In today’s CRAP ON CELEBS we chat about a Modern Family star going under the knife…and Fox has made it OFFICIAL with Britney Spears.  Plus, we have today’s CRAP ON CELEBS and today’s WORLD FAMOUS PORNO BIRTHDAY!

SARAH HYLAND . . . who plays Haley Dunphy on “Modern Family” . . . has been battling kidney disease most of her life.  And on April 13th, she had a KIDNEY TRANSPLANT.  The donor was her father. In an interview with “Seventeen” magazine, Sarah says, quote, “You know that family is always going to be there for you no matter what.  My dad gave me a freakin’ kidney! “But it’s also the families that you create outside of your family.  And you really find out what kind of people you’re friends with.” She adds, quote, “I have a second chance at life, not a lot of people get that.” One person who’s really been there for Sarah is her boyfriend. Sarah says, quote, “He helps me with my medication and takes me to doctor appointments and all the stuff that I need to do to take care of myself. Any other 21-year-old guy would not be there, I guarantee it.” By the way…..Sarah is also 21.

This week, all the major networks are unveiling their schedules for next season . . . and yesterday, it’s was Fox’s turn. The biggest news is that BRITNEY SPEARS and DEMI LOVATO are replacing PAULA ABDUL and NICOLE SCHERZINGER as judges on “X Factor”.  There’s been a TON of speculation about this, but now it’s FINALLY official. As far as which shows are coming and going……let’s start with the one’s who are GOING: “Alcatraz”, “Breaking In”, “The Finder”, “I Hate My Teenage Daughter”, “Terra Nova” and “House”, which is airing its SERIES FINALE next week. They also announced five new shows for next season, three comedies, two dramas and three new reality shows listed:  “The Choice”, “Hotel Hell” and “Take Me Out”.  But those will premiere this summer, and aren’t technically part of Fox’s schedule for NEXT season, which begins this fall. If you CLICK HERE YOU CAN GET more info, including video previews, pictures and full synopses. One final note from the FOX announcements: “Glee” is moving from Tuesdays to Thursdays . . . and SARAH JESSICA PARKER and KATE HUDSON will both guest star on multiple episodes next season.

KRISTEN STEWART says her life has been easy so far.  Too easy.  In fact, she would appreciate it if someone would SCREW HER OVER, just to make it interesting. In the new issue of “Elle” magazine, she says, quote, “Maybe because my life is so perfect, You can learn so much from bad things. I feel boring.  Why is everything so easy for me? I can’t wait for something crazy to happen to me.  Just life.  I want someone to [eff] me over!” Probably not the wisest thing to say . . . especially for someone so young.  Don’t worry, plenty of things can still happen to make your life “interesting”.  People you love can get cancer or AIDS and die unexpectedly . . . you could get caught in a terrorist attack . . .OR….something REALLY exciting like your shifty accountant could mess up your finances without you knowing it and leave you completely broke and on the hook for millions in back taxes! Be careful what you wish for. Life doesn’t tend to stay uninteresting for too long.

“WEIRD AL” YANKOVIC invited fans to call him at an AIRPORT PAYPHONE yesterday.  He Tweeted, quote, “Got some time to kill at JFK Airport.  If you want to chat, for the next 30 minutes I’ll be at this pay phone: (718) 374-8448.” And people DID.  One fan Tweeted, quote, “Just talked to one of my heroes.  Thanks, Al!”  Another said, quote, “Weird Al…We are the two Argentinean girls that spoke to you!!!  We’re vomiting rainbows!”

Hopefully this is the beginning of the end……..the season finale of “Survivor” only drew 10.2 million viewers, which made it the lowest-rated “Survivor” finale ever.  The reunion show had 8.1 million viewers, and that was also an all-time low.

CBS: The season finales of NCIS and NCIS LOS ANGELES
NBC: The season finale of FASHION STAR and the auditions continue on AMERICA’S GOT TALENT
FOX: A double episode of GLEE

–Emmitt Smith – 43  (Retired Dallas Cowboys legend, “Dancing with the Stars” winner AND Just For Men pitchman)
–Jamie-Lynn Sigler – 31  (Meadow Soprano on “The Sopranos”)
–Dan Patrick – 56
–Ray “Murder” Lewis – 37  (Baltimore Ravens star linebacker (slash) Super Bowl MVP (slash) former murder suspect)
–Chazz Palminteri – 60
–George Brett – 59  (Remember back when people thought using too much pine tar was the best way to cheat your way to hitting home runs?)
–Ryan Leaf – 36  (Legendary NFL bust…Since his NFL career ended, he’s been arrested numerous times on drug charges.  He’s already been popped TWICE this year for breaking into people’s homes to steal their prescription drugs)

Brooke Waters – 40 – Today’s birthday girl has gotten nastier than a Pointfest porta-potty…..in 168 fine films including:
“If You Can’t Lick ’em… Join ’em”
“The Best Of Spanking Volume 4”
“Lesbian Bitches Volume 2”
“Diary of a Pervert”
“Shaved Volume 9”
“Anal Witness Volume 2: No Prisoners”
“Sex Lives Of Clowns”
“Vagina Beach”
“Chamber Of Punishment”
“What’s The Lesbian Doing In My Pirate Movie?”

About war1057

Woody and Rizzuto: Insensitivity Training For A Politically Correct World. Class is in session Mon-Fri 6am-10am (central). Stream live: http://1057thepoint.com
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