NINJA STICKER C/O WOODY AND RIZZUTO
401 S. 18th St
St. Louis, MO 63103
Today’s Anthem: The Jimi Hendrix
VOTE FOR JILLY’S CUPCAKES AT WWW.STLMAG.COM
CHRISTMAS RE-CAP GIFT IDEAS FOR DUDES
1. Budweiser DraftMark – http://www.draftmark.com
2. Mouth Parties
3. 314-GOLF PASS
4. Lowes or Home Depot Gift Cards
5. Oil/Auto Parts Store Card
6. Weaponry of any kind (Guns, Knives, Nun Chucks)
7. Membership to a gun range (Top Gun Shooting Range)
8. Listener Gwen: “Anything Laser: Laser scope, laser level, laser pointer, laser tag”
9. Listener Colleen: “Grilling utensils: super affordable”
10. Membership for Car Wash
A Florida man and his friend said their truck ran out of gas, and they wanted to go to see a woman who lived across a lake, they said they stole a Johnboat to get there. It quickly became a story of stripping, taunting and Tasing.
Deputies ordered the suspected thieves back to the shore. That’s when they said Darrel Horne stripped off his clothes, jumped in the lake naked and started swimming away — all while cursing out deputies. They caught him on the other side of the lake, naked with scratches from the woods.
- The feds have ordered a dude in San Francisco to cease and desist his sperm donations. He posts ads on Craigslist and informally donates his seed. He’s already fathered 14 kids and there are 4 more on the way. The FDA describes the service as a business. The man disagrees saying “I thought it would be a neat way to service the community.” The feds say it’s not cool because he’s not following the requirements for getting tested for STDs. He could get up to a year in prison and $100,000 fine if he doesn’t knock it ff.
- A mom in England found a letter to Santa in her 13-year old daughter’s backpack. The little girl asks for a Blackberry, cash , Converse sneakers, sunglasses and designer clothing. Then she says Santa will be killed if he fails to deliver at least two of the items on her list. She signs her letter “Remember… two of these or you die.”
- Must have toy of this Christmas season???? Nothing has exceeded sales to make it the number one wanted toy but here’s what’s hot: Leap Frog. Check out this weird toy Netflix website: http://www.toyguru.com
- A cable repair dude in New Jersey showed for a call at a house, went downstairs to check the situation and found a sleeping 500-pound black bear. He said the only reason he found it was because he heard a growl behind him. The bear escaped from the house but authorities were able to find it and tranquilize it. The owner of the house said he has no idea how the bear got into his basement or how long it had been there, since he hadn’t been down there in a while.
- Shawn – Generator Tech – found dead ferrets and feces in a basement
- Andy – Carpet cleaner – the basement was a litter box
- Eric – Plumber – owner used toilet until plumber came. Water was shut off.
- Matt – Cable installer – person had full fledged weed operation in basement.
NEAT – Mall Santas
- Mall Santas cough into their sleeve 12 times a day
- Listen to 30,000 kids a year
- Good Santa suit can cost around $1500
- 1/3 of Santas say they’ve been peed/pooped on
- 90% of Santas have a college degree
- Tenured Santas can bring in $10K over the 2 months of work
MATH of Santa
- There are just over 526 million Christian kids under the age of 14
- Santa needs to deliver presents to 22 million kids per hour, every hour which is doable due to the different time zones.
- That’s 365,000 kids per minute or 6,100 per second.
- He doesn’t have to worry about some of the countries those.
- Associated Press announced their entertainer of the year – Lady Gaga. Steve Jobs was number 2.
- Andy Dick is currently living in a shed outside of his girlfriend’s house. “I live in the back in the shed, I’m kinda in the dog house and I put myself there.” He is a mess.
- Ashton Kutcher is bringing back Punk’d to MTV. He will be producing. They haven’t said who will be hosting.
- Amber Portwood from Teen Mom was locked up yesterday. She missed her probation hearing police found pills in her purse when they searched her.
- Chaz Bono is now single. They called off their engagement.
- NBC – SNL presents: A Very Gilly Christmas
- Bravo – Kathy Griffin: A Tired Hooker
- G4 – Bomb Patrol: Afghanistan
- We talked about the Moonshiners show on Discovery. Check out Popcorn from the show below:
Chris Robinson (Black Crowes) is 45
Jonah Hill is 28
Peter Criss (drummer from KISS) is 66
LISA LENNOX – 42 – Today’s birthday whore has been spanked more than a New Years Baby in 126 fine films including:
– Anal Chiropractor
– Humpkin Pie
– Tails from the Crack
– For Your Mouth Only
– Backdoor Diaries
– Poop Dreams
– Booty Ho Volume 4
– Screw My Wife Please: She Wants Me to Watch
GOT GAME WITH STEVE MANBALLS MASTERS
Spike Video Game Awards this past Saturday
GAME OF THE YEAR: “The Elder Scrolls V: Skryrim”
CHARACTER OF THE YEAR: Joker in “Batman: Arkham City”
BEST XBOX 360 GAME: “Batman: Arkham City”
BEST PS3 GAME: “Uncharted 3: Drake’s Deception”
BEST WII GAME: “The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword”
BEST HANDHELD/MOBILE GAME: “Super Mario 3D Land”
BEST PC GAME: “Portal 2” (also won best multiplayer, best DLC, and both of the vocal performance awards.
BEST SHOOTER GAME: “Modern Warfare 3
MOST ANTICIPATED GAME OF NEXT YEAR: “Mass Effect 3”