NEAT! THE REALLY IMPORTANT NEWS!

Here are three new things to worry about.  One, the overall violent crime rate in the U.S. is down . . . except for murders in small towns, which are up 18%.  Two, Google says we’re racist.  A study found people search for the N-word and racist jokes as much as they search for the “Daily Show” and migraines.  And three, don’t worry about getting an inheritance, because your parents are going to live so long they’ll spend it all.

#1.)  People in Small Towns Keep Killing Each Other.  According to the latest FBI data, violent crimes are down in virtually every category all over the country.  Except for murders in small towns.  For some reason, those are WAY UP. Overall, violent crime was down 4% in 2011 . . . but murders in towns with populations under 10,000 were up 18.3%.  The FBI didn’t speculate on why.

#2.)  Google Says We’re Racist.  A doctoral candidate at Harvard analyzed Google searches for the N-WORD.  And he found the N-word gets about the same number of searches as “Lakers,” “Daily Show,” “migraine,” and “economist.”He also found the more people who searched for the N-word in an area, the worse PRESIDENT OBAMA performed there in the 2008 election.

#3.)  You’re Not Getting an Inheritance.  People are living longer than ever.  That means your parents have a great chance of living into their 80s.  But old age ain’t cheap.  So the longer they live, the lower your inheritance.And as parents live longer, more and more people realize they need to support them.  But hey, you get more time with your parents, and that’s better than any amount of money.  Right?  RIGHT?

Red Solo cups have become the unofficial cup you HAVE to have at a party.  If you don’t have Solo cups or, even worse, if you have BLUE, YELLOW or CLEAR cups, people are gonna talk.  And there’s a rumor going around Facebook that Red Solo cups are actually SMARTER than you realized.  Those lines that wrap around the different sections of the cup aren’t just for decoration . . . they’re actually measurements. The first line above the base is supposedly the one-ounce mark, if you’re having liquor.  The next line is at five ounces, if you want to be classy and drink wine from your plastic cup.  And the third line up is at the 12-ounce mark, for one full beer. But according to Snopes.com, it’s an urban legend.  They contacted the Dart Container Corporation, which makes the cups, and they said, quote, “The lines on our Party Cups are designed for functional performance, and are not measurement lines. “If the lines do coincide with certain measurements, it is purely coincidental.”  Which sorta makes sense, since a shot is 1.5 ounces anyway.

About war1057

Woody and Rizzuto: Insensitivity Training For A Politically Correct World. Class is in session Mon-Fri 6am-10am (central). Stream live: http://1057thepoint.com
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