MONDAY’S CRAP ON CELEBS & TODAY’S PORNO BDAY

In today’s CRAP ON CELEBS we chat about some Jersey Shore nudity and Lindsay Lohan has crashed her car over the weekend…and of course…there is drama.  Plus, today’s CRAPPY BDAYS and today’s PORNO BDAY!
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Naked pictures of SNOOKI from “Jersey Shore” hit the web over the weekend. Unfortunately . . . or fortunately, depending on how high your standards are . . . they’re CENSORED, and there are no uncensored versions out there.  At least not yet. In the photos, Snooki is snapping herself in a mirror.  She’s wearing a white robe in one shot.  She’s opening it to reveal her naughties in another shot.  And in another, the robe is OFF. And these ARE legit, because Snooki’s rep says, quote, “Clearly these are old and personal photos that were not meant for the public.  It’s a shame someone decided to leak them for obvious personal gain.” There are also some pics that are supposedly of Snooki’s cast mate ANGELINA PIVARNICK taking nude shots of herself, too. Check out the pics on today’s show blog. The first three are Snooki . . . and the last two are supposedly Angelina, although her face isn’t visible in any of them.

SNOOKI PICS:

      

ANGELINA PICS:
       

SPEAKING OF NUDITY AND NIPPLES….The 55,000 people who attended MADONNA’S gig in Istanbul, Turkey this past Thursday night got a very special treat:  A clear view of one of her 53-year-old NIPPLES. It was during the song “Human Nature”.  Madonna stripped down to her bra, then pulled the right cup down to expose her baby feeder.  She also had “No Fear” written on her back like a giant tattoo. Check out her disgusting “fake” BACK TAT below…and CLICK ON THE PICTURE TO HEAD TO OUR TWITTER PAGE AND SEE THE UNCENSORED NIP!

LINDSAY LOHAN had an accident on her way to the set of that ELIZABETH TAYLOR movie on Friday morning.  She’s fine, but the Porsche she was driving is TOTALED. Lindsay was driving, when she rear-ended a dump truck.  She and the assistant suffered minor injuries and were treated at a nearby hospital.  The truck driver wasn’t injured.  Warning:  If you’re a Porsche enthusiast, these will hurt. Let me answer your first question right off the bat:  Lindsay was NOT under the influence. As for whose fault it was . . . well, some reports claim that Lindsay is blaming the truck driver for cutting her off.  And a source told TMZ that she also said the Porsche’s brakes didn’t work when she tried to slam on them…..(The car was rented.) But the truck driver said he did NOT pull in front of Lindsay.  He was just driving along when he felt her crash into him from behind. TMZ interviewed the guy, and he said Lindsay tried to GET AWAY after the accident. He said she was being followed by an Escalade, and after the collision, she and her assistant exited the Porsche and got into it. Before he got out, though, the assistant supposedly filled up a pink bag with something, then covered it with clothes and brought it with him. The driver of the Escalade and the assistant got out and approached the truck driver.  They actually took him across the street and offered him CASH to drop the whole thing.  But he told them he’d already called 911. But Lindsay’s rep says the guy is full of it . . . quote, “It seems to me once he realized he wasn’t going to get anything from Lindsay he decided to get cash by telling tales to the tabloids.

Lotta people tweeting and retweeting about how a paper in Idaho, The “Boise Weekly” tore NICKELBACK a new one in a concert preview. Here’s the full write-up: (quote) “You can spend $45 to go see Nickelback this week. Or you could buy 45 hammers from the dollar store, hang them from the ceiling at eye level and spend an evening banging the demons out of your dome. That $45 would also buy you a lot of pickles, which have more fans on Facebook than the band. It would also buy you an introduction to rock guitar video course that would allow you to surpass the band’s skill level in five hours or less. $45 is also enough to see Men in Black III five times, buy a dozen Big Macs, do 10 loads of laundry or so many other experiences as banal and meaningless as seeing Nickelback but that come without having to actually hear Nickelback. But if you must, the band is playing the Idaho Center on Wednesday, June 13, at 6 p.m. Tickets start at $45.”

Comedy and marijuana legend TOMMY CHONG has revealed that he has PROSTATE CANCER.  Guess how he’s going to treat it?  With help from pot, of course. Tommy is 74 years old.  He says the cancer is a, quote, “slow stage one” at this point.  And it sounds like he’s blaming it on his incarceration eight years ago for selling bongs over the Internet. He says, quote, “The prison is built on toxic waste.  I also got gout from the food there.” As for his recovery he says, quote, “I’m treating it with hemp oil, with cannabis.  So [legalizing marijuana] means a lot more to me than just being able to smoke a joint without being arrested.” Chong says he’s using hemp oil because he quit smoking pot about a year ago.  But he only takes it at night so he won’t be, quote, “woozy all day.” He also claims he started having prostate problems during a three-year DRUG-FREE period in his life, so he knows pot didn’t cause the cancer.

“Prometheus” earned $50 million at the box office this weekend….but it lost to the latest “Madagascar” movie, but that’s still an impressive haul for second place. That’s easily the best opening weekend for any of the “Alien” movies.  In fact, that’s also better than what “Alien Resurrection” and “AVP: Requiem” made during their entire theatrical runs. As for the “Madagascar” franchise, the new one earned $60.4 million which lands squarely between the other two.

Here are this week’s Top 5 movies . . .
1.)  “Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted”
2.) “Prometheus”
3.) “Snow White and the Huntsman”
4.)  “Men in Black 3”
5.) “The Avengers”

MONDAY TV:
NBC; 2012 STANLEY CUP FINAL – Game 6. New Jersey Devils at Los Angeles Kings.
FOX: HELL’S KITCHEN and MASTERCHEF
ABC: THE BACHELORETTE

CRAPPY BIRTHDAYS:
–Joe Montana – 56
–Shia LaBeouf – 26
–Gene Wilder – 79
–Hugh Laurie – 53  (“House, M.D.”)
–Peter Dinklage – 43  (The most successful midget in Hollywood.  He’s currently playing Tyrion Lannister on HBO’s “Game of Thrones”)
–Dr. Oz – 52
–Frank Beard – 63  (ZZ Top….who ironically, is the one WITHOUT the beard)
–Joshua Jackson – 34  (He was Pacey on “Dawson’s Creek”.  Now he’s on that Fox show, “Fringe”.)
–Greta Van Susteren – 58  (Fox News)
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Jamie Huxley – 31 – Today’s birthday girl has been screwed harder than Manny Pacquiao…..in 66 fine films including:
“Load Warriors”
“Big League Facials”
“De-Briefed Volume 2”
“Potty Mouth”
“Desperate Housewhores Volume 2”
“Cream Girls”
“Bitches In Heat Volume 2”
“EFF My Face”
“Screw My Wife Please Volume 49 (She’s So Ready)”

About war1057

Woody and Rizzuto: Insensitivity Training For A Politically Correct World. Class is in session Mon-Fri 6am-10am (central). Stream live: http://1057thepoint.com
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