In today’s CRAP ON CELEBS we chat about Obama on Fallon and Tim Tebow’s virginity has a bounty on it! Rosie O’Donnell and Lindsay Lohan are fighting…and who the hell cares? And we have your Crappy Birthdays, and today’s WORLD FAMOUS PORNO BDAY
PRESIDENT OBAMA was on “Late Night with Jimmy Fallon” last night. His appearance was taped earlier in the day at the University of North Carolina. The best part was when he participated in Fallon’s “Slow-Jam the News” segment. Obama talked about the importance of keeping student loan interest rates low, while THE ROOTS played a sexy blues jam. Roots singer BLACK THOUGHT called Obama, quote, “the POTUS with the most-est.”
AshleyMadison.com is offering a $1 million bounty on TIM TEBOW’S CHERRY. That’s the website where people go when they want to CHEAT. That’s right ladies . . . If you’re the first woman to show Tebow the pleasures of the flesh, and you can prove it, it’s worth a cool million. And now that he’s a Jet, it might be a lot more likely to happen. The site says, quote, “I guarantee that no man of Tebow’s stature could survive a season in New York without succumbing to the temptations of the city.” They’re so confident Tebow won’t last long with his innocence intact that the offer runs out at the end of his first season in New York. For those of you who somehow haven’t heard this yet, Tebow is a devout Christian who says he’s saving himself for marriage.
ROSIE O’DONNELL tried to be nice, but nobody was interested. So it looks like the gloves are back off. Yesterday on the “Today” show, Rosie went off on LINDSAY LOHAN . . . and it appears that IT’S ON between these two ladies. During a panel discussion with Matt Lauer, Star Jones and Donny Deutsch, the subject of Lindsay’s new Elizabeth Taylor movie came up. Rosie didn’t start off mean . . . just honest. She said, quote, “I feel very sorry for her. I think she needs a lot of help. She needs time away.” When Lauer asked if it was a good idea to cast Lindsay, Rosie said, quote, “No! Because she’s had a lot of trouble doing every single movie, including ‘SNL’. She was out and not at rehearsal. I think she’s not in a place to work.” Donny Deutsch then referred to Lindsay as, quote, “our generation’s Elizabeth Taylor” . . . and for some reason, that set Rosie off. She said, quote, “You’re out of your mind. You’re a crackhead! Get out of here! The last thing she did good she was 16.” She added, quote, “I don’t think she’s right for the role and I don’t think she’s capable at this point of doing what’s needed . . . I think the interest level in her has waned significantly.” Lindsay’s camp isn’t taking this lying down. Her publicist says, quote, “I think Rosie should focus on her own career and stop worrying about everyone else’s. “It’s hard to take these comments seriously considering they are coming from someone who just had her own talk show cancelled, but I guess she has to find a way to stay in the news, even if it is at the expense of someone else.”
Octomom NADYA SULEMAN was investigated yesterday for CHILD NEGLECT . . . after her hairdresser called the cops to report horrible living conditions. Police and the local Department of Family and Children’s Services showed up at Nadya’s house last night. They stayed for about 90 minutes and decided the kids didn’t have to be removed. But Children’s Services will be following up on the matter. Here’s some of what the hairdresser said she saw at Nadya’s house . . . The plumbing is all messed up, and there’s only one working toilet . . . for Nadya and her 14 kids. And some of the kids were seen relieving themselves in portable training toilets in their bedrooms and in the backyard. The kids appeared to be un-bathed and malnourished . . . and the house itself was filthy. The hairdresser also saw Nadya lock kids in a bedroom when she needed them out of her hair to get things done. CHECK OUT A VIDEO OF THE FOLKS SHOWING UP TO OCTOMOM’S HOUSE!
CHECK OUT THESE PICTURES!
In “Borat”, SACHA BARON COHEN made Kazakhstan look like a Third World hellhole where rape and incest are the norm, everyone lives in poverty, and anti-Semitism is the national pastime.So what did that do to the nation’s tourism industry? It INCREASED IT TEN FOLD. Foreign minister Yerzhan Kazykhanov says, quote, “After this film the number of visas issued to Kazakhstan grew by ten times. This is a big victory for us and I thank Borat for attracting tourists to Kazakhstan.”
Check out the new trailer for the G.I Joe movie! BADASS!
DUDE…Russel Brand…if you are going to testify at a parliamentary hearing on the U.K.’s drug policy yesterday. Maybe you should wear some SLEEVES!
WHO FRIGGIN CARES: Gladys Knight was the latest eliminated from Dancing With The Stars…….ummmm……OK! Who friggin cares?!
–Joe Buck – 43
–Al Pacino – 72
–Renée Zellweger – 43
–Jason Lee – 42 (“My Name is Earl” and almost every Kevin Smith movie)
–Talia Shire – 66 (Adrian in the “Rocky” movies and Connie Corleone in the “Godfather” movies)
–Hank Azaria – 48 (The voice of Chief Wiggum, Moe, Apu and COMIC BOOK GUY on “The Simpsons”)
–Len Goodman – 68 (“Dancing with the Stars” judge)
Tara Monroe – 37 – Today’s birthday girl has handled more wiener than a Busch Stadium hot dog vendor……in 52 fine films including:
“Boob-o-rama Volume 3”
“Beaver And Buttcheeks”
“Intercourse With The Vampire”
“Gangbang Girl Volume 12”
“Breastman Back In Breastland”
“Spanking Volume 11”
“Eight Ain’t Enough”