It’s a variation of our GUESS THE STATE contest. We give you TWO stories and you have the simple job of guessing WHICH of the stories is from the lovely STATE of FLORIDA. I guess you can almost consider this a threesome between Guess The State, Headline Hooshe, and Fail Stories.
This guy is no B.A. BARACUS. 50-year-old Luis Davilo is clearly a big “A-Team” fan. We know because he has a Ford van painted black with a red stripe to look just like the “A-Team” van. Unfortunately, Luis isn’t so good about following the laws in his “A-Team” van. On Saturday night, a cop pulled him over for several traffic violations, including driving without his headlights on. Luis pulled over briefly . . . but then as the cop approached him, Luis turned the van back on and RAMMED IT into the COP CAR. Then he drove forward and rammed it into a light pole. His window was down, and the cop actually TASERED HIM through the open window. SEVERAL times. Backup finally arrived and they pulled Luis out of the van, where they found an empty beer can inside. Luis was arrested for attempting to elude a law enforcement officer, leaving the scene of an accident, resisting arrest, and aggravated battery.
Last week on the way home from a bar, 22-year-old John McGuinness saw his girlfriend get a text from another man and FLIPPED OUT. They argued, and he dropped her off at her home. Then, to get revenge, he decided to do something we’re guessing NO ONE ELSE has ever done. He took a pair of her $200 jeans she’d left at his house . . . and covered them with WASABI. We don’t really get it either. Then, he called her and told her he was throwing her stuff on the lawn. When she went over to his house, they argued, and he picked up the wasabi-covered jeans and used them to hit her in the FACE. Some of the wasabi got in her eyes . . . then he poured more wasabi into her car. He was arrested and charged with domestic assault and battery, and assault and battery with a dangerous weapon. That’s right: If you soak jeans in wasabi and hit someone, it makes them a dangerous weapon.