Maybe you have the perfect plan. It was set and good to go. Then all of sudden, almost out of no where, MEGA….UBER….ULTRA….FAILLLLL!


Next month a dude on NBC will attempt to do a tight rope walk at Niagara Falls.  He is most certain to die if he fails.  We are calling this a FUTURE FAIL.  Mainly because his grandfather died attempting to do something very similar. Check the video below:

Check out this a-hole.  Mega fail on WHEEL OF FORTUNE:

We saw this video too.  We love it when bad asses try and show off and MEGA FAIL.  And when you have a LAMBO and try and be a bad ass and rev your engine…you deserve this.  LAMBO SANDWICH?!

A man in Russia had to be rescued from a garbage chute after he got stuck while hiding from his girlfriend.  The 32 year old dude said he tried to slide down the chute around the 8th floor and got stuck somewhere around the 5th.  FAIL!

Last Friday a couple of dudes stole a pick up that had a trailer with about $500,000 worth of equipment from a pathology lab in Florida.  The equipment was in an enclosed area and cops believe that the stuff could have flesh eating viruses on it.  FAIL!

Check out this DUMBASS chick who got hammered drunk and fell of an awning.  It’s HELLA funny!

65-year-old Gino Bertolo wanted to be the mayor of a small town called Cimolais in Northern Italy.  And the job was his . . . he’d been mayor a few decades back and was running UNOPPOSED. But he was afraid that if he ran unopposed, not enough people would turn out to vote.  And if there weren’t enough votes, the election . . . and his win . . . would be invalid. So he asked his friend, 50-year-old Fabio Borsatti, to put himself on the ballot at the last minute.  Fabio did, as a favor to Gino. And since we’re talking about the results of a mayoral election of a tiny town in Italy, you can see where this is going.  Fabio ended up BEATING Gino. Cimolais has a population of 507.  Fabio got 160 votes, Gino got 117.  We’re assuming most voters didn’t know either of them and Fabio’s got the better name. Fabio actually says he’s going to take the job.  Quote, “I find myself a mayor who didn’t want to be a mayor.”  He says his main focus will be promoting tourism. FAIL!

Check out this video…In case you missed it, the lighting of the Olympic torch was on Thursday in Greece.  As you know, it’s SUPPOSED to stay lit until the Olympics start on July 27th in London.  But shortly after they lit it . . . a gust of wind blew it out. It’s worth watching the video, because the woman who lit it is a Greek actress named Ino Menegaki, and the expression on her face was priceless.  She tried to stay calm, but you could tell she had no idea what to do.

Bounty hunters kicked in the door of a woman in her 70s in West Tulsa last week. Once inside, they realized they had the wrong address. The elderly woman was terrified and had no idea who the men were. But that wasn’t the worst of it. She learned something about the two men from police that made her upset. Mary was about to take a bath last Wednesday night when someone began banging on her front door. “He said, ‘you better open the door. I told you we were bounty hunters,'” Mary said. “I said, ‘you could tell me you’re anybody.'” He kept demanding and threatened to kick in the door. So she called 911. She asked the dispatcher if she could put the phone down long enough to get her gun, but was told to stay on the line. Just then, two men kicked in her back door. “I could hear the wood crushing,” Mary explained. “It was scary.” The men came in and looked through her house. They demanded to know where Donnie was. But she repeatedly told them she lived alone and didn’t know a Donnie. That’s when they realized their mistake. “He said, ‘is this 124?’ I said, ‘no, it’s not 124,” Mary said. “‘My letters are on my mailbox in big white letters. You couldn’t have missed it.'” The two men left with barely a word, leaving her backdoor still broken with a big footprint on it. Police found the three bounty hunters and realized two of them, Ronnie Shaw and Cecil Deere, had warrants out for their arrests. So they were booked into jail. All three men got tickets for breaking and entering without permission.

On Saturday night, police in Carmel, Indiana raided a bar and restaurant called the Double Apple Lounge that had a reputation for serving minors. When they got there, they didn’t find any minors at first.  But that’s only because of the bar owner’s GENIUS PLAN. As the cops were approaching, the owner knew there were three underage girls drinking there . . . ages 15, 19, and 20.  So he told them to RUN into the kitchen and PRETEND TO BE COOKS. And this plan MIGHT’VE worked . . . only the three girls couldn’t figure out how to turn on the grill.  So when the cops went into the kitchen, they found three underage women who weren’t dressed like cooks pretending to cook on a cold grill. The bar is facing 16 charges, including selling alcohol to minors and hindering law enforcement.  Each of the girls were also cited for being in a bar and illegal consumption of alcohol.  This is the second raid on the bar this year. MEGA FAIL IDIOTS!

A guy in Maryland was recently the victim of a burglary, and wanted to convince his friend how easily it could happen to him.  So he snuck into his friend’s house on Saturday as a prank, to show him how unsafe his home was.  But the friend…SHOT HIM IN THE GOD DAMN CHEST!

About war1057

Woody and Rizzuto: Insensitivity Training For A Politically Correct World. Class is in session Mon-Fri 6am-10am (central). Stream live:
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