WEDNESDAY’S CRAP ON CELEBRITIES

Today’s CRAP ON has us chatting the celebrity “exhaustion” excuse.  A funny ass Kardashian drawing, how did Stern do on America’s Got Talent? AND, today’s birthdays and WORLD FAMOUS porno BDAY!
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Here we go again…..the singer/co-star of the Kim Kardashian sex tape, RAY J was hospitalized for “exhaustion” on Monday . . . the morning after he allegedly got into a confrontation with WHITNEY HOUSTON’S family over seating at the “Billboard Music Awards”. According to TMZ, someone went to Ray’s hotel room Monday morning and found him disoriented and “out of it”, to the point where he couldn’t even get out of bed.  He was taken to the hospital by ambulance. Ray’s rep is blaming exhaustion and jet lag.  He says Ray had just flown in from a 32-hour business meeting in China, in which he performed and attended meetings.  Then he drove four hours to Vegas for the awards.

WILL SMITH was on “Letterman” last night . . . and obviously, the subject of him slapping that kissing reporter in Moscow came up. Will said he was later told, quote, “That’s just his schtick.”  To which Will replied, quote, “Well, that’s why his ass got schtuck.”Meanwhile, DONALD TRUMP decided to inject his bloated, red face into the issue.  He posted a video saying he LOVED that Will hit the guy, but wishes he’d hit him HARDER. He also said someone should do that to SACHA BARON COHEN . . . whom he basically called a no-talent.

We don’t know if this is legit, but it’s SUPPOSEDLY a picture drawn by a 10-year-old kid of the Hulk smashing the KARDASHIANS. And it’s quite brilliantly titled, “Hulk Smashes:  The Kardashiens”. We sincerely hope this really IS the work of a 10-year-old boy, and not some grown up trying to fool us and / or generate web hits.  But it would still be kinda funny if it was.

 

 

JERRY SEINFELD was on Bravo’s “Watch What Happens Live” on Monday night, and he revealed his LEAST favorite episode of “Seinfeld”. He said, quote, “There was one where a guy had a stroke and we were feeding him on the couch, and it was an older guy.  I felt very uncomfortable with that episode.  It was weird.  He was in a wheelchair and . . . it was uncomfortable.” That episode was titled “The Alternate Side,” and it aired in 1991, during Season Three.  The man on the couch was Elaine’s 66-year-old boyfriend, who had the stroke right before she was going to break up with him. It’s also the WOODY ALLEN episode, with the catchphrase:  “These pretzels are making me thirsty.” We’ve got the clip of the couch scene that Jerry found uncomfortable. For what it’s worth, this episode a classic.

 

BLACK LABEL SOCIETY’S ZAKK WYLDE . . . who’s also played guitar for OZZY OSBOURNE . . . laid out his “rules of the road” in an interview with Billboard.com. He said, quote, “No crapping on the bus.  You’d figure that would be Rule Number One for any band going out on the road. “It really is amazing to this day when we’re out on the road how many people want to use the bathroom and we have to tell them that.  We still have to put signs up.” Rule Two is:  “Don’t run out of booze on the bus,” although Zakk stopped drinking three years ago when he had to go on blood-thinning medication. Another rule is:  Be careful around groupies. He says, quote, “People always ask me how I’ve remained faithful to my wife for 26 years.  I go, ‘Well sexually I would keep it hot in the bedroom.’ Instead of having her dress up in garters and a bustier and stuff like that, I’ll have her dress up in a gorilla suit and I’ll punch out the holes for all the spots I need and that way not only do I feel like I’m conquering her, I’m also conquering wildlife.”  He’s probably joking about that . . . although it would be AWESOME if he weren’t.

 

The official numbers are in…..and Howard Stern’s debut as a judge on the new season of “America’s Got Talent” was only good for 16th place in the weekly ratings….oh-fa. Tuesday’s episode did slightly better with 10.6 million viewers at #15. As for the Top 10 shows of the week, “NCIS” once again finished at #1….”American Idol” episodes were at 2 and 3. Dancing with the Stars was 4th, NCIS LOS ANGELES was 5th. The rest of the top 10 starting with #6: Criminal Minds, The CBS Sunday Movie Special, “Jesse Stone: Benefit of Doubt”, the Dancing with the Stars results show, The Mentalist and Person of Interest. And THAT is what America is watching. The ENTIRE top 10 shows on cable last week were NBA games. The first NON basketball show is WWE wrestling at #11 and Swamp People at #12….then it’s right back to more basketball.

 

 

CRAPPY BDAYS:
–Drew Carey – 54
–Jewel – 38  (Snaggletoohed Lillith Fair singer of the 90’s)
–Joan Collins – 79  (Old broad)
–Marvelous Marvin Hagler – 58  (Boxing star of the ’80s who liked the “Marvelous” nickname so much that he LEGALLY added it to his name.)

 

 

PhotobucketJennifer Love – 26 – Today’s birthday girl has seen more wiener than a urologist……in 99 fine films including:
“Black Meat Please! Volume 2”
“Gooey Buns Volume 16”
“Built For Filth”
“Milk Nymphos Volume 2”
“DP Fanatics Volume 6”
“Anal Annihilations Volume 2”
“Sextoy Story”
“Girls Dil-Doing Girls Volume 4”

About war1057

Woody and Rizzuto: Insensitivity Training For A Politically Correct World. Class is in session Mon-Fri 6am-10am (central). Stream live: http://1057thepoint.com
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