NINJA STICKER C/O WOODY AND RIZZUTO
401 S. 18th St
St. Louis, MO 63103
Today’s Anthem: Bay Anthem Chick
DRIVE BY WHORING 104 FOR MEGAN!
1. Count Ragula (Woody Endorses)
2. Lady CaCa (Rizz & Patrico Endorse)
3. Genital Hospital (Mayor Fred Endorses)
- A tattoo artist named Ryan Fitzgerald was hit with a $100,000 fine because he was supposed to tattoo a scene from Narnia on her back…but instead he tattooed a steaming pile of caca on her back with flies buzzing around it. She was going to charge him with assault and so on…but….the whole thing is a hoax and no such civil complaint has ever been filed.
- In Wisconsin – an 18 year old dude broke up with his 15 year old girlfriend when he found out she cheated on him. And he just couldn’t let it go….he said he was going to beat up the new boyfriend and bring his samurai sword. And he did. This dude showed up to the girls house and went upstairs and found the new boyfriend sleeping in her bed….he wacked the dude with the sword numerous times and THEN took him to the hospital. And then the guy cried and begged for him not to call the cops. Needless to say he was arrested on aggravated battery, second degree reckless endangerment and armed burglary…he could get 41 years in prison for this!
- ST LOUIS HAS MADE ANOTHER TOP 10 LIST! Men’s Health magazine says that St. Louis is the 6th saddest city! It looked at suicide, unemployment, surveys on depression, and levels of antidepressant usage. #1 was St. Petersburg. The happiest city? Honolulu.
- A couple that lost custody of their 3 kids with Nazi inspired names….now are being told that they cannot take home their newborn daughter. The Campbells who named their kids Adolf Hitler, Jocelyn Arian Nation Campbell, and some other Nazi politician.
- A couple of dudes told a bunch of elderly people that Federal regulations have changed toilet paper…and that they had to buy this special TP (that was regular TP) that wouldn’t clog their septic system. And they actually bought it. Well – they have now been arrested.
- The Blues continue their tear as they beat the Capitals last night 2-1 in Washington giving the team it’s 4th straight win. The team looks to make it 5 in a row when the head to Colorado to play the Avalanche on Friday.
- Another MLB team has found its next manager…yesterday the Boston Red Sox hired Bobby Valentine to take over for Terry Francona. Valentine will leave his ESPN position and coach again…he has had some success in the past as a manager. Back in 2000, he lead the Mets to the World Series…Boston is expected to hold some sort of press conference today.
- Right after we talked about Ndamukong Suh possibly getting a 2 game suspension for his arm stomp on Thursday – it was announced that he DID get that suspension…and now…he is appealing it. Kind of ridiculous because if you’ve seen it…he stomps the crap out of this guy…but he’s going to formally appeal it today – and if the suspension does go on – he won’t get paid for those two games…so he’s losing out on $164,000 dollars.
- And finally – this type of stuff cracks me up…the Cubs are no showing interest in free agent Albert Pujols and have begun talks with his agent. Immediately – people are starting the “Pujols is now a Cub” talk…but all that’s going down is that the two are talking. Apparently a lot will be discussed and we could see SOME sort of movement during the Winter Meetings which start up next week.
- Mark Thomas Wach, of Palm City, shot at his lawn mower while drunk, fought his adult son and even pulled a shotgun on the adult son, according to a Martin County Sheriff’s office arrest affidavit. The 43-year-old man was tased three times before being taken into custody by deputies. But Wach was puzzled about his arrest: He reportedly told deputies that he shoots in the yard all the time and that fighting is what redneck people do, records state. Rednecks also have a tendency to get arrested, Bubba
- Dr. Conrad Murray got the max sentence for killing Michael Jackson and will have 4 years in prison. He got heckled during his press conference too which is hilarious. They also want Dr. Conrad Murray to pay $100 MILLION DOLLARS. Will he serve 4 years in jail?! Of course not…he will probably get around 2 years for KILLING MICHAEL JACKSON. Ridiculous. That’s retarded.
- Justin Beiber is being asked to take another DNA test in front of her people so they can make sure everything is on the up and up. Stupid.
- Patrice O’Neal died yesterday morning at the age of 41. He had a stroke back in October and suffered from diabetes. His last gig was the Charlie Sheen roast back in September.
- CHECK OUT THIS NEW TLC SHOW CALLED VIRGIN DIARIES….IT’S HELLA CREEPY:
- A website called TopBuds FM did a survey to find the bands you REALLY can’t stand. Here are the top 10 in order from #1 – #10:
- Justin Beiber
- Lady Gaga
- Katy Perry
- Lil Wayne
- Britney Spears
–CLAY AIKEN! – 33
–Kaley Cuoco – 26
–Elisha Cuthbert – 29
–Clemence Poesy – 29
–Mindy McCready – 36
–Amy Ryan – 42
–Ben Stiller – 46
–Bo Jackson – 49
–Billy Idol – 56
–Mandy Patinkin – 59
–Ridley Scott – 74
–Dick Clark – 82
–ROBERT GUILLAUME! – 84
- Shannon Kelly – 31 – this ginger headed slut has had more than her share of shillelagh in 99 fine films including:
- Elegant and Nasty
- Oh No There Is A Negro In My Mom
- MILF Does A Boner Good
- Big Boob Dirty Thirty and Squirting
- Dirty Rotten Mother Effers
- Anal Solo Masturbation
iPOD CHALLENGE: THE THONG SONG BY SISQO
WHOSE IPOD?! PATRICO’S!
BITCH BE TRIPPIN:
- A Pakistani woman stabbed her husband to death and she says she had a good reason. Her husband apparently told her he intended to have a sexual relation with their daughter. And she killed him. And then she planned on disposing of him by COOKING HIM. Neighbors caught a whiff of the smell and called the cops! BBT!
- In Connecticut a 55 year old gal name Ruth was at a craft fair shopping for Xmas ornaments. As she was looking someone accused her of stealing. She picked up an ornament after they argued and stabbed him. She was arrested and charged with SEVERAL felonies. BBT
- When the Smurfs movie was released a woman in San Fran agreed to take her 4 year old to go see it. She smuggled in a bottle of vodka and downed half of it in the movie. She then got behind the wheel and sideswiped two cars and cops pulled her over. She couldnt even remember her own name and blew a .35…FOUR TIMES THE LEGAL LIMIT. BBT.
- Last week a 59 year old Florida woman went to her neighbors house and asked him and asked him for 2 bucks. When he said NO…she then asked him for 5 bucks. He’s again…said no. That’s when the woman stabbed him with a steak knife in the back. The guy collapsed and the woman left him there to die. Someone found the man and called the paramedics and he’ll be alright. BBT!
- A 39 year old dude from Louisville is in big trouble after she knocked out a couple of her daughter’s teeth during an argument over food stamps. Cops haven’t given many details about the actual argument…but what we do know is the mom got pissed when her daughter opened her bedroom door. At that point sh
- A 73 year old British grandmother says that for the past four months there’s been a ghost in her home that gropes her at night. She told reporters, “It feels like an octopus. I was lying in bed when I felt this creepy pair of hands. I kicked frantically and it went away. Next time it came I hurled the duvet on to the floor.” A newspaper in her hometown has offered to pay for ghost-hunters to help rid her home of ghosts. BBT!
- A woman just outside of S.F was arrested after she poured a pot of boiling water on her sleeping ex-husband, burning more that 60 percent of his body and then clubbing him with a baseball bat. Prosecutors say she was pissed because she thought he was cheating on her…they’re divorced…but for some reason still living together. She COULD face life in prison….BBT!
EMAILS FROM THE PEOPLE:
CHECK OUT THIS EMAIL WE GOT FROM NINJA BRIAN. WE READ IT…AND THEN ASKED….ARE WE DICKS FOR THINKING THIS GUY IS PATHETIC?!