With today’s CRAP ON CELEBS we are chatting about a GOODFELLA dying and you seriously will NOT believe how much the Jersey Shore cast members make!  All that and your CRAPPY BDAYS and your WORLD FAMOUS PORNO BIRTHDAY!

Former mobster HENRY HILL . . . who became an FBI informant against the Lucchese crime family and then had his life made into the movie “Goodfellas” . . . died yesterday at the age of 69. RAY LIOTTA played Henry in “Goodfellas”, which came out in 1990. His girlfriend says, quote, “He had been sick for a long time.  His heart gave out.” Hill entered the witness protection program in 1980, but was expelled in 1987 due to several drug arrests.  Over the years he was a frequent guest on “The Howard Stern Show”. has released a rundown of the INSANE MONEY the cast of “Jersey Shore” is pulling down for the upcoming sixth season . . . and you should be warned:  It’s pretty depressing. SNOOKI, THE SITUATION and PAULY D get the most.  They each make $150,000 per episode.  There will probably be around 12 episodes, although the official number hasn’t been set.  That comes out to about $1.8 million. But they also got a $400,000 “signing bonus” . . . and will get another $200,000 bonus after the season wraps.  If MTV decides to add additional “reunion episodes” at the end of the season, they’ll also get $150,000 for each one of those. That puts the grand total in the neighborhood of $2.55 million. The rest of the cast is also picking up ridiculous paychecks.  JWOWW makes $100,000 per episode, and VINNY rakes in $90,000.  RONNIE and SAMMI each make $80,000 per episode. DEENA makes $40,000 per episode. Just three short years ago, Snooki was reportedly earning only $200 per episode for the first season of “Jersey Shore”.

CRAP ON WHO SAID IT? QUOTE – “There’s More to Life Than Getting Nude and Showing Your Boobs.”  

A.)  Jenny McCarthy
B.)  Madonna
C.)  Rihanna
D.)  Kendra Wilkinson
E.)  Tony Patrico

ANSWER:  KENDRA WILKINSON . . . who has a new show on WE TV with the sexually-suggestive title “Kendra On Top”.  She says, quote, “You will see the [traditional] Kendra antics on my new show, but I have retired a couple things, like ‘Playboy’ and the nudity. I just figure that there’s more to life than getting nude and showing your boobs.  I have added a lot of layers to my life and I’m more spontaneous now than I once was, but I don’t have to take off my top.”

It’s amazing that she was able to keep it a secret this long, but American Pie’s “band camp flute girl” and “How I Met Your Mother” star ALYSON HANNIGAN gave birth to a baby girl on May 23rd. This is the second child for Alyson and her husband. They named her Keeva Jane Denisof.  They also have a 3-year-old daughter named Satyana.

TNT: The premiere of the new DALLAS. Larry Hagman, Linda Gray, and Patrick Duffy are back. The new cast members include Jordana Brewster and three faces you may know from “Desperate Housewives” including Brenda Strong who was the “Housewives” narrator Mary Alice.

–Tim Allen – 59
–Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen – 26
–Chris Evans – 31  (Captain America in “The Avengers” and “Captain America”, and the Human Torch in the “Fantastic Four” movies)
–Malcolm McDowell – 69  (He was in “A Clockwork Orange”, He was also Terence on “Entourage” and Dr. Loomis in Rob Zombie’s “Halloween” movies)
–Ally Sheedy – 50  (A member of the Brat Pack who tore up “The Breakfast Club”, “St. Elmo’s Fire”, “WarGames” AND “Short Circuit”.)
–Steve-O – 38  (“Jackass” and “Wildboyz” clownass and reformed coke addict)
–Stellan Skarsgard – 61  (Swedish character actor who was Bootstrap Bill in two “Pirates of the Caribbean” movies.  He’s also Erik Selvig in “Thor” and “The Avengers”.)
–Hannah Storm – 50  (Sports talking broad on ESPN)
–Rivers Cuomo – 42  (Lead singer of Weezer)
Tara Lynn Fox – 22 – Today’s birthday girl has been packed tighter than a fat girl in a tube top…….in 148 fine films including:
“Don’t Pull Out Volume 7”
“Anal Buffet Volume 6”
“Diesel Dongs Volume 12”
“Facial Fest Volume 5”
“My New Black Stepdaddy Volume 2″
“Oh No! There’s a Negro In My Daughter Volume 3”
“White Bitch Sandwich Volume 1”
“Jimmy Gets A Footjob”

About war1057

Woody and Rizzuto: Insensitivity Training For A Politically Correct World. Class is in session Mon-Fri 6am-10am (central). Stream live:
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