Sometimes we actually can’t believe our tax dollars fund some of the DUMBEST things.  Seriously – a govt. funded STUDY on STUDIES?!  Yup, true life.  These are actual things that your tax dollars are funding.  MONEY WELL SPENT?!


This is the kind of government insanity and wastefulness that makes you want to slam your head into a wall. Back in 2010, the Pentagon felt it was overrun with studies.  So to find out if they were running too many studies . . . yep, they commissioned a study on whether they were running too many studies. It gets worse.  Now it’s two years later and the Government Accountability Office wanted to review that study on studies.  But they felt it needed a deeper investigation. So THEY ran a study on the study to see if we run too many studies.  Which REALLY should’ve answered their question. Their conclusion was that the Pentagon’s study on studies was incomplete and poorly executed . . . it only reviewed nine studies, lost the findings on six of those, and didn’t actually figure out the costs behind the studies. The GAO didn’t release how much money has been blown on studies or studies on studies . . . but, like everything with the government, you can assume it’s nauseatingly high.  Ladies and gentlemen, your tax dollars at work.

Share your deepest secrets with her, and she will no doubt promise never to tell. But beware of putting your trust in a woman – for the likelihood is she will have broken your confidence barely half an hour later, a study has shown. Researchers discovered that 85 per cent of females relish hearing juicy titbits of gossip but many are unable to keep it under wraps for long. Researchers found that women are overcome by the desire to gossip and can typically wait  no longer than 32 minutes before spilling the beans. Depending on who the gossip is about, their husband, mother or best friend are most likely to be the initial recipients of the information.  The study of 3,000 women by facial skincare brand Simple found one in ten admits being unable to keep a secret – no matter how  personal or confidential the news is. And  85 per cent said they relish hearing gossip  from others. But many women are putting themselves at risk of betrayed confidences, the survey revealed, with nearly half saying they often felt the need to offload their secrets to someone.

It’s always good to see science being used for something practical.  Any scientist can try to cure diseases, right?  But only these guys used their knowledge to solve a REAL problem:  Carrying a coffee mug without spilling. Two mechanical engineers at the University of California, Santa Barbara ran a series of lab experiments to figure out how to walk with a coffee mug without spilling a drop.  And these are their three conclusions:

#1.)  Start your walk slowly.  You don’t want to accelerate too fast . . . that gets the liquid moving too much.

#2.)  Leave a gap between the top of the coffee and the top of the mug.  They say it should be at least one-eighth of the mug’s diameter.  Since you’re NOT going to bother to calculate that, just leave about half an inch of space.

#3.)  Look at the mug while you walk.  That keeps your body focused and is the biggest key to preventing a spill.

A nonprofit called In Defense of Animals just put out this list of experiments the government funded last year.  They do it to expose the spending on animal testing.  And, yes, testing on animals can be bad. Although a few of these experiments sound AWESOME.  We’re gonna focus on those.  Here are some of the things the government paid to test in 2011 . . .

Hunger Versus Sex.  Scientists got a grant to put hamsters on a diet and see how hungry they’d have to be before they chose food over sex.  The answer was, with about 75% less food, they started focusing on eating over humping.

Lemon Causes Arousal?  Researchers in Wisconsin got a grant for a test where they pumped in a lemon scent while male monkeys HAD SEX.  Then they pumped lemon scent when the monkeys weren’t having sex.  They got erections.

Cocaine Makes Jazz Better.  Scientists found that rats preferred silence to music.  But when they gave them COCAINE, the rats really, really liked MILES DAVIS.  This, by the way, is the kind of research that makes America great.

Men with erectile dysfunction can have, quote, “male vacuum erection systems” prescribed to them to treat their sexual issues.  And they’re covered by Medicare, which is funded by our taxes. According to a new study, the American taxpayers are spending more on penis pumps than we ever even dreamed of.  In the past decade, it’s estimated that Medicare has been billed $240 MILLION for penis pumps. That’s a quarter of a BILLION DOLLARS. Believe it or not, penis pumps are one of the many erectile dysfunction treatments that are deemed MEDICALLY NECESSARY, along with Viagra, injections, and implantable devices. In other words . . . penis pumps are going to keep on being prescribed.  At least until some politician grabs it as their hot button issue, and gets the public riled up enough to end it.

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