In today’s CRAP ON CELEBS we chat about an American Idol judge leaving the show next year, plus we have some news on some upcoming/canceled CBS shows.  Plus, of course, your CRAPPY BIRTHDAYS and your PORNO BIRTHDAY!


E! Online is reporting that JENNIFER LOPEZ will NOT return next season to “American Idol”. Why? She’s too busy . . . and the next round of “Idol” auditions will begin while she’s on tour overseas.  Plus she wants to free up time to be with her kids. Meanwhile, “Idol” producer Nigel Lythgoe had this to say yesterday . . . quote, “We want her back.  I want her back . . . [but] It’s a business.  She has to weigh everything.  I know she’s gotten lots of offers to do movies and other things.” And if you’re wondering why everybody wants a piece of J-Lo?  Just check out her bikini pics in the new issue of “Vogue”.  She’ll be 43 in July.  How is it even possible that she still looks like this? CHECK THEM OUT HERE AND YOU ARE WELCOME!

Meanwhile, JENNIFER LOPEZ tops this year’s Forbes Celebrity 100 List.  That’s the magazine’s annual list of the top stars, based on their income, visibility, social media presence and other factors. J-Lo earned $52 million over the past year, which is nowhere near Oprah (who came in 2nd place and raked in $165 MILLION!)…but J-Lo is all over the place . . . especially thanks to “American Idol”. JUSTIN BIEBER finished third….the rest of the top 10:
#4)   Rihanna
#5.)  Lady Gaga
#6.)  Britney Spears
#7.)  Kim Kardashian
#8.)  Katy Perry
#9.)  Tom Cruise
#10.)  Steven Spielberg

ASHTON KUTCHER made the list for the FIRST time this year.  He’s 51st.  And MELISSA MCCARTHY (the fat chick from Mike and Molly….she was also in Bridesmaids) made her debut at #99. TIGER WOODS is the highest-ranking athlete on the list, at #12 . . . and RUSH LIMBAUGH is the top political figure.  He came in 19th. CHECK OUT THE FULL LIST HERE!

“Terminator 3” star NICK STAHL is missing. In “T3”, Stahl played John Connor . . . the rebel who leads the resistance against the machines that take over the world. You may also remember him as Mel Gibson’s young student in “The Man Without a Face”, or as the Yellow Bastard in “Sin City”. His wife filed a missing persons report on Monday, saying she hasn’t seen him since the 9th of this month. The two of them are separated and having ongoing custody issues over their 2-year-old daughter. The wife has suggested that Nick has drug and alcohol problems.  In fact, his current visitation order states that he can’t consume alcohol or narcotics within 24 hours of any contact with the kid. Police are on the lookout for Stahl, and a spokesman says he’s got, quote, “some personal issues that he’s trying to work through.”

John Travolta’s first accuser is still going after the actor. John Doe, who withdrew his initial suit against Travolta, has hired infamous attorney Gloria Allred to represent him. Allred told, “I represent John Doe Number One. Mr. Doe’s lawsuit was dismissed without prejudice which means that he is still legally entitled to file another lawsuit against John Travolta if he chooses. We are in the process of conferring with him regarding the next steps, which he may wish to take. Our client and our firm has no further comment at this time.” It appeared John Doe no longer had a case against Travolta after evidence emerged proving the actor was in New York when he was accused of sexually attacking the masseur.

The teaser for “Anchorman 2” hasn’t officially hit the Internet yet . . . but a bootleg version has, thanks to someone who filmed it in the theater with their iPhone. It’s playing before some screenings of “The Dictator”. WARNING:  There’s some naughty language, with mentions of bodily fluids and nutsacks.  So it may not be appropriate for the office. The teaser POSTER for “Anchorman 2” has also hit the Internet.  It just shows the legs and feet of the Channel 4 News team, along with the words, “Anchorman:  The Legend Continues” . . . and the date 2013.

BROOKLYN DECKER is one of the hottest women in the world, and she’s named after . . . a HORSE. Brooklyn says her mom’s best friend had a horse named Brooke, so her dad suggested ‘Brooklyn’ as a more formal version, and it just stuck. Brooklyn has two new movies coming out this weekend.  She’s the love interest for the male star of “Battleship”, and she’s one of the five pregnant chicks in “What to Expect When You’re Expecting”.

MCA of the BEASTIE BOYS passed away from cancer earlier this month, and on Tuesday he was honored in the New York State Senate. State Senator Daniel Squadron, who represents MCA’s native Brooklyn Heights, introduced a resolution recognizing his contributions to music and political activism.  It passed, and a copy will be sent to MCA’s wife and daughter. You can read the entire resolution HERE . . . and you can find a video below:


Teen Mom 2 star Jenelle Evans is engaged to her on-again-off-again boyfriend Gary Head. The troubled reality star posted a picture of her engagement ring on Twitter with the caption, “I’m the luckiest girl in the world to have Gary Head in my life!” Jenelle and Gary recently split over claims that he cheated, leading to her brief reunion with ex Kieffer Delp. Those two apparently split after he sold topless pictures of her before and after her boob job. ((CHECK OUT THOSE PICTURES HERE!))

All the major networks are unveiling their fall schedules this week, and yesterday CBS took its turn. They announced seven new shows….but here’s the shows CBS is NOT bringing back next season are:  “CSI: Miami”, “A Gifted Man”, “How to Be a Gentleman”, “Rob” and “Unforgettable”…..and they’re still undecided about whether or not to bring back “Rules of Engagement”. Everything else you know and love: “The Amazing Race”, “The Big Bang Theory”, “CSI”, “Hawaii Five-0”, “How I Met Your Mother”, “Mike & Molly”, “NCIS”, “Two and a Half Men” and more are all coming back. Again, we’ll have the rundown of the new shows coming up for ya.

NBC: COMMUNITY and the season finale of 30 ROCK
ABC: The season finale of GREY’S ANATOMY
MTV: THE PAULY D SHOW and PUNK’D – Miley Cyrus pranks Kelly Osbourne, Khloe Kardashian and Liam Hemsworth.
CBS: The season finale of THE MENTALIST

–Bob Saget – 56
–Trent Reznor – 47  (Nine Inch Nails)
–Tony Parker – 30  (The NBA player who got bored of nailing Eva Longoria)
–Sugar Ray Leonard – 56
–Craig Ferguson – 50
–Nikki Reed – 24  (Rosalie Hale . . . the jealous vampire . . . in “Twilight”)
–Bill Paxton – 57  (“Twister”, “Apollo 13” and, “Big Love”)
–Josh Homme – 39  (Queens of the Stoned Age)
–Derek Hough – 27  (“Dancing with the Stars”)
–Jordan Knight – 42  (New Kids on the Block)
Ginger Paige – 36 – Today’s birthday girl has kissed more frogs than princes……and by frogs, I mean PENIS… 69 fine films including:
“Leatherbound Dykes From Hell Volume 16”
“Backstage Sluts Volume 3”
“Screw Love, Let’s F**K”
“Four Finger Club Volume 6”
“A Midsummer Night’s Cream”
“Operation Just Cooze Volume 2”
“Say Aaah”
“Sodomania: Slop Shots Volume 8”

About war1057

Woody and Rizzuto: Insensitivity Training For A Politically Correct World. Class is in session Mon-Fri 6am-10am (central). Stream live:
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