Today’s CRAP ON CELEBS has us talking MJ and PEPSI, a bunch of movie trailers to check out and of course the biggest movie EVER comes out today, the Avengers hit theaters at midnight…..of course…your CRAPPY BDAY and PORNO BDAY!

MICHAEL JACKSON’S estate has reached a deal with Pepsi that allows Michael’s image to be used in a new global marketing plan. The specifics will vary from country-to-country, but basically it includes:  Special edition cans with Michael’s image, TV ads, and remixed versions of Michael’s songs, which will be available as digital downloads. The problem is . . . Pepsi may have been indirectly responsible for Michael’s death. In 1984, Michael’s hair caught fire while he was taping a Pepsi commercial.  It was pretty serious, his scalp was burned . . . and some people say that injury triggered years of prescription drug abuse that ultimately killed him. You can see video of Michael’s Pepsi accident on today’s show blog. Meanwhile, the estate hasn’t commented on that . . . they just released a statement saying, quote, “We’re here to market the re-release of the ‘Bad’ album and Pepsi is the most effective place to do it.”

Some new trailers for you to check out…….for example the new one for “The Expendables 2” hit the web yesterday . . . and this movie looks AWESOME. From what we can tell, it’s a delightfully cheesy, old-school action flick like the first one, only WAY more over-the-top. And it includes one of the coolest one-liners in action movie history.  JASON STATHAM, in a church and dressed like a monk, actually says, quote, “I now pronounce you MAN AND KNIFE,” before JACKING a guy (first of all, Jacking a guy). You can see the trailer on BELOW. While you’re there… can see the trailer for “The Amazing Spider-Man” which ALSO hit the web yesterday.  This is NOT a continuation of the TOBEY MAGUIRE movies . . . it’s a reboot starring ANDREW GARFIELD in the title role. And it looks like they mess around with the origin story a little. The movie comes out July 3rd.  And finally….”Entertainment Weekly” has the trailer for Syfy’s next fun, campy movie, “Jersey Shore Shark Attack” . . . and it’s quite epic. Obviously, it’s a play on “Jersey Shore” . . . but here, the “GTL”-life is interrupted by angry, rampaging sharks that are ON THE ATTACK.  The movie premieres June 9th. The cast includes: VINNY GUADAGNINO, from the REAL “Jersey Shore”. PAUL SORVINO . . . Who played Paul Cicero in “Goodfellas”, TONY SIRICO . . . who played Paulie Walnuts on “The Sopranos” . . . and was a REAL-LIFE MOBSTER in the ’60s and ’70s. JACK SCALIA . . . who had roles on “Dallas” and “Remington Steele”, WILLIAM ATHERTON . . . who played EPA agent Walter Peck in “Ghostbusters”, and the reporter in “Die Hard” and “Die Hard 2″…..and former ‘N SYNC star JOEY FATONE . . . who’s playing HIMSELF! See the trailer on today’s show blog.



Two Hulk movies, two “Iron Man” movies, “Thor”, “Captain America”, and a bunch of Samuel L. Jackson cameos have all been leading up to this . . . a team of superheroes coming together to defend Earth from an invading alien army. Robert Downey Jr., Chris Evans, and Chris Hemsworth are back in their roles as Iron Man, Captain America, and Thor.  But this is Mark Ruffalo’s first time as the Hulk’s alter ego, Dr. Bruce Banner. Eric Bana played him in 2003 for the first film.  Ed Norton did it five years later for “The Incredible Hulk”.  The Hulk himself is computer-generated. Jackson is back as Nick Fury, the eyepatch-wearing leader of an organization called SHIELD.  He puts the team together . . . along with Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow, and Jeremy Renner as Hawkeye. Thor’s adopted brother Loki is the bad guy.  And he’s recruited an army from another world to help him take over our planet. Here are five reasons why “The Avengers” may be the best Marvel movie yet . . . according to the website 1.)  It’s funnier than all the others. 2.)  The final action sequence is better than all the others combined. 3.)  It builds off the character development of the others and expands on it. 4.)  Side characters each get their moments and help flesh out the movie. 5.)  It raises the stakes without overdoing it.

HBO: The season finale of “24/7: Mayweather/Cotto”
ABC: “20/20” Extreme parenting is discussed with parents who are committed to fostering their children’s visions in such extreme sports as monster truck driving, bull riding, motocross racing and mixed martial arts. AND…a couple raising their children in a nudist colony.
CBS: UNDERCOVER BOSS comes to St. Louis! – Fastsigns International CEO Catherine Monson.

HBO: “The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame: 2012 Induction Ceremony” This year’s inductees include the Beastie Boys, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Guns N’ Roses, Laura Nyro, Donovan, and Freddie King.
NBC: “Saturday Night Live” Eli Manning guest hosts and Rihanna is the musical guest.

COMEDY CENTRAL: ZACH GALIFIANAKIS’ “Between Two Ferns” special.  Check out preview clips of his interviews with JON STEWART and RICHARD BRANSON HERE.
CBS: The season finale of THE AMAZING RACE
ABC: The 2nd to last episode of DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES


–Willie Mays – 81  (San Francisco Giants Hall of Famer)
–George Clooney – 51
–Brian Williams – 53  (“NBC Nightly News”)
–Kurt Loder – 67  (MTV News)
–Erin Andrews – 34  (ESPN reporter who was secretly videotaped in a hotel room curling her hair and doing squats NAKED)
–Will Arnett – 42  (He’s on that show “Up All Night”…and he was/will be once again on “Arrested Development” when it comes back)
–Lance Bass – 33  (*NSYNC)
–Gabourey Sidibe – 29  (Fat black chick in “Precious:  Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire”.  But, really, you can just call her Gabby, and you can just call the movie “Precious”)
–Adele – 24  (Fat white chick who sings songs about her feelings)
–Richard Jenkins – 65 (The Dad in Step Brothers and he was also Nathaniel Fisher, the dead father on “Six Feet Under”)
–Mike Dirnt – 40  (Green Day bassist. His birth name was Michael Pritchard . . . he used to play air bass in school and make it the sound “dirnt, dirnt, dirnt” as he fake-plucked . . . so that became his nickname.)
–Chris Brown – 23  (Singer who biggest hits were on Rihanna’s face)
–Tina Yothers – 39  (“Family Ties”)
–Randy Travis – 53  (Country singer)
–Tom Bergeron – 57  (The host of “Dancing with the Stars”, “America’s Funniest Home Videos” and back in the day “Hollywood Squares”.)
–Brooke Hogan – 24  (Hulk Hogan’s daughter)
–Henry Cavill – 29  (Your new Superman)
–Chris Paul – 27  (Los Angeles Clippers)
–Martin Brodeur – 40  (Future Hall of Fame goalie)
–Bob Seger – 67
–Clark Duke – 27  (The kid from “Hot Tub Time Machine”.)


Mason Storm – 38 – Today’s birthday girl has seen more semen than graduation day at the Naval Academy……in 121 fine films including:
“Big Wet Asses Volume 2”
“Asses of Face Destruction Volume 1”
“Buttman’s Tales From the Crack”
“Booty Duty Volume 11”
“Deep Throat This Volume 18”
“Oral Consumption Volume 6”
“Glazing The Baby Dolls”
“Marked For Anal Volume 2”

About war1057

Woody and Rizzuto: Insensitivity Training For A Politically Correct World. Class is in session Mon-Fri 6am-10am (central). Stream live:
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