On today’s CRAP ON CELEBS we chat about what an actress did to get Tyler Perry’s attention and we chat about why GOTYE is pissed at Glee. Plus, your Crappy Bdays and your world FAMOUS Porno BDAY!


A 23-year-old African-American actress named RACQUEL BAILEY spent all her money on a billboard asking TYLER PERRY to hire her. The billboard cost Bailey $1,500 . . . which she calls her “last money for the year.”   It stands about two miles away from Perry’s studios in Atlanta. She says, quote, “I hoped he would see it while he was driving to work, or on his way home from work, or that someone would see it . . . All I want is a chance.  I’m just waiting for that call.” No word yet from Tyler Perry. For this chick to go to all this trouble . . . and to fork over all the money she had . . . she MUST be good, right?  Well . . . Racquel put her web address on the billboard . . . and there’s a video on the site with some examples of her acting work.  I’m no talent scout, but I guess I would say she’s not the best actress I’ve ever seen.  Especially on the Shakespeare stuff at the beginning.

Glee” recently did a version of “Somebody I Used to Know” by GOTYE.  It was performed by DARREN CRISS (Blaine) and guest star MATT BOMER. Well, Gotye has heard it . . . and he HATED it. He says, quote, “They did such a faithful arrangement of the instrumentals but the vocals were that pop ‘Glee’ style . . . ultra-dry, sounded pretty tuned and the rock has no real sense . . . like it’s playing to you from a cardboard box.” And in another interview, he said the cover, quote, “made it sound dinky and wrong.”



Beatboxing pioneer/rapper-warbler Biz Markie appeared on an episode of Bio.’s Celebrity House Hunting last night. Desiring to move from his suburban place to Washington, D.C., Biz emphasized that his main objective was to create a “museum” for all of his stuff. There’s so much of it. Audio tapes and VHS tapes and sneakers and records and, most surprisingly, Barbies. Biz calls himself an “avid” collector of the dolls with no trace of irony or shame. 2012 is an exciting time for masculinity. CHECK OUT THE VIDEO HERE!

Cops in Florida were close to making a drug bust on Rick Ross’ yacht … if not for a quick-thinking cohort who ditched the evidence at the last minute … this according to law enforcement.  A rep for the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission (yes, they can arrest you) says officers flagged down Rick’s boat on Thursday after noticing the odor of weed.  Cops boarded the water vessel and conducted a search … but found nothing.  Now get this … cops say one of Rick’s homies ADMITTED to smoking weed onboard the ship … but claimed he threw the dope overboard when he noticed the officers.   The plan WORKED — a rep for the FWCC says because the officers didn’t find any marijuana on board, no arrests were made … and no further investigation will be conducted. The lesson — see a cop, ditch your weed in the ocean.

SOUNDGARDEN’S first song in 16 years “Live to Rise” was written for “The Avengers” . . . and singer CHRIS CORNELL said they did that because it was a partnership they could believe in. He tells the “L.A. Times”, quote, “The record business is completely different . . . there needs to be some tie-in [today].  Without one, it’s great that you made a record and recorded a song, but no one’s going to hear it . . . have a nice day.  The problem, really, isn’t so much as finding a tie-in, but finding one you can get behind, where you can feel 100% comfortable . . . “It takes some getting used to . . . like you go out on and tour and they try to put a banner from a cellphone company somewhere near your stage. “So this was the best possible result of having a partnership.  This is a movie that’s part of a series that we all like, and part of a history of Marvel that we all like.” In other words, Chris believes you have to “sell out” these days, but you can be careful about HOW you sell out. Chris adds that illegal downloading has cut a lot of extravagant spending out of the music industry.  He says, quote, “People have had to figure out how to go back into their garages and make a record without having to spend a half of a million dollars.

–George Lopez – 51
–John Cena – 35 (WWE rassler)
–Kal Penn – 35 (Kumar in the “Harold and Kumar” movies)
–Jaime King – 33 (“Pearl Harbor”, “Bulletproof Monk” and “White Chicks”. See her . . . NAKED . . . as Goldie/Wendy in “Sin City”)
–Michael Moore – 58 (Professional propaganda creator)
–Joyce DeWitt – 63 (Janet on “Three’s Company”)
–Dev Patel – 22 (The kid from “Slumdog Millionaire”.)
–Valerie Bertinelli – 52
–Taio Cruz – 32
–Shirley Temple – 84


Monica Sweetheart – 31- Today’s birthday girl has sucked harder than a Monday morning……in 395 fine films including:
“Gentlemen Prefer Anal”
“Nasty Nymphos Volume 30”
“Destination Dirtpipe”
“Fire in the Hole Volume 2”
“Throat Sluts Volume 1”
“Buttman’s Anal Show Volume 2”
“Finger Licking Good Volume 2”
“Down The Hatch Volume 7”
“Rectal Rooter Volume 2”
“Bombones banados de leche Volume 2”

About war1057

Woody and Rizzuto: Insensitivity Training For A Politically Correct World. Class is in session Mon-Fri 6am-10am (central). Stream live:
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