In Today’s CRAP ON CELEBS we chat about a Teen Mom pissed about her topless shots making it to the web.  Also, Fox complete rips off the Voice…and your Crappy BDAYS and your WORLD FAMOUS PORNO BDAY!


TOM GABEL . . . the lead singer for the punk band AGAINST ME! . . . is going to become a woman.  He’s going to take hormones and undergo electrolysis . . . but he hasn’t made his mind up yet on gender reassignment surgery. His new name will be LAURA JANE GRACE. But even though he feels he’s a woman, he’s NOT attracted to men.  He plans to stay with his wife, with whom he has a 2-year-old daughter. Tom . . . or should I say Laura . . . is 31 years old.

Remember those post-boob job nude photos of former “Teen Mom” JENELLE EVANS?  Well, her ex-boyfriend took them and sold them without her permission . . . and she’s not happy about it. Jenelle says she was too loopy to realize that her slacker ex-boyfriend, Kiefer even took the nude photos of her. She says (quote) “I’m very depressed but I’ll eventually get over it. I just wish I knew who to trust these days,” she added. “He was the only one that had them and now they are online. I also have texts of him admitting it.” It’s just more drama from Janelle, who hinted that she’d like to hold Kiefer accountable—if only, he didn’t have some dirt on her! (quote) “I didn’t give him any permission and yes I know I have a good case but he has more blackmail on me so I cant.”

Fox got themselves some single “celebrities” to participate in their upcoming dating show, “The Choice”. We heard about this last week.  It’s a total rip-off of “The Voice” . . . with the spinning chairs and everything. On each episode, four celebrities will choose a non-famous bachelor or bachelorette to go on a date with.  Initially, the stars will have their backs turned to the contestants, so they won’t be able to judge based on appearance. But Fox has already said all the contestants will be, quote, “physically attractive” . . . so it’s not like there’s going to be a SUSAN BOYLE or anything. The participating celebrities are: Joe Jonas of the Jonas Brothers, Dean Cain, who played Superman on “Lois & Clark”, Fashion model Tyson Beckford, Season Five “American Idol” winner Taylor Hicks, “Jersey Shore” stars Pauly D and Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino, Rob Kardashian, Rapper Romeo, Chef Rocco DiSpirito, friend of the show……Loveline co-host Mike Catherwood, a.k.a. Psycho Mike, Former NFL star Warren Sapp, and current NFL players Ndamukong Suh of the Detroit Lions and Rob Gronkowski of the New England Patriots, Former “Saturday Night Live” star Finesse Mitchell, and more! There will be one episode featuring FEMALE stars.  They will be: Carmen Electra, “Playboy” model Hope Dworaczyk, who was on “Celebrity Apprentice”, Former Miss USA Rima Fakih, Australian actress Sophie Monk, who was in “Date Movie” and “Click”. “The Choice” premieres on June 7th.  CAT DEELEY is the host.By the way, Fox is now ADMITTING the obvious:  That ‘The Choice” was initially a spoof of “The Voice”. Fox suit Mike Darnell says, quote, “What started out as a goof ended up being a ridiculously good format. The show is more about the CHOICES than the actual DATES . . . but nonetheless it’ll be interesting to see what happens there. Darnell says, quote, “The [female contestants] took it ridiculously seriously . . . like they were getting married.  A couple of the setups really had chemistry.”

In case you missed it, this week’s episode of “Mad Men” featured the BEATLES song “Tomorrow Never Knows”.  And it cost AMC $250,000 to use it….which is insane, considering the fact that it’s not even a POPULAR Beatles song. It’s pretty crazy for a TV show to spend that kind of money, but a website called put together a montage of MOVIES that have used Beatles songs. It’s still not that common because the royalties are so expensive, but the montage includes: “Happiness Is a Warm Gun” in Michael Moore’s “Bowling for Columbine”, “Twist and Shout” in the parade scene of “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off”, “The Fool on the Hill” in “Dinner for Schmucks”, and about a dozen more. You can see the video of the montage HERE!

The Beastie Boys were served with a copyright-infringement lawsuit last Thursday…one day before the death of founding member Adam “MCA” Yauch from cancer on Friday. According to Spin, a record label called Tuf America filed the suit over four tracks from the Beasties’ first two albums, 1986’s Licensed To Ill and 1989’s Paul’s Boutique. The suit alleges that — “Hold It Now, Hit It,” “The New Style,” “Car Thief” and “Shadrach” — made unauthorized use of samples from two Trouble Funk songs. 1982’s “Drop The Bomb” was allegedly used on the first three tracks, while “Say What” was used on “Shadrach.” It’s not clear why it took the label more than 20 years to make the allegations and take legal action.


WILL SMITH isn’t just a supporter of PRESIDENT OBAMA . . . he’s willing to put his money where his mouth is.  Or where Obama’s mouth is. See, Will is perfectly happy to pay the higher taxes rich folks like him might be responsible for if Obama is re-elected. He says, quote, “I’m very supportive of that idea.  America has been fantastic to me.  I have no problem paying whatever I need to pay to keep my country growing.” Meanwhile, we all know how TED NUGENT feels about the prospect of PRESIDENT OBAMA being re-elected.  But we’ve found someone just as insane and irrational on the other side. Yesterday, CHER Tweeted, quote, “If [MITT ROMNEY] gets elected I don’t know if I can breathe the same air as him and his right wing racist homophobic women-hating tea bagger masters.” When someone suggested that was a little over the top, she replied, quote, “Too harsh?  That me holding BACK!  They care nothing about the poor, the old, the sick, the hungry children and people striving for a better life!” Cher later deleted those Tweets . . . but she’s still fighting with her Twitter followers.  You can check out the chaos on her twitter account:


When a movie makes $207 million in a single weekend, guess what happens?  That’s right . . . “The Avengers 2” is already in development.  The Disney theme parks will also be getting “Avengers” attractions soon. There’s no word when it’ll happen, but it’s at least a few years off.  “Thor 2” and “Iron Man 3” are already scheduled for 2013 . . . with a second “Captain America” movie following in 2014.


“Where the Wild Things Are” author MAURICE SENDAK died yesterday, after suffering a stroke on Friday.  He was 83 years old. “Wild Things” is one of the biggest children’s books of all time.  It’s about a boy named Max who travels to a land of monsters . . . and becomes the wildest thing of them all. The book was published in 1963 . . . and was adapted into a live-action movie by Spike Jonze in 2009.



–Billy Joel – 63
–Audrina Patridge – 27  (Slut from “The Hills” who likes to pose naked . . . she now has her own show on VH1 called “Audrina”.)
–Dave Gahan – 50  (Lead singer for Depeche Mode…who has cheated death FOUR times in four different ways:  Survived a heart attack in 1993, slashing his wrists in 1995, overdosing on a speedball in 1996 and a malignant bladder tumor in 2009.)
–John Corbett – 51  (“Sex and the City” . . . Chris, the disc jockey, on “Northern Exposure” . . . and the non-Greek groom in “My Big Fat Greek Wedding”)
–Rosario Dawson – 33
–Candice Bergen – 66
–Chris Diamantopoulos – 37  (Moe in the “Three Stooges” movie)
–Andrew W.K. – 33  (Picture Kid Rock somehow finding a way to make himself look even dirtier.)
–Former Attorney General John Ashcroft – 70
— Certifiably insane Wu-Tang Clansman Ghostface Killah – 42  (He once had a giant, solid gold eagle made into a “wrist ornament.”)
–Calvin Murphy – 64  (NBA Hall of Famer who we normally wouldn’t care about . . . except that we’re pretty sure he holds the incredibly competitive title of Athlete With Most Illegitimate Kids!  He has FOURTEEN children with NINE different women.)]



CBS: SURVIVOR and the season finale of CSI




Lisa Ann – 40 – Today’s birthday girl has in 226 fine films including:
“Mother Suckers Volume 1”
“Anal Cavity Search”
“Lesbian Hospital Volume 2”
“Waterworld 4: History of the Enema”
“Mommy Blows Best”
“Massive Facials Volume 2”
“I’m Craving Black Penis”
“Shorty iz F’n Yo Mama Volume 4”

About war1057

Woody and Rizzuto: Insensitivity Training For A Politically Correct World. Class is in session Mon-Fri 6am-10am (central). Stream live:
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