WEDNESDAY’S CRAP ON CELEBS & TODAY’S PORNO BIRTHDAY!

Today’s CRAP ON we chat about Alec Baldwin having ANOTHER meltdown and who said that women…just aren’t funny?  Plus today’s CRAPPY BIRTHDAYS and the world famous PORNO BIRTHDAY!
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ALEC BALDWIN and his fiancée went to City Hall in Manhattan yesterday to get a marriage license.  And on their way out, Alec went after “New York Daily News” photographer Marcus Santos, and the pictures are pretty priceless. Check ’em out on today’s show blog. Of course, when it comes to the details, Santos and Baldwin have very different accounts. Santos was among several photographers outside the building.  He says Baldwin came out of the building looking (quote) “irate”  and told everyone to step back . . . which they did….but I guess it wasn’t enough, so Alec allegedly grabbed one of the other photographers, and Santos said, quote, “Don’t touch him.”  That’s when Baldwin went after Santos. (quote) “He comes after me, starts shoving and punching me, one time, right in the chin.  And then he started shoving me, and pushing me.  Then he goes the other way.” Another photographer who witnessed the whole thing says, quote, “He was like crazy. You’re going to get a marriage license, you should be happy.  What happened with this guy?” Alec also addressed the situation on Twitter yesterday.  He said, quote, “A ‘photographer’ almost hit me in the face with his camera this morning. #all paparazzi should be waterboarded.” He added, quote, “I suppose if the offending paparazzi was wearing a hoodie and I shot him, it would all blow over.”

It’s the age-old comedy argument:  Are women funny?  According to ADAM CAROLLA, they are NOT.  For the most part, anyway.  And on the various writing staffs he’s been a part of, the women tended to be the LEAST funny. Adam says, quote, “They make you hire a certain number of chicks.  If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor, I’m just gonna tell her, ‘Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they’ll have to hire you, they can’t really fire you and you don’t have to produce that much.  It’ll be awesome.'” Carolla then likened hiring women for comedy purposes to picking Jewish guys for your basketball team. He said, quote, “You’ll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke.  Why?  Because you’re playing the odds. He continues: “When it comes to comedy, of course there’s Sarah Silverman, Tina Fey, Kathy Griffin . . . super funny chicks.  But if you’re playing the odds?  No. If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they’d be off TV.  They’re not funny enough for dudes.  What if Roseanne Barr was a dude?  Think we’d know who she was?  Honestly.

Sacha Baron Cohen admitted that he could be deported because of his actions on past movie shoots — primarily in Kansas and Arizona. He explained that if he is arrested, he could easily lose his work visa. As for some of his brush-ins with the law? Cohen recalled that while filming Borat, “They had so many complaints that there was a Middle Eastern man driving through America in an ice-cream van that the FBI assigned a team to us.”

Rob Zombie’s next film project as a writer and director will be Broad Street Bullies, about the famous Philadelphia Flyers hockey team of the 1970s that were famous for beating the Soviet Union’s team at the time and notorious for their violent tactics on the ice. According to Deadline, the Flyers played so brutally against the Soviet squad that the latter wanted to quit after one period. Zombie said in a statement about the film, “Each character involved is more outrageous than the next. The backdrop of the turbulent year of 1974 is perfect for this ‘stranger than fiction’ sports tale.” Zombie reportedly wants the movie to feel like a cross between Rocky and Boogie Nights. The Flyers, who went from a cellar-dwelling expansion team to winners of back-to-back Stanley Cups, were previously chronicled in an HBO documentary, also called Broad Street Bullies.

NBC has announced the celebrity cast for a new reality show called “Stars Earn Stripes”, where celebrities compete in “real military exercises.” The stars are each paired with an “operative” who helps coach them.  These “operatives” are current or former members of the military and law enforcement. The celebrity cast includes: Former “Lois & Clark” star Dean Cain, Sarah Palin’s husband Todd, Muhammad Ali’s daughter Laila Ali . . . She’s a retired professional boxer. Terry Crews (he was the dad on “Everybody Hates Chris”), Nick Lachey, Former Olympic skier Picabo Street, the WWE’s Eve Torres and more. The hosts are SAMANTHA HARRIS from “Dancing with the Stars” and “Entertainment Tonight”, and retired General WESLEY CLARK. The challenges will include everything from helicopter drops to long-range weapon firing, and each week someone will be eliminated.  The celebrities are playing to win money for military-based charities. It’s amusing who they’re getting to do these celebrity reality shows….15 years ago, Dean Cain was one of the biggest stars on TV, and just EIGHT years ago, General Wesley Clark was running for President in the Democratic primary race.

MIKE TYSON appeared on the “Today” show yesterday with SPIKE LEE to hype his one-man show, which is heading to Broadway with Spike directing.  And not surprisingly, the interview went off the rails a little bit. When ANN CURRY asked Mike Tyson what made him become a vegan, he said, quote, “There’s too many prison cells, jails, lawsuits, bankruptcies, women, venereal diseases, too many everything. “I got tired of umm, every time a prostitute girlfriend came back from a trip I had to sleep with them.” Then he said, quote, “I was a prostitute hunter.”

SOME QUICKIES:

The Octomom’s house was put up for auction yesterday but there were no takers . . . which means it’s now, finally, in foreclosure.

NEW BATMAN TRAILER:

CRAPPY BDAYS:
–John Goodman – 60
–Christopher Mintz-Plasse – 23  (MCLOVIN in “Superbad”)
–John Mahoney – 72  (Frasier’s dad on ”Frasier”)
–Chino Moreno – 39 (Deftones)
–Quinton “Rampage” Jackson – 34
–Brian Wilson – 70  (Beach Boys)
–Nicole Kidman – 45
–Koko B. Ware – 55  (The 80’s WWF superstar)
–Olympia Dukakis – 81
–Lionel Richie – 63
–Martin Landau – 84
–Bob Vila – 66  (“This Old House”)

PhotobucketGigi Rivera – 23 – Today’s birthday girl has been split more than the check at an office happy hour……in 32 fine films including:
“It’s Okay She’s My Step Daughter Volume 5”
“My First Orgy Volume 2”
“Internal Damnation Volume 4”
“Riding Solo Volume 1”
“Daddy’s Little Runaways Volume 1”
“Boffing the Babysitter Volume 8”

About war1057

Woody and Rizzuto: Insensitivity Training For A Politically Correct World. Class is in session Mon-Fri 6am-10am (central). Stream live: http://1057thepoint.com
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