FRIDAY’S CRAP ON CELEBS & THE PORNO BDAY

Today’s CRAP ON CELEBRITIES we chat about backlash from the Kathie Lee/Martin Short incident.  Plus, Alanis Morrisette agrees with attachment parenting!     We also rock today’s CRAPPY BDAYS and PORNO BIRTHDAY!

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MARTIN SHORT is cool with KATHIE LEE GIFFORD. . . even though she messed up on the “Today” show Wednesday and didn’t even know his wife was dead. During an interview with E! News, Martin was asked why he chose to deal with it the way he did . . . which was to just go with it and not correct Kathie Lee. He said, quote, “I think that it’s live television and people make mistakes and there’s no ill will intended.  And I think it’s nice to aspire to be kind of elegant.”  But check this out:  Kathie Lee has done this before.  In 1997, when she was still on “Live!  With Regis and Kathie Lee”, Kathie Lee asked JAMES TAYLOR how his brother was doing.

 

ALANIS MORISSETTE was on “Good Morning America” yesterday talking about breastfeeding and “attachment parenting”.  And she said she’ll nurse her son Ever until he’s SIX if that’s what he wants.  He’s already 17 months old and still sucklin’. She added, quote, “I know some children who have weaned naturally at two years, some kids wean naturally a couple of years later;  I mean, it’s up to every child.” Attachment parenting also means as much skin-on-skin contact as possible and sharing a bed with the kids. Alanis even admits that the longest she’s ever let the kid cry is SIX MINUTES.

The History Channel’s three-part “Hatfields & McCoys” miniseries tore it up in the ratings this week.  Monday’s premiere attracted 13.9 million people, which made it the most-watched non-sports telecast in the history of basic cable. The second episode on Tuesday was down . . . but just slightly.  13.1 million people tuned in for that. But Wednesday night’s finale was UP . . . beating the mark that it had just set on Monday . . . with 14.3 million viewers.

The Hatfields & McCoy’s actually get along now.  They got together on Family Fued back in the 70’s

JOHN MAYER said that JESSICA SIMPSON was “sexual napalm”.  And it sounds like he was right. This girl NEEDS IT so badly that she’s already broken the rule of not having sex for SIX WEEKS after giving birth.  And her baby-daddy ERIC JOHNSON reaps all the benefits of that. Jessica says, quote, “I think I have the sexiest man in the world.  So that’s the rule I break.” Jessica just gave birth to her daughter Maxwell on May 1st.  Although to be fair, she did have a C-section.  So her TUNNEL OF LUSCIOUSNESS is pretty much intact. Still, she admits that the carnal shenanigans started even before her C-section scar had healed.

The Cleveland party bus driver MATTHEW FOX allegedly assaulted last summer has dropped her lawsuit. Her lawyer says Fox did NOT pay her off.  Instead, he and his attorneys frightened her off with their, quote, “ability to wage legal war against her.” The woman’s lawyer also claims he dropped her as a client in April because she was difficult to deal with. The timing on this is interesting.  Earlier this week, Fox’s former “Lost” cast mate DOMINIC MONAGHAN accused him of having a history of beating women.

This could actually be pretty epic:  SYLVESTER STALLONE and ROBERT DE NIRO might star in a movie called “Grudge Match”. . . about two retired boxers who decide to get back in the ring for one final go at each other. What makes this concept so epic is that these guys are the stars of two of the greatest boxing movies of all time.  Stallone is “Rocky”, obviously . . . and De Niro played real-life boxer JAKE LAMOTTA in “Raging Bull”. This one isn’t definite yet, but it sounds like it’s pretty close to happening, and will start shooting sometime next year.

CHECK OUT THE BANNED TRAILER FOR THE MOVIE “TED” COMING OUT SOON:

MOVIES COMING OUT THIS WEEKEND
#1.)  Snow White and the Huntsman  (PG-13)
#2.)  Piranha 3DD  (R)

CRAPPY BIRTHDAYS:
–Morgan Freeman – 75
–Alanis Morissette – 38
–Wayne Brady – 40  (America’s most safe-for-racist-grandmas black man!)
–Rafael Nadal – 26  (Tennis superstar)
–Dana Carvey – 57  (“Saturday Night Live” legend.  Garth from “Wayne’s World”) –Andy Griffith – 86
–Heidi Klum – 39
–Anderson Cooper – 45
–Dennis Haysbert – 58  (President Palmer on “24” and now he’s a spokesman for Allstate Insurance)
–Jerry Mathers – 64  (The Beaver!)
–Teri Polo – 43  (Ben Stiller’s fiancée in “Meet the Parents”.)
–Mark Curry – 51  (He was Mr. Cooper on “Hangin’ with Mr. Cooper”.  Remember the early ’90s?  Mark Curry does!)
–Justin Long – 34  (He’s been in a ton of movies . . . but he’s definitely best known as being the “Mac” guy in Apple’s “I’m a Mac, I’m a PC” commercials)
–Charlie Watts – 71  (Drummer for the Rolling Stones)
–Ron Wood – 65  (Rolling Stones guitarist who isn’t Keith Richards.)
–Ronnie Dunn – 59  (He’s the “Dunn” of Brooks & Dunn)
–Chuck Barris – 83  (The TV producer who developed “The Dating Game”, “The Newlywed Game” and “The Gong Show”.  He also claims the entire time he was an international SPY for the CIA)

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Brooklyn Lee – 23 – Today’s birthday girl has worked more wood than Norm Abrams……in 90 fine films including:
“Mission Asspossible”
“Big Booty Shakedown Volume 2”
“Every Last Drop Volume 17”
“Lesbian Psycho Dramas Volume 5”
“Buttman’s Stretch Class Volume 9”
“Sleazy Riders”
“Mother-Daughter Exchange Club Volume 16”
“Dad Is Fucking My Girlfriend”
“Anal Fanatic Volume 2”

About war1057

Woody and Rizzuto: Insensitivity Training For A Politically Correct World. Class is in session Mon-Fri 6am-10am (central). Stream live: http://1057thepoint.com
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