In today’s DISCOUNT NEWS we chat about some A-HOLES in O’Fallon who called 911 over a DAMN DOG!  A dude got into an argument with his wife and she loses her head.  And a copycat from the biting a dudes face off story! 

In O’Fallon, Missouri couple considered it an absolute emergency, their beloved Great Dane collapsed right in front of them. They called 911 for help.  Now, they’re in trouble with police; still grieving the loss of their dog. Rose and Randy Lakey are due in O’Fallon, Missouri Municipal Court next month.  People may think that’s as it should be, they did call 911 for their dog Easter Sunday. But it wasn’t just any dog. “She was on the front page of the Post-Dispatch,” Rose Lakey said. The newspaper is framed along with a collage of several photos of her beloved dog, Oreo, a 4 year old harlequin – black and white spotted Great Dane. The newspaper coverage came from Oreo`s appearance in the 2009 Soulard Pet Parade.  Oreo wore a pink tutu. She also got onto the field at Busch Stadium for a pooches in the park event.  With a dog the size of Oreo, the Lakeys certainly needed help. Oreo was like their third daughter, only bigger than their two grown girls;  now in their 20`s and no longer living at home. The Lakeys said Oreo stood 6`4′ on her hind legs and weighed 140lbs. “And she just collapsed and fell into the wall and down to the ground;  nothing, I mean it was just so quick,” Rose said.  “I tried to get my arms underneath her like you would if you were going to try to pick up a child.  When I went to try to get her up off the ground, I could barely get her off the ground at all.  When I did, her head and her legs and everything [were everywhere] …she was just out of it.” They said an ambulance crew and police arrived within minutes of their 911 call.  They said one ambulance worker made it clear there was a problem. “She got into the middle of the room and she seen Oreo and she threw her hands up and said, `It`s a dog are you kidding me?`  Then she turned and walked away.  Then she started yelling out to the policeman, `it`s just a dog`.” She said the other crew member brought oxygen for Oreo and helped load her into their car. They got her to an emergency clinic, but it was too late. This is Rizz’s favorite part…Oreo’s ashes are in a black urn and sits next to their bed and the wife wraps it up and sleeps with it every night!  GTFOH!!!!

A man was spotted standing on the roof of his house by his shocked neighbors with a knife in one hand and his wife’s head in another. The 32-year-old man decapitated his wife on the roof of his five-story building. The police officials claimed the man was mentally unstable. Just before the ghastly incident, neighbors claim, the couple were seen arguing on the rooftop. The husband allegedly sharpened his knife and sliced her head off in cold blood. The man apparently stood near the edge of the roof before he flung his wife’s head on the courtyard below. The couple have six children aged between 18 and 13 years. They were in the apartment at the time of the incident. However, it was not clear if the children witnessed any part of the horrific incident.

A 43-year-old Louisiana man was arrested over the weekend for attacking a neighbor while under the influence of what is thought to be bath salts. An attack that, police say, ended with the man biting off “a chunk” of his neighbor’s face, in a strikingly similar manner to the Miami “zombie.” There’s been a wave of news stories lately about people BITING and EATING parts of other people.  So . . . are you twisted enough to wonder what human flesh actually tastes like? No?  Well, we’ve got the answer anyway. William Buehler Seabrook was a writer and adventurer almost a century ago.  He wrote a book called “Jungle Ways” in 1931 that included a description of how he ate human flesh.  And he says it’s most like . . . VEAL. Quote, “It was so nearly like good, fully-developed veal, I think no person with a palate of ordinary, normal sensitiveness could distinguish it from veal.” Seabrook says that raw human flesh looks like beef but less red, and has pale yellow fat.  When it’s roasted, it turns gray, similar to lamb or veal.  And the smell it gives off is closest to beef.

This is hilarious! Last week in Houston, Texas, a woman was cashing a check at a Chase bank. She’s only been identified by her first name, Blanca.  Suddenly, four armed men stormed in to rob the place. Blanca says she was so scared, she SPRINTED out of the bank.  She ran outside, jumped into the first car she saw, noticed the motor was running, and took off. Here’s what she didn’t realize:  She’d just accidentally stolen the robbers’ GETAWAY car.  They’d left it running outside. She drove a few miles, then pulled into a parking lot, ran into a cell phone store, and started screaming for help. When the robbers got outside the bank, they found their car was missing, and CARJACKED a NEW getaway car.  Fortunately, that driver wasn’t hurt. The FBI interviewed Blanca but ended up clearing her . . . she won’t be charged for stealing the car.  They’re still looking for the robbers.

A court says it’s no longer slander in New York to falsely call someone gay. A mid-level appeals court on Thursday wiped out decades of rulings, including its own, to say that society no longer treats false comments that someone is gay, lesbian or bisexual as defamation. Without defamation, there is no longer slander.“These appellate division decisions are inconsistent with current public policy and should no longer be followed,” stated the unanimous decision written by Justice Thomas Mercure of the Appellate Division’s Third Department based in Albany. While the decision sets new case law in New York now, it could still go to a definitive ruling by the state’s highest court, the Court of Appeals.

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