BEST OF THE W.A.R WEEK (06/04-06/08)

On the BEST OF THE W.A.R WEEK and PODCAST you can get caught up on everything that you missed from the show this week.  Patrico got shocked TWICE.  We talked Lindsay Lohan’s nipples.  Rang the Bell on some dudes, rocked a GREAT CROP of Freaks, lit up Jackie for the Drive By Whoring and of course had your BITCHES BE TRIPPIN, KIDS SUCKS STORIES, and FRIDAY FAILS! 


Sometimes you see some questionable male behavior and you just have to call it out. You have to RING THE BELL on some of these actions. Check it out… HERE!

Would you like to see pictures of ANNALYNNE MCCORD on the beach, in a bikini, eating a push-pop? Of course you would. Although, Woody still maintains that she is NOT THAT HOT. Certainly not as hot as she is given credit for. Agree or disagree? CLICK HERE FOR THE PHOTOS

Last week, President Obama was in Minneapolis for several campaign appearances. One of them was to meet workers at a Honeywell factory. An employee brought his fifth-grade son to meet him. It was a school day . . . and the kid got the BEST excuse note EVER President Obama wrote it on official presidential stationery, and said, quote: “Mr. Ackerman, Please excuse Tyler . . . He was with me! Barack Obama.” CLICK HERE TO SEE THE NOTE

There’s a chick in North Carolina . . . who caused some trouble when she flashed her vag in a yearbook gradation photo. It’s actually from LAST year’s graduation ceremony, and the 2011 yearbooks are just coming out now. The girl was 18 at the time, so even though you’re going to feel DIRTY hearing about this, at least you’ll be LEGALLY dirty. CLICK HERE TO SEE THE PHOTO

Seriously – fashion now a days is really weird. We found two pieces of “fashion” that honestly have us scratching our head. First, we talk about a vagina necklace….and are you tired of too much camel toe ladies? We’ve got you/it covered! Check out the Vagina Fashion HERE!


The KARDASHIANS made an annoying, self-indulgent music video set to the NOTORIOUS B.I.G.’s “Hypnotize” during their recent vacation in the Dominican Republic. Most of it features them acting all gangster on a yacht. The girls do their best to act skanky like rap video vixens . . . including 16-year-old KENDALL JENNER and her 14-year-old sister KYLIE. CLICK HERE TO SEE THE VIDEO

Two players got into an epic 38-shot rally at the French Open on Thursday. Richard Gasquet and Grigor Dimitrov were already almost two hours into their match, and they were both exhausted. And when Gasquet finally hit a winner, Dimitrov immediately collapsed because of leg cramps . . . and Gasquet puked. CLICK HERE FOR THE VIDEO

So over the weekend, Rizz attended a b-day party and part of the deal was instead of gifts for the kid, the parents wanted a donation to go to the SmileTrain organization. Rizz went to make his donation on Friday…and made a mistake. CLICK HERE TO SEE WHAT THE MISTAKE WAS…AND SEE HOW RIZZ PULLED A DICK MOVE!

You’ve probably never heard of a disorder called Meralgia Parasthetica. Wearing SKINNY JEANS can cause it. They can compress the nerves in your thigh and cause numbness and tingling. In the worst case, your nerve would have to be removed, leaving your leg permanently numb. Also, you know the ‘Emo’ haircut . . . where your hair hangs down over half your face? Well, apparently it can actually give you a LAZY EYE. CHECK OUT MORE AND PICTURES OF THESE TOOLS HERE


A 14-year-old from San Diego won the Scripps National Spelling Bee on Thursday. She won with the word “guetapens”. So we see how resident tubster Patrico does with his own SPELLING BEE. For everyone he gets right, he’s good. For everyone he gets WRONG…SHOCK HIS ASS! CHECK OUT THE GAME BELOW!

You know the crazy story about the guy in Miami who did bath salts then ate a dude’s face off? A bunch of people online have been joking it’s the start of a “zombie apocalypse.” To the point where the Centers For Disease Control felt the need to remind the public that zombies aren’t real! Their official statement says (quote) “CDC does not know of a virus or condition that would reanimate the dead (or one that would present zombie-like symptoms).” That said…..some asshole decided it would be funny to dress up like a zombie, run around the streets of Miami, and chase random people. CLICK HERE TO SEE THE VIDEO

This is all kinds of wrong/awesome! Some guy in Holland named Bart Jansen decided to pay tribute to his dead cat by having it stuffed . . . then turning it into a remote controlled HELICOPTER. CLICK HERE TO SEE THE VIDEO

Today’s Drive By Whoring is for JACKIE who was so excited her best friend Linda was getting married. She even helped her out by SLEEPING WITH HER BOYFRIEND! What a GREAT best friend! Look out bitch! WAR Wagon is headed your way! CHECK OUT THE FULL WHORING HERE!

There’s a photo online that just might scare you off being in the sun FOREVER. It’s of a 69-year-old former delivery truck driver. The right side of his face looks like any person in their late 60s. But the left side spent several hours a day in the sun while he drove his truck . . . and looks like the face of someone who’s at least 100 years old. CLICK HERE TO SEE THE PHOTO

We’re still talking about the TANNING MOM . . . Patricia Krentcil. And new photos have surfaced that show her back before decades of tanning ravaged her skin and made her look 44 going on 60 . . . and she was actually ATTRACTIVE. CLICK HERE TO SEE HER

A couple in Florida was arrested after a six day meth bender . . . he’s cross-eyed, 25-year-old Nicholas Doyle and the girl with the scars all over her face is 23-year-old Ashley Brooker. Print out these pictures and tape them to your kid’s bedroom wall as a lesson regarding the dangers of meth use. CLICK HERE FOR THE PHOTOS

Check out the medal 23,000 competitors who took part in England’s Edinburgh Marathon got: It looks like a DONG! The marathon director says that no-one had noticed a problem with the medals when they were being designed. There will most likely be a redesign for 2013’s race. How did they not realize this RIGHT AWAY? CLICK HERE FOR THE PHOTO


All I gotta say……it that if WOMEN aren’t policing condom use anymore, we’re ALL in trouble. Because we all know MEN can’t be trusted. Check out these stats from a new survey of 2,000 single women ages 18 to 40 . . .about condom use. CLICK HERE FOR THE RESULTS

Check out the FULL list of DVD’s that you find at Patricia’s in the VIP Porno Birthday section! Maybe you are looking for Say Aloha to my A-hola or even the newest addition WET FOOD Vol 2. You can find it all at Patricia’s! CLICK HERE FOR THE FULL LIST!

Today’s DOUCHEBAG of THE DAY is some dude who claims that he is a member of SEAL TEAM 9. There is one problem. There is no such thing. He claims he is a mind reader/alien informant and he knows things that the government made him SWEAR that he would never released. Oh, he’s also a sexual predator. DOUCHE NEWS HERE


There are many people who will never be anything but REPULSED by the mere thought of the Octomom NADYA SULEMAN . . . let alone the sight of her. We get it. But there’s a new publicity shot for Nadya’s upcoming solo sex movie. And if you can look at it objectively . . . it’s DAMN SEXY. Or is it? CLICK HERE FOR THE PICTURE


Check out this picture of Lindsay Lohan on the set of her new movie Liz & Dick. She has a bit of a double nip slip and you can see the UNCENSORED photos by heading to our TWITTER page! CLICK FOR THE LINK!


How do women have so much trouble finding good guys to date when all these dudes are still available? The website put together a list of a bunch of completely unexplainable dating site pictures and . . . wow. Try not to slide off your seat, ladies! CLICK HERE FOR THE PHOTOS


This guy must be a MASTER OF DISGUISE to pull this off. Last week, police in California arrested a 34-year-old black man who pulled off at least 11 bank robberies disguised as an ELDERLY WHITE MAN. The police finally found him using DNA evidence from items he left at the scenes of a few robberies. He’s facing several felony charges. READ MORE AND SEE PICS HERE

MAYOR FRED was in the building for the reading of the FREAKS! Check out the four ads that we have found on Craigslist and find out who will become the this weeks FREAK OF THE WEEK! Hear Fred read these nominees and then click the link to see who won this week and now qualifies for the Jerry Sandusky Memorial Trophy! ALL YOUR FREAKS HERE…READ ON!

Check out this video of Aries Spears busting out some sweet freestyle impersonations of famous rappers. I saw this video back in the day and had NO IDEA that it was even on Woody’s old show. Check out the video BY CLICKING RIGHT HERE

We think this marriage might have been in trouble before it started. On Saturday, a couple got married in Germany. And a few days before the wedding, they posted on an erotic auction site offering a stranger the chance to have sex with the bride on her wedding night. The winning bidder paid $455 . . . but there’s no word on how things went down. READ MORE AND SEE PICTURES HERE

Can you see what the first of all moment is in the following news story. You all know what a first of all moment is. And if you don’t…you can click HERE to head to our blog and check out the list of FIRST OF ALL WORDS and see some hilarious first of all pictures CLICK HERE TO PLAY THE GAME!

It’s a variation of our GUESS THE STATE contest. We give you TWO stories and you have the simple job of guessing WHICH of the stories is from the lovely STATE of FLORIDA. I guess you can almost consider this a threesome between Guess The State, Headline Hooshe, and Fail Stories. Continue reading →


Today’s BITCH BE TRIPPIN segment…ladies – we love you – but sometimes you do and say some really crazy stuff. So – we gotta call you out. We took some calls and rocked out some news stories for today’s BITCH BE TRIPPIN! ALL STORIES AND CALLERS HERE!


MAYOR FRED was in the building for the reading of the FREAKS! Check out the four ads that we have found on Craigslist and find out who will become the this weeks FREAK OF THE WEEK! Hear Fred read these nominees and then click the link to see who won this week and now qualifies for the Jerry Sandusky Memorial Trophy! ALL YOUR FREAKS HERE…READ ON!

This is HELLA nerdy! Some dork in Utah proposed to his girlfriend during Provo’s first ever “dance walk” . . . which is basically a parade where you goof off and dance through town. First he had a group of fake bad-guys start giving her a hard time. Then he came in as Spider-Man and had a fake fight with them. And after it was over, he took his mask off and proposed. CLICK HERE FOR THE VIDEO


Check out this doll that a mother bought from Houston. She claims that the doll is supposed to say Mama, Dada, and random baby coos. But, honestly…at one point it sounds like it may say “Crazy Bitch!” You watch the video and judge for your self. CHECK IT OUT AND VOTE HERE

Not sure who this is, or where they’re from……but is this not the most f**ked up thing you’ve seen….well…..recently? Ok, at least the most f**ked up thing you’ve seen TODAY? CLICK HERE TO SEE THE PICTURE

HOOSIER ALERT! A man in Texas named Jonathan Thompson was arrested for fighting with his stepfather. They took him down to the county lockup, where they took his mug shot and photographed his tattoos for identification purposes. That’s when they noticed one of his tattoos that said “Woody Wallace can suck my dick”. CLICK HERE TO SEE THE TATTOO

Today’s DUMBASS CONTEST is IMPOSSIBLE TRIVIA! We ask you a question, and usually the answer is….IMPOSSIBLE to get. GETTING IT! So, if you answer it correctly, you have a chance for 311 tix!! PLAY THE GAME HERE!


A few days ago, an English teacher named David McCullough spoke at his high school’s graduation in Boston and TOLD THE TRUTH. It was AMAZING. His message to the graduates was . . . YOU’RE NOT SPECIAL. Just because people have pampered you, no one’s going to hand you anything from this point on. So do something worthwhile, don’t do everything for selfish gains, and you can really live a fulfilling life. WAKE UP, KIDS!

What are the 10 Most Ridiculous Race Car Driver Names? The website asked its readers . . . and they came up with the following list. Here it is . . . CLICK HERE


***UPDATE*** MOMMY LEFT A COMMENT ON THE PAGE. A couple in Florida was arrested after a six day meth bender . . . he’s cross-eyed, 25-year-old Nicholas Doyle and the girl with the scars all over her face is 23-year-old Ashley Brooker. Print out these pictures and tape them to your kid’s bedroom wall as a lesson regarding the dangers of meth use. CLICK HERE FOR THE PHOTOS


GOT GAME WITH STEVE MANBALLS MASTERS! If you have a video game question or just curious about the latest stuff in gaming…check out the Got Game Segment with Steve “Manballs” Masters. ALL THE GOT GAME STUFF HERE


Today’s HEADLINE HOOSHE STORY OF THE WEEK is going down! Who will win today’s STORY OF THE WEEK?! Actually..we have FIVE stories today. First, the local Wal-Mart Meth Lab! Could it be the Wisconsin Man with the Tractor DUI? Or even the woman who whipped out her cans…and her can! Possibly the mama who left her kids with her BF while she hit up the meth clinic or is it the penis showing, pot eating, pervert?! You can see who wins BY CHECKING OUT THE HOOSHE NEWS HERE!


The National Retail Federation just released the list of the most shoplifted items in the U.S. last year, and apparently we Americans like to party and have sex, we’re materialistic, we’re vain, and we’re chubby. Overall, 96% of the 125 companies surveyed by the NRF say they were a victim of major retail crime in the past year. SEE THE LIST HERE


Back in May of 2010, a man in Colorado named Kenneth DeJoie went to an Arby’s restaurant. He was using the urinal in the men’s room, and when he flushed, he claims a stream of SCALDING HOT WATER shot out of the urinal, and hit him straight in the genitals. So we ask…. DO YOU BELIEVE HIM?!

We’ve got a video of a school bus driver falling out of his seat and CRASHING INTO A HOUSE is making the rounds online. It happened in Carmel, Indiana. The driver’s name is Jack Thomas and he’s 73. And the big mistake he made was not buckling his seatbelt. CLICK HERE TO SEE THE VIDEO!

Seriously, kids these days sucks. The “Generation of Pussies” is growing by the second and more and more the kids think they are OWED things. Well, we have some examples of things that truly make us say KIDS SUCK! KIDS SUCKS STORIES HERE!

Maybe you have the perfect plan. It was set and good to go. Then all of sudden, almost out of no where, MEGA….UBER….ULTRA….FAILLLLL! You can read the stories, hear the audio, and watch the videos of ALL the FRIDAY FAIL STORIES! Plus, listen to Rizz and his “voice of an angel” sing the Friday FAIL THEME SONG! It’s glorious! ALL FAIL STORIES HERE!


We’ve got some good news for you today! We talk about the REAL LIFE Doogie Hauser….like foreals. And you gotta check out this story about the teacher literally giving his students a RUDE AWAKENING SPEECH! CLICK HERE TO READ THE GOOD NEWS





About war1057

Woody and Rizzuto: Insensitivity Training For A Politically Correct World. Class is in session Mon-Fri 6am-10am (central). Stream live:
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