%)

APPLE PIE OR PUMPKIN PIE? WINNER: PUMPKIN PIE (56%)

MAYOR FRED AND THE CRAIGSLIST FREAK OF THE YEAR SEMIS #5!

1. Genital Hospital (Mayor Fred Endorses)

2.  Papa John

3.  The Balls Player

4. Lady CaCa (Rizz & Patrico Endorse)

5. Count Ragula (Woody Endorses)

[audio http://media.1057thepoint.com/Podcasts/1526/FREAKOFTHEYEAR-SEMI_FINAL5.mp3]

  • Police in Virginia arrested a 40 year old for filming his 57 year old MOTHER IN LAW while she was in the bathroom!  We think it may be on Thanksgiving – but the wife found videos of a woman undressed (which turned out to be her mother) on his cell phone!  He could get up to a year in the slammer.  Oofah!  CREEPER!
  • A 27 year old dude in Utah was arrested on Saturday after her allegedly looked at child porn on his laptop during a flight.  He was sitting in first class when a fellow passenger saw it – cops waited for the dude and arrested him when the plane landed.
  • Last week in Ohio a 44 year old man who was high on bath salts broke into a house and wanted to put up the families Christmas decorations.  An 11 year old boy was home and found him.  He ran to find his mom and she called the cops.  Apparently when the 11 year old found him that high guy said, “I’m sorry – I didn’t mean to scare you. I’ll get my things and go.”
  • On Saturday – cops in Maryland arrested 52 year old Kevin Walsh for kicking a cop dog and fighting with cops.  It should be noted…that Kevin was dressed as Frosty The Snowman.  He was arrested and charged with assault and disorderly conduct.
  • Black Friday and Cyber Monday were the most successful days EVER!  It was the most successful retail day in the entire country…EVER! Check out some more on 2011 Black Friday/Cyber Monday by clicking HERE.
  • A Salvation Army bell ringer was robbed of his kettle at knife point!  Robbers are still on the loose – but that’s ridiculous.  How weak do you have to be to steal the Salvation Army Kettle?!  Now some ringers are actually allowed to take Credit Card donations. Would we make a credit donation?!  HELLS NO!

  • The Blues beat the Blue Jackets over the weekend 2-1 and under new coach Ken Hitchcock the team is 7-1-2. The team will play the Capitals in Washington tonight at 6PM.
  • The New Orleans Saints dominated the New York Giants in Monday Night Football last night, beating them 49-24 in New Orleans. Saints quarterback Drew Brees was 24 of 38 for 363 yards and four touchdowns and ran for another TD, while the Giants went into halftime down 21-3. New York quarterback Eli Manning went 33 of 47 for 406 yards and two touchdowns in the loss.
  • After the Tampa Bay Buccs lost to the Tennessee Titans on Sunday, a local Fox affiliate in Tampa aired a locker room interview with Bucs offensive tackle Donald Penn. And they didn’t realize that in the background . . . you could see one of his teammates UNDRESSING.  And there was a full shot of his JUNK.  In related “Shouldn’t Have Been Aired On TV Moment.” At the end of the Broncos-Chargers game on Sunday, the game was tied at 13 with less than two minutes left in regulation, and the announcers were talking about how it could come down to a field goal.  So they cut to a shot of kicker Nick Novak on the sideline . . . just as he began ….TO PEE IN A CUP. You couldn’t see anything because Novak had his back to the camera, but it was pretty obvious.  He was down on one knee, and a trainer was holding up a towel to block the view. You can see the video HERE.
  • If you haven’t heard – the NBA season is back…Neat.  That’s pretty much all you need to know..it’s coming back on Christmas.  But – while we’re chatting basketball…a middle school principal in Kentucky is thinking about canceling the entire rest of the basketball season for a group of kids.  Why?  Kimper Elementary lost to Pikeville Elementary over the weekend….and it was ugly.  Final score?  100-2.  To make things worse – if the season does continue…the two teams meet again in the middle of December.

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  • Is Miley Cyrus a pothead?! She joked after getting a Bob Marley cake and said it was fitting that a “stoner get a Bob Marley cake.”  She said something along the lines of “you know you smoke way to effing much weed when you get a Marley cake..”  Blah,blah,blah…who cares.  She smokes pot…neato.  Apparently her nickname is Bob Miley as a joke.  Ok.  Fantastic.
  • Christian Bale is DONE playing Batman.  He says that the third will be his last.  The latest movie comes out July 2012.
  • Lawrence Taylor is being sued by the underage hooker he banged back in May of 2010.  Gloria Allred is the lawyer…and is suing LT for sex trafficking.  Seriously – this Allred broad is back?! Come on! LT was found not guilty of banging the underage hooker but took a minor deal and got 6 months probation.

CRAPPY BIRTHDAYS:
–Game – 32
–Anna Faris – 35
–Brian Baumgartner – 39
–Gena Lee Nolin – 40

–Jonathan Knight – 43
–Ellen Cleghorne – 46
–Don Cheadle – 47
–ANDREW MCCARTHY! – 49
–Tom Sizemore – 50
–Howie Mandel – 56
–Joel Coen – 57

–Garry Shandling – 62
–Jerry “The King” Lawler – 62

–CHUCK MANGIONE! – 71
–VIN SCULLY – 84

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  • Renae Cruz – 24 – today’s birthday hooker has handled more hogs than a pig farmer in 171 fine films including:
    • Brunettes The Darkside
    • Long Dong Black Kong
    • Destination Tonsils
    • Anal Chaos
    • 100% Grade A Meat
    • Face Invaders Vol 3
    • Don’t Waste It, Taste It! Vol 2

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  • Emanuel Cordell Kennedy, a 37-year-old Union City man was jailed Tuesday after he allegedly assaulted his mother with a ham. According to Union City Police, Kennedy’s 55-year-old mother, Brenda King, went to the police station to report that her son had thrown a ham at her during an argument inside her residence. She was reportedly struck in the back with the object as she walked down a hall. Kennedy claims that he did not mean to hit King with the meaty missile.  He stated that he did not know she was walking down the hall at that particular time. Kennedy still lives at home with his mother. Kennedy was booked into jail and charged with domestic assault. He is currently being held without bond.
THAT SUCKS!……WHAT MAKES US THE MOST AND LEAST HAPPY?
  • Thing that makes us the happiest as people?  Having sex, exercising, going to a concert, singing or performing, and going to the library.
  • Thing that makes us the most sad? Being sick in bed, waiting in a line, take care of an old person, commuting, and studying.
    • Overall the happiest moment of the year was 1:50 PM on Christmas Day. The saddest moment? January 31st at 8:00PM…Shockingly…that’s on a Tuesday this year!
THAT SUCKS STORIES!
  • A woman in Florida worked at Target overnight during the big Black Friday sale.  She was so tired on her way home that she crashed her car into a canal at 7:00AM.  She called the cops at 7:39 and she managed to barely get out alive..it took 3 cops to fish her out of the water!
  • A man in Saudi Arabia was beheaded publicly for a being a sorcerer.  Seriously…beheading because of sorcery…that sucks!
  • A family in Cali was saved after their dog – a pitbull named Diamond – started barking and woke everyone up when a fire started in the apartment.  The dog even found the families daughters under the bed hiding as they hid from flames.  When the fire department got to them – the girls were safe but Diamond had burns on 30% of her body.  Here is where it sucks…they can’t find a new place because landlords HATE pitbulls. THAT SUCKS!
  • A 66 year old woman in South Carolina was working in her garden when out of nowhere – two dogs attacked her.  The dogs belonged to a neighbor but the dogs attacked him too.  The woman was attacked so bad she died and the neighbor was hurt so bad he’s been in the hospital for two weeks!  SUCKS!
  • The man at a restaurant went to fire a waiter at a restaurant in Syracuse.  The dude shows up – manager fires him – and the server threw his jacket at him.  As they left – the fired dude grabbed the fire alarm that set off the system and chemicals sprayed all over the food…it was almost $1,000 of damages to the food.  SUCKS!
  • Last week in Arizona a 27 year old dude was taken to the hospital after he accidentally show himself in the pecker outside a grocery store.  He was putting the gun in his waistband and the bullet went through his dong and his legs.  SUCKS!
  • A dude in Australia dropped 462 cases of wine.  Problem was – each of the bottles inside of the cases was about $200 in price!  Overall about $1 million dollars of wine was lost.  SUCKS!
  • A homeless dude broke into someones apartment in Arkansas and the owner came in and found him sitting on the toilet.  He jumped up – pants around his ankles – and ran out the door.  On his way out, he tripped, fell down a flight of stairs, and DIED! A neighbor said he had invited the homeless guy back to his house but the drunk got confused and ended up in the wrong apartment! SUCKS!
  • A 69 year old guy from Tampa was riding his Harley…having a great day….and BAM…he made turn and smashed into a cow and was thrown from his motorcycle…and…since he DID NOT have a helmet on…he died instantly!  THAT SUCKS!
BLACK FRIDAY FOOLISHNESS:
  • At 10PM on Thanksgiving in California – a woman pepper sprayed other shopped at WalMart just to clear a path to get to Xboxes.  20 people – including kids – were injured. 
  • People in Walmart also rioted over a $2 Waffle Maker.  Check out THIS video:
  • At another Walmart – a man was arrested after he took his grandsons game he was going to buy and shoved it in his waistband and cops TOOK HIM DOWN AND BROKE HIS FACE!  Check out more of this story HERE. 
  • A guy at a Target was shopping on Friday morning and he collapses after having a heart attack…and shoppers just continued to shop and stepped over him to get their Black Friday deals.  Finally – a few nurses stopped and the man died later in the night.
  • Numerous reports across the country of this….A mob of people broke into a closed store and began looting the store and the giant mob appeared to be shopping like nothing was wrong.  Seriously?  Come on! People are retarded on Black Friday! 

About war1057

Woody and Rizzuto: Insensitivity Training For A Politically Correct World. Class is in session Mon-Fri 6am-10am (central). Stream live: http://1057thepoint.com
This entry was posted in Comedy, Epic, Funny, Radio. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to TUESDAY SHOW BLOG (11/29/2011)

  1. Kurtis Bromeier says:

    Were is the soccer video I heard you guys talking about? The guy sliding face first! WTF!

  2. RaiderRon says:

    I got 13 out of 16 games right. I took down the 9-2 Ravey for a 2nd straight week. I said my RAIDERS would beat the Bears!

    And I get…… NOTHING??

    No props?? Come on, Guys!

    SUCK IT!

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